The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

A Week’s Worth of Letters in One Handy Post! April 14, 2014

Filed under: A-Z — DDKlingonGirl @ 9:27 am
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Hello all!  Well, despite my best intentions, I have fallen behind on the blogging challenge.  I normally write while I am at work, and we moved our offices last week.  It took a few days for our internet to be turned back on, and what with one thing and another, I was unable to stay the course.  But I’m back now, and I will try to give you a 6 For 1 post.  Wish me luck!

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F- Fear:  My son is 12.  He will be 13 in only a few weeks.  This is scary.  He is a wonderful, bright, loving, funny kid with a ton of potential.  But he has a few issues.  Impulse control.  Anger management.  Social cues.  Sometimes it is really hard for me to know exactly how to handle him when he is having a bad day, and when that happens, my fear grows exponentially.  Because he is only 12.  What happens when he outsizes me by a foot, is stronger, and more ruled by raging teenage hormone syndrome?  In theory, I stomp the guts out of my current fear, get a grip on him now, and by the time he is 16 he will be well under control, right?  I really hope so.  He is so special and sweet sometimes that the thought of my failing in the task of getting him ready for adulthood is absolutely unbearable.

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G- Good times:  It has been a good weekend.  I have had a lot going on, and much of it has focused on churchy things.  Friday night I went to a Ladies’ Retreat at a nearby church camp.  It was hosted by my home congregation, and was a nice evening.  I only stayed for part of it, because not staying overnight was the only way I could get Daughter S. to go.  She is a homebody deluxe, and the only way she was willing to at least go for the Friday portion of the weekend was if she didn’t have to spend the night.  So we drove out to the camp, enjoyed the dinner and visiting with other ladies.  Mom and I did a skit wherein I played a Tech Support person answering a call about how to “install Love” and I read the whole thing in a “typical tech support India-type accent.”  I hope no one is offended by that, but I guess if you are… lighten up, for crimeny sakes!  Mom and Daughter J. stayed the night and planted flowers for the camp the next day with the rest of the ladies.  Daughter S. and I drove home that night and on Saturday I drove up to another Ladies’ Day at my friend’s church.  After that, I hung out at her house, and we went to a cupcake shop in the next town, watched really tacky movies that totally negated all our church stuff from before, and ate pizza.  But we laughed ourselves silly and had a good time.

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H- Help:  When we moved our offices Monday night, which by the way took place in a raging rainstorm, we could not have done it without the help of two members of our board of directors.  One of them apparently has the nickname “Ox,” and trust me when I say, we needed one.  We moved only a few blocks away from where we were, but the new location involved a 6-story elevator ride OR 6 flights of stairs, and we had a lot of large, heavy office furniture.  They managed to fit almost all the heavy stuff in the elevator (one at a time, obvs.) except for one very tall bookcase, which they manhandled up SIX FLIGHTS OF STAIRS!  It took half an hour.  I cannot tell you how much I appreciate and respect the effort that must have taken.  I was still at our old location overseeing the last of the packing, but wow.  We basically started moving at about 6:30 and by 10:30 we had everything in the new offices.  It was quite an achievement, if I do say so myself.  And now I am absolutely loving my new office and my new view.  Except for the one problem that still remains, which is that I can’t get my most important printer back online.

Well we're movin' on up...!

Well we’re movin’ on up…! (The view from my new 6th floor office on Tuesday 4/8/14)

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I- Incredible Creativity:  My aforementioned 12-year-old son went with me to help on set construction for the current play at my beloved community theater yesterday.  He loves helping with hammers, power drills, and paintbrushes, but yesterday they were still sort of in the engineering stages and there wasn’t much for him to do.  He did a few little tasks, but in between, with materials obtained from the generosity of the set design supervisor, The Boy actually made his own Harry Potter wand!  Set Design gave him a half-inch dowel and a glue gun, and he proceeded to make a swirly grip from glue lines around the handle, and he sanded and painted it and there it was!  It looks pretty good, too.  He’s such a character.  I think he has his sights set on building a yard shed/clubhouse next!  The yard shed part, I totally welcome!

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J- Joke:  As in “This weather is a…”  Yes.  We live in Oklahoma.  It’s April 14.  It’s usually about 85 degrees by now.  Today…?  It’s FORTY DEGREES!!  I know some of y’all are used to that sort of thing, but here it’s just downright bizarre!  Don’t get me wrong- I don’t mind it at all.  I love the cold.  I want to go to Alaska.  The point is, it just seems a little on the weird side.  But maybe I’m wrong.  Easter is this weekend, and it seems like there is usually one last cold snap before Easter.

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K- Keep your eyes on the skies!  Yes, despite the fact that today feels more like February than April, yesterday was our first round of potentially severe weather.  Last night at around 6:00 the storms were coming into our area and despite the fact that we live in a brick house, we headed over to my parents’ house where there is a cellar.  Just one of the many joys of living in this part of the world.  Luckily for us, nothing much happened in my town.  The weather just seemed to split and go north and south of us.  But as we all know, that was the herald of spring here in Southern Oklahoma, and there will be more nervous, sky-watching, cellar-hiding nights ahead in the next few months.

Nature is amazing!

Nature is amazing!

 

 

 

This was the wall cloud that covered our entire area last night about 6:30 PM! Scary, right??

This was the wall cloud that covered our entire area last night about 6:30 PM! Scary, right??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Next post I will deal with the letter I’m actually supposed to be using today, which is L.  Hopefully I’m not all blogged out before I can at least catch up to today, where I’m supposed to be!

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Until next time,

D.

 

Some Done Deals, and the Peace They Bring! May 3, 2013

Thinking

Thinking (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn)

Hello all!  You know what just irks me?  Feeling the need and desire to write, but not knowing what to say.  That happens to me very frequently.  I’ll be just… in that mood.  If you consider yourself a writer at all, even an amateur, you know the one.  For me it’s that I just feel like writing, like I just need to write, RIGHT NOW.  Forget the fact that I may or may not have anything particularly significant to talk about, as long as I’m getting the chatter that’s in my head relocated to the paper or the screen.  It probably doesn’t help that I don’t craft posts ahead of time and save them in organized draft folders for posting at a later, more appropriate time, as some of the bloggers I’ve read apparently do.  I post when I have something on my mind AND I have time to devote to it.  This is probably the reason I often have ideas for posts that never get written.  Things pop into my head, and I’ll think, “Man, that would be a good thing to blog about.  I should write that down.” But then I don’t, and by the time I have a good stretch of time to sit down and write, I’m all “What was that I wanted to write about, again?”  I should definitely work on that.

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Right now I’m all hyped up because after weeks of indecision and dithering, I am tickled to announce that I have booked my flights for my trip to Charleston!  Yay, me!  I am so excited about this.  I know I have gone back and forth, worried incessantly, and probably driven everyone I know stark raving mad, but now that it’s a done deal, I am so happy.  Part of me is still a little concerned about the whole ‘fitting in’ thing.  I feel like I’m older and at a different stage of life than a lot of these amazing bloggers I will be meeting.  Many of them are writing about their babies and nap schedules and nursing problems and sleeping through the night, and terrible twos and kindergarten schedules, and I’m thinking, ‘Boy, could I have been the queen of this world if they’d had this stuff when the girls were little!’  But alas, they didn’t.  So now I have twin girls who are almost 20 years old, and a boy who will be 12 on Monday, and sometimes I’m wondering what I have to offer.  I don’t really have too many Raising Twins cautionary tales or horror stories, unless it’s about what to do when one of your twins literally hates the other one, or when your son is almost universally looked upon as being either the next Jim Carrey/Robin Williams or a future school shooter, and which one he becomes is entirely dependent upon you and your parenting.  That’s a scary-as-heck place to be, I can promise you.

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Anyway, I do realize that there are bloggers of all ages, in all life stages, with all kinds of stories, who will be at this event, and I am so very much looking forward to the adventure and the journey of being a part of it.  I am a little torn between tempering my expectations so that if I don’t find at least one or two people who become fairly good friends I will not be terribly disappointed, and having faith that this is going to be the best, most amazing thing I have done thus far in life and it will result in some wonderful friendships.  I think I’m going to do with the latter, as that seems to have been the experience of many of those who have attended in previous years.  If nothing else, I am excited that it will be the first time I have just branched out on my own and done something for myself, by myself.  (Except for having someone drive me to and from the airport, which my mom has always been willing to do for me, thank goodness.)

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So, more about my son.  He started out in public school in our local district, but he has never really done well.  He has struggled both academically and socially.  We’ve had him tested at every turn, and he has some non-specified processing difficulties, as well as a diagnosis of ADHD.  He also seems to have some Asperger-y traits, but has never been diagnosed with that.  He was in 4th grade last year in public school, and we have been “homeschooling” this year.  I put that in quotes because while we started out with a very structured, organized system at the beginning of the school year through online public school, we pulled out of that after about six weeks, and have been taking a different approach since then.  We have just explored different things that he really loves, and I have tried to teach him some real-world skills that he will need in the future, but there has been very little structure or consistency.   I have really beaten myself up about this.  But he has grown so much, matured in a lot of ways, and I think more than anything, he has really benefitted from just being out from under pressure.  He has spent a lot of time with me, coming to work with me most days since I am blessed with a flexible job as a church secretary, and I think it has been what he needed.  Our lives for the several years leading up to this year have been marked by change, tragedy, and chaos, and I don’t think he handled it very well.

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Thankfully, I think that is largely behind us!  This week, I found an educational option that I think offers the best of both worlds- the self-pace and lower pressure of homeschooling with a little more of the structure and consistency found in the public school environment than I have been able to offer him while trying to work full time simultaneously.  It’s a small private Christian school here that is basically a group homeschool, but the beauty is that it’s NOT I who is responsible for the teaching and structure.  It’s a little pricey for what it is- they want $230 per month, and if I didn’t think it would be incredibly presumptuous, I’d ask friends and family for “sponsors.”  But I think it is do-able for me, whether I get help or not, so I am very happy and excited for both of us.  Honestly I will miss him coming to work with me, but this will be so much better for him- he will get the education he needs in an environment that fits him.

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I could go on and on about this, but this post is already longer than usual.  I’ll just say that for now- I am happy, the stars are aligned, and everything’s coming up roses, and I won’t even make a remark about ducking under my desk to avoid the Other Shoe Dropping.  Oops.  Scratch that.

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Until next time,

D.

 

Just Another Manic Friday November 30, 2012

Hello all!

*bungee jumping vom Dortmunder Fernsehturm; Pla...

Y’all, I live in a state of emotional bungee jumping.  If you’ve been reading me longer than five minutes you know this, and today is one of those days.  Today is a day where my body feels like nothing so much as leashed power.  Like if you could stick the right electrodes on me I could power a small city.   Today is one of those days where I want to do things like go climb mountains with Sherpas.  Do meditative yoga at sunrise with a bunch of monks in a temple somewhere.  Kiss my soul mate at midnight on New Year’s Eve at the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.  Make love on a bearskin rug in front of a blazing fire in a snowbound cabin in Alaska.

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It all started when I was awakened at about 3:30 this morning by the noise from the living room where one of the cats was attempting to violate a package of cookies the kids left in there.  I got up and took it away from her and put it in the fridge.  Then of course I couldn’t get back to sleep.  I just lay there and tossed and turned and flipped and flopped.  I killed a little time doing some exercises.  (Yes, you can exercise while lying in bed.)  I did some leg lifts and butt squeezes and crunch-ish things, some arm presses against the wall over my head.  Stuff like that.

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By the time I got bored with that, it was about to get light outside.  I decided it had been a while since I’d watched a sunrise, so I rolled over and pulled the curtain back from the window and started watching the darkness lighten.  There was only one star in my view and it was a great big bright one.  I decided I’d watch it continuously until it got so light I couldn’t see it anymore and see how long it took.  This was about 6:30.

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So I lay there and held the curtain back and just watched.  The light crept upward and the star I watched got smaller and dimmer.  A couple of times I took my eyes off it and thought it had gone, but then I’d find it again.  Finally, it just disappeared.  It was 7:18 a.m.  The sun still wasn’t actually up.  And I started thinking about how that star is still there, and when I go to bed again, if I look out the window, there it will be.  Some things are always there whether you see them (and acknowledge them) or not.

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So when I wrote all the above, I was flopped across my bed with Clairol #43 on my hair, scribbling furiously across the back of a transcript of something I printed out and brought home from work.  Now I am AT work, and today is what I might call Fashion Experiment Day.  I was in the mood to do something different, so I’m wearing a rather blindingly bright neon yellow A-line thing (it’s either an oversized shirt or a short dress) over white pants, with robin’s egg blue ballet flats.   Dabbling in color makes me happy.

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Yesterday was my twin daughters’ 19th birthday.  I wanted to do a long, mushy post about how amazing and wonderful and fabulous they are, but I got busy at work and didn’t get around to it.  But let me just say that they are two of the brightest spots in my universe, and I don’t know what I would do without them.  They represent all I ever wanted from the time I was in middle school:  to be a mom.  I understand now that there’s a lot more in the world to be experienced than just having babies, and if I could do it over again, I would probably go do some of that other stuff first, but make no mistake:  I would not trade those two amazing young women for all the baguettes in France or all the monks in Tibet.   Happy Birthday, my girls!

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Until next time,

D.

 

I Tried and Tried, But A Good Title For This One Just Wouldn’t Come November 21, 2012

Romeo + Juliet

Romeo + Juliet (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello all.  I’d like to start by wishing everyone a happy Thanksgiving.  I’ve wanted to write for a couple of days now, and just wasn’t feeling it.  But I do have to share something that happened last night.

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The kids and I (minus Daughter J., because she was at a friend’s house) had just gotten home from town, had supper, and finished watching The Voice.  We had browsed through some silly TV shows, and somehow or other we got on the topic of Romeo and Juliet.  Now as a former English teacher, I have several variations of R&J in my posession- I have both the DiCaprio-Danes movie version and the Hussey-Whiting version.  I have a side-by-side modern/archaic written version, and I have the Reduced Shakespeare Company (which is absolutely hilarious, btw).  So we decided we’d watch the DiCaprio-Danes movie version of R&J.

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We hunted around and found the DVD and watched it, and The Boy sat there completely absorbed through the whole thing.  He was totally engaged, hardly asked any questions, which made me assume that he understood it, for the most part.  So it was going well, and I was really impressed with him and amazed and proud of him and thinking it was a great educational moment.  Right up until the end, when they died and he cried his little eyes out.  Ooops.

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He jumped up out of his chair, saying “That was so sad!” and threw himself on my lap on the couch, and I was starting to feel like a terrible parent for letting him watch it, knowing his dramatic tendencies, and S. and I were laughing and crying at the same time because we felt so bad for him, but he was so upset it was almost funny, which I know makes zero sense.  So I was shushing and comforting him, and then I tried to explain to him how cool it was that he is smart enough to watch and understand and be moved by something that even some of my freshmen weren’t interested in and didn’t get.  We talked about how even though it was sad, that there were some good things to learn, like how being impetuous and hot-headed can get you in a ton of trouble, among others.  We talked about connections to other things he’s seen, like the R&J quotes used in Twilight: New Moon and in the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast.  (When Belle is teaching the Beast to read, she’s using R&J.)

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So after all that, he was really feeling good about himself and he was proud of what he had learned.  Score!  I was somewhat concerned about some of the definitely un-kid-friendly images in the movie, but unfortunately he’s seen almost all of that before in other movies and games.  (He didn’t watch the honeymoon scene last night, btw.)  And today we watched the Reduced Shakespeare Co. version of it, which is a silly, light, humorous stage interpretation, and he said “Thanks for having me watch that!”  So I think it kind of set it all in perspective for him today- that it’s just a story and it can be seen as simple entertainment.

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So, for better or worse, The Boy has now got a leg up on his future high school peers when it comes to watching R&J in Freshman English.  Overall, I think the experience was more esteem-building than damaging, and if not…well, he’s seeing his counselor today anyway.

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Until next time,

D.

 

Up From Here. Except for the Scale! August 28, 2012

June's multi-colored eyes

This cat kinda looks like I feel!

Hello all.

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Allow me to re-introduce myself.  I am a struggling-with-weight loss, struggling-with-loneliness-and-non-dating, struggling-with-parenting, full-time-working, home-educating, brilliant-but-confused, hot mess.

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Let’s take it from the top, shall we?  I’ve been on a weight loss journey for two years, seven months, and nine days.  My current total loss stands at 116.8, down from an all-time high net loss of 130.6 in June.  I have basically been hovering and bobbing like a cork in the water, weight-wise speaking, for almost this entire calendar year.   Somewhere, I have lost my way.  I have lost my motivation and my drive.  In theory I should congratulate myself on basically maintaining my weight for this long, rather than going into a full-scale retreat and gaining scores of pounds.  But I went to my Weight Watchers meeting tonight, and registered an obscene gain.  Obscene.  I was expecting a gain, but not one that made me want to scream and cuss.  So as of tonight, I am back on track.  I am once again following the WW plan to the letter, even if it kills me.  And it won’t.  I have set new goals and I am going to move forward no matter what.

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Secondly, the struggling with the loneliness and non-dating thing.  This is something that is SUCH a source of confusion and just…being torn.  On one hand, I would really love to find a boyfriend-type person, someone to go out to dinner and a movie with, someone to talk to, someone to hug and kiss on, a little.  I feel like in the dictionary under ‘Needs a Life’ it says ‘See Her.’  BUT.  The kicker is that I usually feel too overwhelmed with all the other stuff I have going on, too busy, too mentally scattered to be in a relationship at this point in my life.  I’ve had one or two minor relationship opportunities/possibilities that have fallen through in the last couple of months, and I have been quite alone in dealing with the disappointment.  But there is also a slight feeling of relief that they never really developed, because I’m not sure I was really ready for them anyway.  And then there’s the question of who am I really looking for and what do I really want in a significant other?  I know you’re thinking, ‘Wait, didn’t we cover this a month ago?’  Well, yeah.  But it’s still on my mind, especially with regard to all the other personality traits, opinions, likes, dislikes, and REALLY dislikes that my 13 Things didn’t cover.  All I know is, I’ve read a LOT of profiles on a major dating site recently.  This could be a whoooole other post, but there are some apparently decent guys out there, and some real wackos, to put it nicely.  So much so that I’m thinking, “Eh.  Dating can wait.  The kids come first.”

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Which leads me directly into the next two points:  1) home-educating is a huge chore, especially when you’re trying to work full time literally at the same time! and 2) getting your High School graduates launched is much more difficult when, despite your half-hearted attempts at trying to do otherwise, they’ve been kept sheltered, coddled, indulged, and allowed to get away with immense amounts of slacker-ness.  I’ve got one daughter I’m trying to get set up with Vocational Rehabilitation services to help her identify and acquire a job that she can do and wants to do, and one daughter who finally at the 11th hour got signed up to take some college classes but still doesn’t have a job and doesn’t drive very much.  All the paperwork, applications, meetings, assessments, etc. is what you might call seriously overwhelming when you’re just one Momma!  (And yes, I could and should delegate some of that responsibility to the slackers-in-question, but haven’t managed to do that yet.)

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So yeah.  Just needed to get all that off my chest.  I was planning to start a new blog about our home-schooling adventures, but haven’t really got the kinks worked out yet.  Stay tuned for that.  Alternate titles I considered for tonight’s post were “If You’re Not in the Mood for Debbie Downer, Skip This One” and “In the Dictionary Under ‘Overwhelmed’…”  but I decided it was best to go with the positive.  Stay with me- it can only go up from here!

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Until next time,

D.

 

Yes, In Fact I WAS Kidnapped By Aliens, and I Just Got Back Into Town! March 19, 2012

Icon from Nuvola icon theme for KDE 3.x.

Icon from Nuvola icon theme for KDE 3.x. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello all!  I absolutely cannot believe that in my last post I asked you to watch for my upcoming post that would continue my tradition of a New-Year themed post, identifying a theme for the year, looking back, looking forward, that kind of thing, and y’all… that’s been THREE MONTHS ago!!!  Is is just me, or does life get away from us?  (That doesn’t sound nearly as good an explanation or excuse as the alien thing, does it?)

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I mean, it’s not like I had anything really new and exciting to share.  Things are the same.  The job, the kids, plans for the cruise- all those are going fine.  Well, not completely.  There are still times when I worry about The Boy, and all the fabulous choices he makes at school, like not doing his work, talking back to his teacher, and threatening immediate violence against any kid who peeves him off.  And there are times when I worry about Daughter J., and what she’ll be able to do in life with her developmental delays and difficulties, and what is the best choice for her.  And I worry about Daughter S., who has amazing talents and abilities, but no real idea of where she wants to go or what she wants to do, and little or no confidence in her amazing-ness.  Raising kids!  Who knew?  I look back to when I was growing up, and all I wanted to do was sing and be a mom.  I didn’t really think about a “real world” career or exactly what you sign up for when you bring those little beasties home from the hospital.  But the reality is, I’m not responsible for what they make of their lives.  I am responsible for giving them the tools to make something.  I can’t manipulate the universe so that they will be happy, or successful, or any of that.  All I can do is show them how to live on their own and function in society, and then it’s all in their hands.  They have to choose their paths and then walk them.  I can set them an example, but I can’t make them become what I want them to be, or what I think they should be.  That’s what you might call Tough To Take.

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The battle continues as well in other aspects of my life that I’ve talked about previously- the weight loss/fitness thing, for example.  I have hit a rough patch.  I have become somehow complacent or something, and I cannot seem to maintain consistency in my efforts for more than a week at a time.  I do really well on Weight Watchers for a week and then I slack off.  Then I get mad and try to get tough again, and I lose weight that week and slack off again.  And so it goes.  I have been gaining and losing in the same 5lb range for literally months now, bobbing like a cork in the water.  I participated in a fitness challenge at the gym where my sister is a fitness instructor, and in 8 weeks I only lost 5 lbs and 0.78 percent body fat.  Not really the result I wanted to have, but it was nobody’s fault but mine.  My motivation wasn’t what it should have been going into it.  Timing did play a small role, as I was recovering from a dislocated kneecap when the challenge started, and I was afraid to push myself with exercise.  But still, I just didn’t throw my heart and soul into it like I could have.

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I’m still fighting, though.  Still going to Weight Watchers meetings, and I have just recently recommitted to the whole exercise thing.  I slacked off going to Turbo classes right about the time I switched jobs (end of October!) and just last week started back full time.  I am trying NOT to stress about the fact that I bought a gorgeous, beautiful, dreamy yellow dress to wear on formal night on the cruise, and I cannot actually wear it yet, and the cruise is now 69 days away.   But I am, as I said, recommitting my efforts to healthy eating and exercise, and hopefully in the next 10 weeks I can get my act together.

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So I guess that’s a wrap for now.  I definitely plan on improving the frequency with which I update here, but because of various computer/internet issues at home, I can only do that when I’m not busy at work.  It’s been so long since I updated, I didn’t even realize they had changed the layout for the ‘New Post’ screen, and may I just say… not loving it!  But.  We shall overcome, as always, and this too shall pass, and stiff upper lip, pip pip tally ho, cuppa sugar and all that.  Peace out, Peeps!

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Until next time,

D.

 

ETA:  I do not know WHAT screen I was in initally, but I pushed a button, thought I lost the whole post, and then found the place I’d always added posts from before, so Pay No Attention to that last paragraph.  It was post-traumatic stress from the alien encounter!

Later!

 

Night and Day, and the Difference Between the Two November 17, 2011

Compact Disc

Image via Wikipedia

Hello all!  Yes, I realize it’s been a dog’s age since I updated.  I apologize.  Really.  Things are so different now than they had been at the time of my last few posts.  Some things are better, some not so better, but right now I am on an upward spike in the old mood graph, so let’s just go with that, shall we?  The biggest, most awesome news  is that I escaped from my job!  Yes, Virginia, I actually broke free of the cult-like pull of a place I had been for 10 years and took a step in a new and different direction, and it’s not even teaching high school English!  The new job is kind of in a field all it’s own.  You could call it ministry, you could call it television/radio broadcasting, but basically I am the new secretary for an evangelistic tv program called The Gospel of Christ.  It is under the supervision of the elders at one of the churches of Christ here.  I have a wide range of duties, including your usual secretary stuff, answering phones, taking messages, but in addition to that, I package and ship all the CDs and DVDs that go out, I enter donations received and pay the bills and do payroll and taxes, I order supplies, I send the media to our tv and radio stations, I burn the discs from new master recordings, design and print the disc labels, send out supporter letters, etc.

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So yeah, it’s definitely a departure from the Trained Monkey world I was in before.  And best of all… no crazy co-worker who hates me!  I’m in a Christian environment, with people who are young and energetic and passionate about what they are doing.  I’m learning new things that challenge my brain, and I am literally working for God!  It’s pretty awesome.

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Despite its numerous advantages though, there are a few drawbacks, extremely minor in nature.  I’m now putting the same number of work hours per week into 5 days instead of 6, plus I am still at my old job on Saturdays through the end of the year.  That means I have to be at work earlier in the day, which has rather wrought havoc with my exercise schedule.  I have dropped out of TurboKick class for a month or two because I am trying to get caught up on bills while also saving money for the girls’ birthday and Christmas.  In addition to that, the pay raise looks great on paper, but only resulted in about a $50 per paycheck increase in my net pay.  Not what I was hoping for, but it will do for now.  (I expect that when things settle down around here after the transition, they will realize they can afford to give me a substantial raise.)  The major negative about this job is that it does involve a lot of sitting on my caboose, which was not something I got to do very often at my old job.  This in turn makes me worry about the likelihood that my caboose will notice an increase in mass and volume, translating to an increase in size, which will make me very unhappy.  More on that in a minute.  Another drawback is that certain relationships at my old work, long and generally amiable relationships, have, I fear, suffered irreparable damage by my leaving and the timing of it all.  Coming up on Christmas in the pack and ship business, it’s kind of a kick in the teeth to a boss you’ve worked for, for more than 10 years, to suddenly take a new job on only a week’s notice. (But in all fairness, it was a now or never kind of thing.)  Worse, I’m no longer as close as I was to the few people there I did like, and worst, I was left out of a raise that was given to everybody else the week after I stopped being there full time, even though I’m still working Saturdays through the rest of the year.  That hurt, let me tell ya. I still haven’t had a talk with the boss about that one, but will hopefully have a chance to do so while I’m there this Saturday.

*

All in all, though, it has been a change for the better, I think.  I don’t know what to expect about how long I will be here or where this will take me, but I am hoping that eventually it might become a part-time job that I do in addition to being a Weight Watchers leader and writer.  I have continued to attend Weight Watchers meetings, even though I honestly feel I have been sort of “phoning it in” for a while now.  By that I mean I haven’t really, truly dedicated myself to staying on Plan, but have been eating almost whatever I want, not counting the points, and depending on the 4x a week Turbo classes to keep me out of trouble.  I realized with a significant degree of dismay that this was not going to work for me any longer when I dropped out of turbo and gained weight two weeks in a row!  (By the way, I know only two weeks ago I was all fired up about Simply Recommitting and getting back on track with WW, but unfortunately I had not been able to make it happen until this week.)

*

In case anybody was wondering when I was going to get around to it, the title of this post is a figurative reference both to how much happier I am at this new job versus where I was before, and also the difference a little extra motion makes in my weight loss journey.  But I am actually trying to look at this short break from Turbo as a good time to get back to essentials on the WW plan.  I want to really re-familiarize myself with the PointsPlus values of foods so that the overall picture stays clear in my head.  That probably makes absolutely no sense to anybody.  But the title is also referring to the difference between yesterday and today for me, because yesterday was one of those days that I think we all have every now and then (I hope to goodness I’m not the only one!) where we just sort of hate ourselves and our lives and everything we own!  That sounds pretty extreme, but in all honesty, The Boy and his twins sisters have been driving me berserk lately with their constant bickering and fussing, their complete lack of motivation to be much help around the house, and their entitled attitude in general.   In addition to that, my car kept dying when I was taking the kids to school, I couldn’t find any decent clothes to wear, and I had lost my temper with The Boy before we even left the house.

*

Today, on the other hand, I’ve been in a great mood, didn’t mind my clothes (or lack thereof), the car didn’t die, and I got the kids out of the house and taken to school without any major breakdowns!  Furthermore, today at work has been a lot of fun, what with the guys trying to re-build and decorate the studio set and a few other goofy mishaps, and I’ve stayed on plan with WW, so it’s just been a much better day than tomorrow.  And isn’t that always a blessing?!

*

Until next time,

D.

 

 

 

 
The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

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Mostly Bright Ideas

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Princess Nebraska

If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. If would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in a cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it. -Frances Hodgson Burnett

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Our Little Geekling

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Writing Finger

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An Unexplored Wilderness

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