The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Some Done Deals, and the Peace They Bring! May 3, 2013

Thinking

Thinking (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn)

Hello all!  You know what just irks me?  Feeling the need and desire to write, but not knowing what to say.  That happens to me very frequently.  I’ll be just… in that mood.  If you consider yourself a writer at all, even an amateur, you know the one.  For me it’s that I just feel like writing, like I just need to write, RIGHT NOW.  Forget the fact that I may or may not have anything particularly significant to talk about, as long as I’m getting the chatter that’s in my head relocated to the paper or the screen.  It probably doesn’t help that I don’t craft posts ahead of time and save them in organized draft folders for posting at a later, more appropriate time, as some of the bloggers I’ve read apparently do.  I post when I have something on my mind AND I have time to devote to it.  This is probably the reason I often have ideas for posts that never get written.  Things pop into my head, and I’ll think, “Man, that would be a good thing to blog about.  I should write that down.” But then I don’t, and by the time I have a good stretch of time to sit down and write, I’m all “What was that I wanted to write about, again?”  I should definitely work on that.

*

Right now I’m all hyped up because after weeks of indecision and dithering, I am tickled to announce that I have booked my flights for my trip to Charleston!  Yay, me!  I am so excited about this.  I know I have gone back and forth, worried incessantly, and probably driven everyone I know stark raving mad, but now that it’s a done deal, I am so happy.  Part of me is still a little concerned about the whole ‘fitting in’ thing.  I feel like I’m older and at a different stage of life than a lot of these amazing bloggers I will be meeting.  Many of them are writing about their babies and nap schedules and nursing problems and sleeping through the night, and terrible twos and kindergarten schedules, and I’m thinking, ‘Boy, could I have been the queen of this world if they’d had this stuff when the girls were little!’  But alas, they didn’t.  So now I have twin girls who are almost 20 years old, and a boy who will be 12 on Monday, and sometimes I’m wondering what I have to offer.  I don’t really have too many Raising Twins cautionary tales or horror stories, unless it’s about what to do when one of your twins literally hates the other one, or when your son is almost universally looked upon as being either the next Jim Carrey/Robin Williams or a future school shooter, and which one he becomes is entirely dependent upon you and your parenting.  That’s a scary-as-heck place to be, I can promise you.

*

Anyway, I do realize that there are bloggers of all ages, in all life stages, with all kinds of stories, who will be at this event, and I am so very much looking forward to the adventure and the journey of being a part of it.  I am a little torn between tempering my expectations so that if I don’t find at least one or two people who become fairly good friends I will not be terribly disappointed, and having faith that this is going to be the best, most amazing thing I have done thus far in life and it will result in some wonderful friendships.  I think I’m going to do with the latter, as that seems to have been the experience of many of those who have attended in previous years.  If nothing else, I am excited that it will be the first time I have just branched out on my own and done something for myself, by myself.  (Except for having someone drive me to and from the airport, which my mom has always been willing to do for me, thank goodness.)

*

So, more about my son.  He started out in public school in our local district, but he has never really done well.  He has struggled both academically and socially.  We’ve had him tested at every turn, and he has some non-specified processing difficulties, as well as a diagnosis of ADHD.  He also seems to have some Asperger-y traits, but has never been diagnosed with that.  He was in 4th grade last year in public school, and we have been “homeschooling” this year.  I put that in quotes because while we started out with a very structured, organized system at the beginning of the school year through online public school, we pulled out of that after about six weeks, and have been taking a different approach since then.  We have just explored different things that he really loves, and I have tried to teach him some real-world skills that he will need in the future, but there has been very little structure or consistency.   I have really beaten myself up about this.  But he has grown so much, matured in a lot of ways, and I think more than anything, he has really benefitted from just being out from under pressure.  He has spent a lot of time with me, coming to work with me most days since I am blessed with a flexible job as a church secretary, and I think it has been what he needed.  Our lives for the several years leading up to this year have been marked by change, tragedy, and chaos, and I don’t think he handled it very well.

*

Thankfully, I think that is largely behind us!  This week, I found an educational option that I think offers the best of both worlds- the self-pace and lower pressure of homeschooling with a little more of the structure and consistency found in the public school environment than I have been able to offer him while trying to work full time simultaneously.  It’s a small private Christian school here that is basically a group homeschool, but the beauty is that it’s NOT I who is responsible for the teaching and structure.  It’s a little pricey for what it is- they want $230 per month, and if I didn’t think it would be incredibly presumptuous, I’d ask friends and family for “sponsors.”  But I think it is do-able for me, whether I get help or not, so I am very happy and excited for both of us.  Honestly I will miss him coming to work with me, but this will be so much better for him- he will get the education he needs in an environment that fits him.

*

I could go on and on about this, but this post is already longer than usual.  I’ll just say that for now- I am happy, the stars are aligned, and everything’s coming up roses, and I won’t even make a remark about ducking under my desk to avoid the Other Shoe Dropping.  Oops.  Scratch that.

*

Until next time,

D.

 

My Funny, Rotten Little Boy…and Other Topics May 27, 2010

Hello all.  Today was the last day of school (Hallelujah)!  I took the kids to school and went to The Boy’s awards assembly.  He got an art award that he wasn’t expecting and when he got it, he gave this big goofy grin, and a girl I graduated with who happened to be sitting behind me leaned down and asked, “Does anyone ever tell you he looks like Jim Carrey?”  And I said, “All the TIME!”  It was soooo funny!

He’s been on a roll lately.  Yesterday I was driving them to school and The Boy and Daughter J. were fussing in the back seat.  I reached back over the seat and swatted him on the leg.  You know what he said?  “Ouch. (beat)  Both hands on the wheel!” 

Then that night we were in church, and it was singing night.  On the last Wednesday night of every month we have a singing night where we learn and practice new songs.  We were singing a song called “I Am A Sheep.”  You know, ‘I am a sheep and the Lord is my Shepherd’ kind of song.  The Boy was sitting in front of me and my mom.  Daughter S. was sitting with him and Daughter J was beside me.  We were singing the song, and all of a sudden I saw S. lunge at him and get him in a sort of headlock with her hand over his mouth.  I leaned forward to see what the deal was, just in time to see him pull her hand down from over his mouth, and let out a tiny sheep noise! (baaaaah!)  I scolded him and told him to stop, but Daughter S, Mom, and I all got the giggles, and I was the last one to get over them!

I let Daughter S. drive (!) the back roads from church to Mom’s house last night, the same route that was my earliest driving experience.  She did very well.  Driver’s Ed starts for her in a few weeks.  On the way home, it was so sweet- they were listening to ‘I See You’ from Avatar, and The Boy was singing along with his sisters.  He almost never sings, but when he does, it blows my mind, because he can actually sing really well!  He sounded so sweet last night singing that song:  “I see me through your eyes…your love shines the way into paradise, so I offer my life as a sacrifice.”

I finally talked to RMB tonight after not hearing from him all day yesterday.  I went over to his house for a while.  We watched Terry Fator: Live From Las Vegas.   He is such an amazing entertainer.  I still feel pretty annoyed with RMB for not contacting me all day yesterday, just because he was in a bummed out bad mood and couldn’t deal with it.  But I guess I felt the same way or I would have called him sooner.

Anyway, I’m really glad school’s out, and I’m looking forward to the summer.  Our family reunion is next weekend.  My mom got sad last night at church because we sang a song called “The Family Of God.”  It was a song that my grandfather and his brother and sisters always sang together at previous reunions, and now Grandpa is the last one living.  They had such beautiful family harmony together.  My kids wanted to sing a song at the reunion.  They wanted to sing “Long Black Train” by Josh Turner, but Daughter J. will not be there because her church camp session begins on Sunday and I wouldn’t be able to take her to camp until Monday if she goes to the reunion.  She’s staying the weekend with some people from church and they are taking her to camp with their daughter.  So she won’t be there, and I really don’t want to sing it without her.  We’ll see. 

Well, it’s time for bed.  We’re watching Avatar yet again, and it’s nearly over.  Things to do tomorrow, including work, but mostly sleeping in!  Woo Hooo!  Yay for Summer! 

Until next time,

D.

 

This Kid Makes the Energizer Bunny Feel Tired! May 15, 2010

Hello all.  I think this post needs to be dedicated to my son, the comedian.  Let’s see.  What has he said in the last three hours that has made me laugh like a hyena? 

Well first of all, he’s been running around the house all evening.  Daughter S. and I have been watching a movie, and most of the time we’ve been doing this, The Boy has been running.  Just running.  Like Forrest Gump.  All over the house.  From the front door to the back door, from the laundry room to the hall, from the bedroom to the couch.  At one point he hid behind one corner and said, “Hey, Mom- am I moving so fast you can’t even see me?”  My attention was engaged in the movie at the time, and I said “Huh?” (I know, brilliant, right?) And he said, “Really watch me this time!  I’m moving so fast you can’t even see me!”  And then he made another circuit through the front half of the house.  He came up and stood in front of my chair, lifted his shirt, flashed his belly at me, (His newly chubby belly instead of his deathly concave, all-ribcage belly, thanks to changing ADHD med!)  and asked, “Does it look like I’ve losed-ed weight?”  I said. “Is that why you’re running?” And he said, “Yeah, Mom, cause I need exercise!  I gotta lose weight and get my muscles back!” 

Then he climbed up on my lap and put his head on my chest and I rubbed my hand over his hair and he asked, “Is my hair all covered with sweat-ness?”  So I said, “Yeah, you need to take a bath.”  His response?  “Why?  The bathtub is full of stuff and the shower’s probably hairy.”

Then he climbed down and took off again, and at a later point in the evening, he was in the living room floor doing push-ups!   And he stopped and said, “Uh-oh, I’m getting too strong.  I gotta stop, ’cause when I get too strong, the blue line pops out, and it runs from there to there, (pointing to his inner arm) and when the blue line pops out you’re getting too strong.  And I don’t wanna get such big muscles I can’t even reach up and scratch my head!”  I said, “I don’t think anybody gets that big of muscles.”  And he said, “Uh-HUH!  On tv!  Like on Fairly OddParents!” (Referring to a cartoon character styled after Arnold Schwarzenegger).

Then he jumped down and took off again.  Later I asked him to hand me my purse or something, and he said, “I can’t- I have little tiny arms like a T-Rex!”  Then he bent his arms at his chest where his hands were only a couple of inches from his chest and waved them frantically, saying “Aaaauuuhhh, I’m a tiny-armed T-Rex!”

A few minutes ago he had found some purple vampire teeth and was lurching around growling and hissing at us, and he crawled up beside my chair and said, “I’m a werewolf, but I’m a good werewolf, and I want to be petted!”  Now the Tiny Armed T-Rex is riding the arm of the couch, using MY pillow as a saddle, watching Daughter S. play Avatar on the PS3, talking about ‘banshees, ikrans, and battling the RDA against the Na’vi.’  I’m not sure, but I think it’s time to break out the Benedryl if he’s ever going to get to sleep! 

Gotta love living with this kid- Half Jim Carrey, half Energizer Bunny!

Until next time,

D.

 

Campfire Camp, The Next Jim Carrey, and a Penguin Huddle! April 30, 2010

Hello all.  I have no plan for this post, so it may go nowhere fast.  The one thing I wanted to share was something my hilariously funny Daughter S. said the other day.  We were in the grocery store, and the kids were already chilled because I had the AC up too high in the car or something.  We’re in produce.  I stop to try to decide what kind of apples to buy, and all three of the kids cluster around me in an effort to keep warm!  Daughter S. lays her head on my chest and says, in her best silly-happy voice, “Penguin huddle!”  I laughed, and she explained that penguins really do this.   So I grab the apples and start walking, and she follows after me, still all scrunched in on herself like she’s still in the huddle and walking like a penguin, and says, “Wait, WAIT!  Penguins can’t huddle that fast!”  I had to stop then, because I was doubled over laughing.

Last night we had a family counseling session with the kids’ counselor.  (I don’t have a cool nickname for her yet.  She and The Golden Goddess are sort of a team.)  Anyway.  Last time we met, one of The Boy’s assignments, to help satisfy his need for attention and release his desperate overstock of energy, was to put together a One-Man Show and perform it for us.  So we failed to get that done, and he was quick to inform Ms. K. that we “forgot the Jim Carrey thing.”  See, our counselors think he is so funny and so excellent at making goofy faces, that he is totally going to be the next Jim Carrey.  They tell him that all the time.  They even think he looks like Jim, but he’s not related.  I promise.  He’s just a really good mimic.  I am under strict orders to contact the local theater about summer acting classes so he’ll have An Outlet.  I will probably get beaten if I forget to do this.

I can’t think of anything Daughter J. has done recently that was funny.  She’s in that stage where all she seems to be able to do is mutter under her breath, glare, roll her eyes, slam doors, and stomp huffily from the room when someone makes the mistake of asking her a question.  It’s getting quite old, and I’m beginning to be concerned that she will never mature past it. 

Hopefully this weekend will be good, though!  Two out of three of my little Crumb Crunching Curtain Climbing House Apes will be out of the house almost all weekend!  Daughter J. and The Boy are going to Campfire camp!  My mother, the crazy, insane glutton-for-punishment Campfire leader, is going to be out at the group camp at Lake Murray with my kids and the rest, hiking, canoeing, arts-and-crafts-ing, and ‘WoHeLo-ing’ until her eyeballs fall out!  Daughter S. and I will be sitting at home, watching rented movies and enjoying the calm.  Mwahahahahahaha!

Until next time,

D. 

PS- As soon as possible, I will scan and post Daughter S.’s cartoon she drew the other day.  I laughed so hard I thought I’d wet myself.  She’s gifted, that’s all there is to it.

 

 
The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

Broadside

Smart and surprising

Mostly Bright Ideas

Some of these thoughts may make sense. But don't count on it.

Mad Scientist.Crazy Mom

Welcome to my laboratory: five kids on a farm

A Clean Surface.

simplicity, organization, inspiration, minimalism, humor...and reality

Princess Nebraska

If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. If would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in a cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it. -Frances Hodgson Burnett

She Likes Purple

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Crazy with a side of Awesome Sauce

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

musings of a madwoman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Glam-O-Mommy

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

happily ever me

a life in progress

Our Little Geekling

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." - Helen Keller

mighty maggie

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Writing Finger

Translations of Poetry from Galician and Spanish into English

The Better Man Project ™

a journey into the depths

An Unexplored Wilderness

A writer's journey