The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Making Friends Who Disagree With You (is the healthiest thing in the world) May 16, 2013

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Hello all! I am sharing this because I think it is true and correct and extremely important in this world where suddenly disagreement = hate and dissention = judgment and the way people form their world views is limited to listening only to those who agree with them. This woman is so worth reading! I have a lot of other things on my mind, but for now, enjoy!
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Until next time,
D.

Shaunanagins

I did not expect this to be the most life-changing part of my semester in Washington DC.

When I first left, I thought the biggest impact would be academic–the Smithsonian, Library of Congress, Museum volunteering.  Either that, or my health would improve with the balance and space.  Or maybe I would meet a tall, dark, handsome American man and run away to Hawaii with a green card.

Not quite.

There was an academic impact, of course. A huge one.  And, yes, my spiritual, emotional and physical health is in decent form.  I am also currently acquainted with many tall/dark/handsome American menfolk (‘sup, gents?), though I certainly won’t be marrying into a green card anytime soon.

But none of these things are at the top of my report back to Canada.  Instead, I have been pouring out stories and joy regarding one overwhelming, unexpected gift: While in DC, Ibecame close…

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ValJean, Javert, O’Hara, and Me April 24, 2013

Hello all!  I have needed, I mean literally needed to write a post here for so long, and I just haven’t been able to find a moment.  I don’t have a way to blog at home in the evenings.  Our family laptop is painfully slow, and also always being hogged by one of the kids.  I know it makes me sound like a Slacker Extraordinaire, but I usually write my blog posts at work.  When you’re a church secretary who basically gets paid to sit by a phone that rarely rings, you can do that.  The bad part is that all the things I have needed and wanted to write about have sort of fallen by the wayside.  I wanted to do the A to Z blogging challenge, NaPoWriMo, etc.  I wanted to talk about the bombings and explosions, and loving oneself and loving humanity and like, God and religion and tragedy and survival and all those things that swirl in our collective head when our lives are disrupted by ugliness and accidents.  But when I finally have a moment and sit down to try to write about it all, I just can’t think what I wanted to say about it.  Or I feel everything’s been said and I don’t have anything worth adding, or maybe I deal with certain kinds of things by just blocking them out of my head.

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Or maybe I’m just a remarkably selfish individual, because the things that are filling the space in my head right now are as follows:

First of all is Les Miserables.  (Sorry I can’t do the little punctuation marks in the right places.)  So right now I am obsessed with Les Mis.  I rented the movie the other night and have watched it about 3 times.  I downloaded the 40-song soundtrack on iTunes and have listened to it incessantly ever since, and to top all that off, my local Little Theatre group is putting on LM this summer.  I would love to audition for a part, but I realize I don’t have enough experience for that.  No experience at all, actually.  Therefore, I am thinking of auditioning for the chorus.  (Ok, I am going to audition for the chorus if I can find a really good song to use for my audition. I’ve blown about ten bucks on iTunes instrumental tracks of different songs I could audition with.) I can think of nothing else!  I have been reading the novel, looking at the SparkNotes info on the novel, reading about the June Rebellion and the whole barricade thing, just obsessing in general.  I don’t know why.  I have realized that there is so much more story than the movie could have included, and even reading the small part of the novel that I have read thus far, it’s just so much more tragic!  I just feel I have to keep reading and thinking about this book until I find out why it is just sort of taking root in me so completely.

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The other thing is The Blathering.  The trip to Charleston in October that I think about every single day.  I check flight prices every day.  I read Twitter every day looking for other writers mentioning it.  I dither and vacillate back and forth on whether I should really go, whether it’s a selfish and ridiculous expense, whether I’ll have fun and make friends.  I think about how much I’d love to lose more weight before the trip, but how every stinking day is a struggle not to put the wrong things in my my mouth and thoroughly defeat that goal, and how I have absolutely GOT to learn to love myself and develop a style and rock my look no matter what.  I think about how maybe I should be planning the tours I want to take and the plantations I want to see, but what if I don’t find anybody who wants to do those things with me?   Or what if the planned group events  take up all the time that I’m there and I don’t actually get to see anything but the resort and the airport shuttle?  I think about how I really want to ask all these questions and find fellow early-planners on Twitter and Facebook but feel like it’s too early to be obsessing over these things, and most people probably won’t even know their plans for a few more months yet.  (Maybe next year I should help organize!  That would put my pre-planning obsessive skills to good use.)

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So anyway.  I have plenty of other things that I continue to worry about, that as I told a friend the other night, are the usual things that decorate the hamster wheel that is my life.   Many things that I need to make decisions about and then follow through and be at peace with, many things that I need to just determine and do, so to speak.  But now is not the time.  Luckily for my dear, devoted readers, as Scarlett O’Hara said, tomorrow is (another post and) another day!

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Until next time,

D.

 

What I Learned From WD40 March 4, 2013

Tensioner in place on a model year 1999 7.4L a...

Tensioner in place on a model year 1999 7.4L automotive engine, tensioning the serpentine belt. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello all.  Something happened the other day that got me thinking.  Now I realize that me thinking is more often than not a dangerous proposition, but just go with it.  So in an effort to be all independent and self-sufficient and grown up and stuff, I decided to fix a problem without asking for help from anybody.  I had a squeak in my car engine.  I had a squeaky belt.  I had a squeaky serpentine belt.  And what, boys and girls, do we do when something squeaks?  By golly, we squirt that sucker with WD40!  I had bought some not long ago for the purpose of de-squeaking the bedroom and bathroom doors, and the garage door, and…ok, don’t laugh, but some stupid thing I saw on Facebook said something about using it to keep the bathroom mirrors from fogging over.

 

 

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So anyway.  I was getting ready to leave for work and I thought it would be an opportune moment to de-squeakify the belt on my car.  I sprayed the belt and all the various little pulleys until I didn’t hear anymore squeaks, and suddenly, there was a clank and a thunk and there was the belt, wound around the motor mount, having slipped right off its little wheel.  (Which is also my current mental state, in case you’re interested.)

 

 

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I called my dad, who didn’t think he could do anything about it and called the shop for me.  I was pretty aggravated about the whole thing of course, because it seems like there is ALWAYS something going on with my car, and I’ve already put quite a bit of money into it, and I really didn’t want to have to throw away any more!  To that end, I talked to someone who volunteers at my church, a lovable old coot who thinks he can do anything.  He was convinced he could fix it and save me some money.  Well, long story short, it turned out he couldn’t.  I ended up taking it to the shop, and it’s still there.  They’re also installing the new headlights I bought on Amazon the other day.

 

 

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But the whole thing got me thinking.  It all happened because I was trying to be grown up, self-sufficient, and independent.  Read:  I didn’t want to have to ask my dad what to do about a squeaky engine belt, and I figured WD40 is good for that.  But really, what’s wrong with getting help?  What’s wrong with asking for help?  Where did I get the idea that being a grown-up means you never need anybody?  Is it such a bad thing in today’s society to be dependent upon others?  So I thought about it, and I decided that maybe the idea came from how I felt through several years of receiving food stamps, state medical coverage for the kids, etc.   I always felt a sense of shame about it, always overhearing comments and perceiving peoples’ attitudes.  On a similar note, I also have a lot of conflicting emotions when I find myself wishing I had a man in my life and then feeling a vague, feminist guilt for not being completely thrilled and content being on my own.

 

 

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But the thing is, I think sometimes people have the same conflict about God.  We need Him, but for some weird reason, we don’t want to.  We forget that it’s ok to need God.  That it’s not a bad thing to pray, to ask God for what we need, what we want… thanks to a little cultural indoctrination, we have internalized this idea that it’s a really bad thing to need help, that to be a woman, an adult, we have to do things on our own, to figure things out on our own.   But thanks to a little injudicious use of WD40 and a tendency toward stubbornness,  I was able to learn a little something.  Being an independent, self-sufficient adult does not mean we will never need help.  We will always need our parents and our friends and family, and there is nothing wrong with that.  And we will definitely always need God, and that is the way it’s supposed to be.

 

 

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Until next time,

 

 

D.

 

 

 

A New Creature February 1, 2013

Hello all.  You know what I love?  Helping people.  Encouraging people.  Always have, always will.  I’m a cheerleader at heart.  I’m guessing there have been plenty of occasions where I have failed spectacularly at encouraging the people around me at the moment they needed it most, but there is not much I love more than trying to pump people up and help them have faith in themselves.  I realize this proclamation comes totally at odds with my last few posts wherein it has probably seemed like I loved nothing more than making like a younger Maxine comic, grouching like an old bulldog about every topic that comes up.  And it is definitely true that I can be a Negative Nancy at times.  But overall I hope I am more of an encourager than a bring-er down-er.

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I got on Fb last night and saw where a few people from my town were posting about how they were embarrassed for our town and our state by the poor performance of a local girl who auditioned for a certain talent search reality show.  At first I was really angry.  (Which is usually the first indication that a severe case of ‘Open mouth, Insert foot’ is about to occur!)  I could just imagine how that girl would feel when she saw all those comments.  I thought about how disappointed she would already have been in the outcome and how that would be compounded and magnified by the lack of support she received from people in her own hometown.  I had not watched the show at this point, and I had trouble believing how self-centered and snarky people could be in witnessing this girl’s very public failure and then making it all about how it made them feel.  Then I watched the show, and saw that this girl was definitely not a gifted performer.  Or if she had any performing ability whatsoever, her nerves overshadowed them completely.  But not only that, she told the judges that God had told her to audition, which of course made her even more the object of ridicule.  I posted what I saw as a defense of this girl and an admonition against such hatefulness as I had seen displayed.  And then I got really angry, not just for this girl, but for all Christians.

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I mentioned in my last post that one of the things that makes me unhappy in my life right now is that I feel I should be doing more to share my beliefs, to stand up for what I believe in and try to help others believe it too.  I don’t know that I’ve ever really done that, as it applies to my religious beliefs.  I’ve shared my enthusiasm for TV shows and movies, songs, books, foods, even exercise programs, but I’ve rarely if ever said, “This is what I believe and here’s why.”  I’ve often copped out and said “Well, I don’t know what I believe.  I’m not sure.  I’m searching, I’m seeking, I’m questioning.”  And sometimes it’s because some of the things that are being preached to me are things that I struggle with accepting, myself, and so don’t feel comfortable trying to convince other people.  And very, VERY rarely, I have tiny, brief moments where I wonder, “What if it’s all just nonsense?”

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But then I decide that I believe God exists.  I believe Jesus existed and was who He claimed to be.  I believe we should worship.  I believe in a Judgement Day and eternity in Heaven or Hell.  But here’s where it gets so dicey for me.  I believe in baptism, immersion in water, for salvation.  I believe that there are some denominations and religions that are completely wrong and that you can’t be in them and be saved.  I believe that if you do what the Bible says, you will go to Heaven, but the trouble is that a lot of groups of people who are doing different things all believe that they ARE doing what the Bible says.  How can they all be doing something different and all be doing what the Bible says?   Jesus built one church.  If you’re not in that church, you’re lost.  That is what I see and hear every single day at my job.  Regarding specific issues, there are a few things that they would call “sinful” that I really struggle with believing are sin, such as using instrumental music in worship, or even listening to “praise and worship” music that uses instruments, clapping hands, etc.  Then there are other issues that I believe they are right about and I’m ok with what I’ve been taught:  the leadership structure of the church, roles of men and women, communion, adultery and fornication, homosexuality, and even, I’m sorry to say, divorce and remarriage.  As much as I’d like to argue the point, I’ve read enough Scripture now to be convinced that my second marriage was not scriptural because I did not divorce my first husband for the reason of unfaithfulness or sexual immorality, and that I am not eligible to remarry until both of my former spouses are dead, if ever.  (Obviously, I really struggle with this one, as well.  Not really thrilled about spending the rest of my life alone.  Some folks say life’s too short, but for me Eternity is too long.)  I will continue to study on these issues and search the Scriptures daily like the Bereans did, but for now, this is where I stand.

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And I’ve basically lost sight of where I was going with this, but I think that I admire people who have the guts to just state what they believe, whether it brings them ridicule or praise.  I admire people who have the courage to live by their beliefs.  It makes me sad that my adult life has been shaped by a theme of my wants and desires having overridden my beliefs and thus caused my actions, my decisions, my choices.  I’ve been supposed to be a Christian since I was in 7th grade, but I have never really lived like it.  I’ve never been strong enough to live like I knew I should, to publically condemn what I believe to be wrong, and to abstain from it, myself.  But I think I’m going to make it my goal this year and from now on, to walk the walk that matches my talk, no matter what it is.  If I believe that it’s wrong to use bad language, then I can’t only abstain from using it, I have to abstain from watching movies and TV that contains it.  If I believe that certain sexual relationships are wrong, then I can’t condone books, TV, or movies that contain them.  All I can say is I’m going to try.

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Until next time,

D.

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[EDIT:  Correction to the above.  I’ve changed my thoughts on the above topic and I now know that a)my first divorce was scriptural.  I know why I went ahead and divorced;  b)my second divorce was scriptural, but some people would dispute that.  Therefore, my conclusion is that I can, in fact, remarry, but I have decided that I will not choose to do so until after Hubby # 2 (hereafter referred to as Old Track Shoes because of how he left, made tracks, as it were, and refused to return) has kicked the bucket.  Not that I have to worry about it really, because I have absolutely zero prospects at the present time. :)]

 

Some Thoughts Arising From Recent Events December 17, 2012

Filed under: General Observations — DDKlingonGirl @ 3:45 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Hello all.  I wanted to share and express my thoughts and feelings about the Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting, but the odds are pretty good that what I’d say has already been said, and said better.  No amount of poetic words, political posturing, so-called expert opinions, debating, arguing, name-calling, or any other pointless reaction will change what has been done.  It seems to me that incidents like this bring up three main talking points:  guns and gun laws, mental health and the social and health care systems pertaining to it, and religion or lack thereof in today’s world.

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I’m not a gun enthusiast, nor a politician.  I know next to nothing about guns, rights to own guns, or laws governing them.  For my two cents, I think that Americans cannot, nor should not, be expected to give up their right to bear arms.  That much is certain.  But there are certain guns that just do not need to be available to anyone except trained military or police personnel.  They need to be outlawed.  Period.  I’m not saying that if they had already been outlawed, that any of the recent tragedies could have been prevented, but I still think they should not be in the hands of just anyone.

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On the other hand, I don’t believe that it would be a good idea for everybody on the street to be carrying a weapon.  For example, I have heard people put forth the theory that if someone in the Aurora movie theater would have been carrying a gun, they could have stopped the shooter much sooner in his rampage and saved lives.  But if half the people present had been armed, what would have happened when that guy burst through the door?  I think it is most likely that in all the fear and confusion, an all-out gun war would have erupted and probably more people would have died.   What’s the solution?  Maybe owning a weapon is a right, but carrying it on your person when not engaged in hunting or overthrowing a despotic government should not be?  As I said, I don’t have a clue.  I’m just thinking out loud here.

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Now, about the mental health issues and the health care and social systems.  That one is way too hard to even get into, and way too close to home for me.   There are so many people out there with mental health problems, and it is an overwhelming problem when there are too few social workers, too few therapists, too few hospital/facility beds.  Too few clear answers, definitive diagnoses, and  educational options.  This article gave me pause and made me feel a certain solidarity with the mother.  My child is nowhere near as difficult as the child in this story, but he can be very similar sometimes.  What is there to do?  How do we fix this problem?  I definitely don’t know the answers, but that brings me to the last of the three major issues that these events always stir up.

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When these horrific events happen, people always start arguing about God.  Those who believe, crying out for people to lean on Him, trust in Him, turn to Him for comfort.  Those who don’t believe, calling names, blasting believers’ ignorance, simplicity, foolishness, asking how believers can stand to trust in a God who could allow this type of thing to happen.  Believers then try to patiently explain that God gave humankind free will, and in that exercise of free will, humankind often chooses evil.  Then believers also express the opinion that part of the reason we have so many of these problems today is a general reduction in the number of people who truly believe in God and follow Jesus Christ.  Which, of course, makes non-believers pretty defensive, saying that just because they don’t go to church, that doesn’t make them more likely to pick up a weapon and commit a mass murder.  Then you get into all sorts of debates and arguments over “religion” versus relationship with God, and pew-sitters versus true followers, and the crusades and all the other heinous acts in history that have been committed “in the name of God.”

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That’s all true.  People have done and continue to do things in the name of God that He would certainly never ask, accept, or approve.  I just don’t know what there is to do about it all.  Sometimes it feels like there is such anger, bitterness, hard feeling, and hatred toward believers these days.  Almost any group you could think of has its rights and is to be tolerated.  Except Christians.  (Real ones, not crazy, hate-filled ones.)  Sometimes it’s hard to tell which ones are which, and therein lies the problem.

I don’t really know where I’m going with all this.  I just fear that we’re moving toward a point in this world where Christianity is well on its way to being a persecuted minority.   It’s a scary thought, and one that I’m sure a lot of people share, but I know those whom it most directly affects have the faith and trust to endure whatever comes, and to place their strength in a Wisdom that is higher than their own.  In the meantime, we need to just remember to tell our loved ones how much they mean to us, and remember that we are not guaranteed one day or hour upon this earth.  If we live as though each day were our last, with respect to our basic integrity, our treatment of others, and our reverence for the Divine, we will probably not come to the end of our lives with anything to regret.

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Until next time,

D.

 

Strutting and Fretting September 24, 2012

Corcovado jesus

Corcovado jesus (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

Hello all.

I’m typing this from memory.  Go ahead, be amazed.  (I can do the prologue to R&J too):

“The Queen, my Lord, is dead.”

“She should have died hereafter.  There would have been a time for such a word.  Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in its petty pace from day to day, down to the last syllable of recorded time.  And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death.  Out, out brief candle!  Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more.  It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”

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This post will be nothing more than the satisfaction of my need to be writing and sharing my mood, which is dismal.  I’m circling the drain right now, folks.  Seriously.  Right this minute I am just heartsick.  There are so many reasons why, so many things, so many sadnesses and disappointments and stresses and worries and fears and dreads, none of which I can really share here.  I suppose it would make for much more real, honest, raw, gritty reading if I could, but I can’t find the words right now.

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Facebook.  Man, what a source of depression.  You’re sitting there looking at something that tells you you have 213 “friends” and you can’t think of one person you could really call and talk to, one real live “human bean”, as it were, who would listen to your litany of bummed-ness and understand and not say “your life is not really all that bad compared to (fill in the blank).  Suck it up, Buttercup.”  And really, who needs a friend to tell you that, when you tell yourself that every moment of every day?

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I know so many people who would tell me “Just pray about it!  Let go and let God!”  But for some reason, most times when I pray about things, I don’t feel any feedback coming my way.  I don’t feel any change in the situations or any peace in my heart about them.  I just feel like I’m shouting over the edge of a canyon and all I can hear is the echo of my own voice.  But then sometimes I pray and something happens the next day or the next hour or whenever, that convinces me Someone was listening.  That happens just often enough to keep me from giving up completely.

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I blame it on hormones, darn those rotten little things.  (The moodiness, not the echoing canyon phenomenon.)  A 5-7 lb water weight gain and a few days of utter despair every stinking month, and for what?  Fertility I never plan to use again.

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So anyway.  I’ll soldier on.  One does, you know.

Until next time,

D.

PS: Also typed from memory:  🙂

“Two households, both alike in dignity

In fair Verona where we lay our scene.

From ancient grudge break to new mutiny

where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

From forth the fatal loins of these two foes,

a pair of star-crossed lovers take their life.

Whose misadventured, piteous overthrows,

doth with their death bury their parents’ strife.

The fearful passage of their death-marked love

and the continuance of their parents’ rage,

which but their children’s end, naught could remove

is now the two hours’ traffic of our stage.

The which, if you with patient ears attend,

what here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.”

 

The Perfect Match: 13 Things I Will Not Be Without in my Next Relationship Partner! July 4, 2012

"Ai," the traditional Chinese charac...

“Ai,” the traditional Chinese character for love (愛) consists of a heart (middle) inside of “accept,” “feel,” or “perceive,” which shows a graceful emotion. It can also be interpreted as a hand offering ones heart to another hand. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello all.  I visited a website yesterday that I hadn’t been to in over 5 years- eHarmony.  I’m not sure what drew me there, exactly.  Curiosity, maybe?  I wanted to look again at the personality profile I’d made years and YEARS ago, and see how much it had changed, but for some reason it was unavailable.  I wasted a little time updating some profile information, and briefly (VERY briefly) considered forking over the money to have a membership again.  That was before I really looked at the prices and decided it was rather expensive for what it was, and I’d just procrastinate on that particular action a little longer.

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One profile I was able to see was the ‘Ideal Match‘ profile where it tells me in detail all about the person who would, in theory, be perfect for me.  It seemed like a lot of information, too much detail to take in or even share, but I wondered how much of it was relevant now, based on a bunch of questions I answered nearly 10 years ago!  So it got me thinking (And it also happened to be an assignment from my counselor, The Golden Goddess. See ‘Meet the Cast’).  What exactly are the vital qualities in someone I’d like to have in my life?  What do I want that person to be like?  So I whipped out my little notebook and started jotting down some thoughts, and here is what I discovered:

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1) Spirituality/Emotional Strength–  I want a fighter.  I want a faith-filled, non-giver-upper.  But they also need to be comfortable expressing their needs and leaning on me when they need to, and they need to be able to accept my encouragement and strength.  Most importantly, they need to have a strong basic faith/belief system/philosphy that they draw strength from.

2) Passionate–  They love deeply and strongly.  They enjoy every day.  They live to experience life.  They look for beauty and are open to experience.  They love to laugh and are not afraid to cry.

3) Bright/Intelligent/Curious– They can carry on a conversation, express their views and beliefs, and they’re open to learning.  They don’t mind reading a book!

4) Patient/Calm/Low boiling point– They can deal with me (and much more importantly, with my kids!) without losing their temper.  More preferredly, they don’t HAVE a temper!

5) Interested in health and fitness– Not dogmatic or preachy about it, but they care about their body and try to treat it right the majority of the time.  They enjoy some type of physical activity and exercise, and would be open to encouraging and competing with me in that area.

6) Affectionate– They like to hug and kiss, but are not overly showy in public.  They like to demonstrate their love through small gestures.  Fluent in all five Love Languages:  acts, gifts, time, words, touch.

7) Sexually balanced– Not frigid, but not oversexed.  They recognize that physical connection is a vital part of a healthy relationship and they are comfortable expressing needs and discussing problems in that area.

8) Musical/artistic/creative– They enjoy expressing themselves through some sort of creation or performance.  It could be anything- musical, visual, technical, mechanical, stylistic, written, etc.

9) Committed/trustworthy– When they give their word, it is as good as gold.  Whether it’s marriage vows or parental rules, they mean what they say and they stand behind it, and honor it.

10)Responsible (Financially, socially, and personally)- They work.  Financially they contribute equally.  They don’t abuse the environment unnecessarily.  They share equally the work around the house and  wouldn’t mind giving of their time to give back to society if they found the right opportunity.  They are balanced with money- not cheap, but not indiscriminate.  They accept and own their past and their choices, and are not afraid to look back on them, to see the good, try to find value, and look for lessons to apply.

11) Moral/honest/open– They try to do what’s right; they follow the law (mostly.  Speed limits are negotiable. 🙂 ).  They are truthful and they express their feelings and needs, encouraging and inviting me to do the same.  They accept my feelings as valid even if they feel differently.

12) Value autonomy- They recognize that we don’t have to be together every single minute to still be very deeply and strongly connected.  They have interests and they allow me mine, but they never let them come between us.

13) Faithful- They believe with all their soul that I am the best partner they could ever have.  They thank God for bringing me into their life, and they would never, ever, EVER be unfaithful, no matter what.

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So there it is.  The profile of Mr. Right.  It’s somewhat hard for me to put this out there, because I often feel like my kids are all I can handle in my life.  They are a huge focus,  but I very often wish wholeheartedly that I had someone to walk through life with, someone to love.  There are also many times when I think, ‘Well, I’ve had two chances and they’ve both ended.  Maybe that’s all the chances I get and I’m just going to have to learn to be complete in myself and accept my single-ness as permanent.’  Which is a little misleading, because I actually believe I need to be complete in myself anyway, to be able to be complete in a relationship, but that’s beside the point.  The point is, sometimes I feel ready, sometimes I don’t.  Sometimes I feel like relationships are overrated, over-complicated, and not worth the time and trouble.  But when I see friends and family finding love, getting married, being happy, feeling like they found their soul mates, I just get a little jealous, darn it!  I long for that, I crave it.  I grieve when I think I may never have it. (And I feel guilty for not being satisfied with where I am, but that’s a whole other post.)

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Ah, love.  Both beautiful and terrible.  Thanks for sharing this with me, and if you really want to make me happy, leave a comment and tell me what’s on your “Won’t be without” list!

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Until next time,

D.

ETA:  I realized that a couple of vital bits of information on this subject were missing or ambiguous:  this person needs to be a man between the ages of 35 and 45.  Notice there is not one mention of physical appearance anywhere on this list.  Physical appearance is very less likely to be important to me than overall health and fitness.  That being said, however, taller than me is a plus. 😀

 

 
The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

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