The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

A Good Day, A Bonsai, and A Warm Blanket April 13, 2015

Hello all!  Today is a little bit of a weird day.  It’s my last regular day at my job. For one more day I am the secretary of a TV/Radio/Internet ministry program.  Tomorrow it moves to Tennessee and I will be one day closer to my summer job as a clerk in a gift shop in a wilderness resort in Alaska.  I was a little emotional walking into my office today.  My formerly pleasant work space is half-packed, cluttered, disrupted.  The sky outside my sixth floor windows is gray and rain weeps down the glass.  I’ve spent three and a half years at this job, and one year in this office.  It has been a journey.  This program has been through three boards of directors, three computer techs, and lost its main speaker in my three years with the program.  Now that is all behind, and what lies ahead is a summer adventure in Alaska like none I have ever experienced.  I am so excited!

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Yesterday was a really good day. I’ll tell you why.  I took a moment to spend time with one of my best friends before I’m out of the state for four months.  We went to a high school production of Grease, which as my loyal readers will remember, I stage-managed in community theater this past summer.  A couple of the kids who were in my production were also in this one, in their same roles, and they were absolutely wonderful!  I was so proud of them and their efforts.  Even in the short time since they last performed the show, they have grown and improved so much. It was impressive to witness.

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Another reason yesterday was good was that I was actually able to acquire something I have always wanted:  a bonsai tree.  There was a van set up by the side of the road in the town where the show was, and we stopped and checked them out.  I had only ever had artificial bonsai trees before.  I had two of them when my house burned in 2009, and had always wanted a real one.  (Probably, if I were to confess, a side-effect of being a child of the 80s and watching Mr. Miyagi care for them in The Karate Kid! Ha!) One of my dorm-mates in college had one and she was always leaving it in the bathroom sink to water it, and I have rarely ever been so tempted to steal something! Shocking, I know.  Wherever the fascination originated, I really love them.  I felt a little guilty buying something that was going to require care and attention when I am about to be leaving for Alaska, but I knew either my mother or my daughters would take care of it for me.  I spent a good portion of the evening trying to think of a name for it.  Yes, I’m a little goofy.  I wish I could take my new little tree to Denali with me, but unfortunately I cannot.  Here’s my new friend:

It still needs a name.

It still needs a name.

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I made up for that with another purchase, though.  My daughter recently started working in the electronics department at Wal-Mart, and she was tickled to discover that you can get photos put on things like mouse pads, coffee mugs, and blankets.  She is an artist, a cartoonist, an animator.  She declared that she wanted to get some of her artwork put on a blanket so “I can be surrounded by my art!” She got that done quickly and easily, and I was inspired.

Daughter S. with her beloved blanket featuring her character, Random Colors.

Daughter S. with her beloved blanket featuring her character, Random Colors.

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I may not be able to take my new Bonsai friend with me to Alaska, but I can take my babies! Not in person, sure, but I can take my Sweet Baboos (thank you, Sally Brown) to the Last Frontier with me on a blanket!  I can take them out on the deck, snuggle up with them and watch the mountain, and they will be with me any time I want!  Here is what I ordered:

Notice the yellow border.  Not exactly a surprise, now, is it? :)

Notice the yellow border. Not exactly a surprise, now, is it? 🙂

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All the pictures are from our cruise in 2012, which was our biggest adventure to date.  This Alaska thing will trump that, I think, what with all of us becoming grown-ups and striking out on our own and all.  I can’t wait to see how it all turns out.  People keep asking me what I am going to do when I come back, and I don’t have an answer.  That is the beauty of life at this point.  I am a little like Forrest Gump’s feather.  I’m just floating along and open to whatever adventure I happen to land on next!

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Stay tuned for more blog adventures, soon to be coming to you from the great state of Alaska, complete with  (I hope) lots of gorgeous pictures!  Thanks for stopping by.

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Until next time,

D.

 

The Return of the Klingon Woman June 28, 2012

Two Klingon males and a female as they appear ...

Two Klingon males and a female as they appear in the original television series episode “Day of the Dove”. The bronzed skin, facial hair, lack of ridged foreheads, and simple costumes are typical of The Original Series Klingons. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello all!

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Wow, no more Allure trip journal.  I’m not sure I can write anything else after all that.  Actually though, we did take another trip last weekend.  This one was much shorter, cheaper, and personal.  We had a family reunion in Cuchara, Colorado.   Road trips, oy!  There’s a reason they call it a trip!  Families are so crazy, but so much fun and so much love.   When we first arrived there, for the first whole day or so in fact, I felt like Forrest Gump– I was so excited I just wanted to run everywhere.  Quite a departure for me, I can assure you.  My cousin who is a nurse said it was a little bit of manic behavior brought on by excitement.  Whatever it was, it didn’t last.  I was fine with walking after a couple of days.  We always have a lot of laughs, my cousin and I.  You never know when we’re going to dress up an old mop and try to torture neighborhood boys and get beat for it.  😀

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One of the moments that cracked me up the most on the whole trip was on the way home.  It felt like it was taking absolutely forever, and the kids were getting a little antsy.  All of a sudden, from the back seat, the following scenario occurred:

The Boy:  “Pillow fiiiiight!!!”

Me and my mom:  “Boy, you’re the only one in the whole vehicle who has a pillow!!

The Boy:  (two beats of silence)  “Fist fiiiiiight!!”

*

He’s a hoot, isn’t he?  We nicely informed him there would be no fist fights, but I was about to fall out of my chair laughing.   On the other hand, one thing that did NOT make me feel like laughing was The Return of the Klingon Woman.  Now, to know what I’m talking about, you’d have to go all the way back to the first month of this blog, all the way back to the origin of the whole thing.  I was 130 lbs heavier then, and I had woken up many mornings to see that my forehead was squished when I slept on my sides, resulting in these diagonal lines from my hairline down across my forehead.  The first thing I thought of was some kind of crinkly-headed alien like the Klingons, so that’s where the whole thing started.

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This phenomenon hasn’t been quite so prevalent since I’ve lost so much weight, but this past weekend I woke up one morning to discover it had returned.  Maybe all the hiking and mountain air wore me out and I just slept harder on that side or something, but it was kind of a disturbing thing.  It made me remember how I felt back then, how hard it was living life at that weight.   People who have never been overweight just have no idea.

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Luckily, my forehead smoothed itself out pretty quickly as the day went on, and I haven’t noticed a recurrence, but it definitely gave me pause.  It reminded me how far I’ve come and how much I do NOT want to go back to where I was.  Unless of course you’re talking about going back to Colorado.  Man, it was so nice there!  The highs were in the 80s or so, lows in the 50s maybe.  It was Extremely Pleasant!  We started home Monday morning, and the closer we got to Oklahoma, it just got hotter and hotter, more and more humid.  We were all kind of like, “Did we take a wrong turn on the way to Oklahoma and end up on the surface of the sun!?!”

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Realizing of course, Colorado is in a state of emergency right now with all the wildfires, all of us here at TJKW (read, me) are definitely sending good thoughts and prayers to the entire state.   Our family reunion was in such a beautiful area!  There were a wide variety of cabins for rent, a cute little village with stores and such, and two tiny little lakes just hopping with trout.  Several of our family members enjoyed the opportunity to drop a hook and drown a worm, The Boy included.  He caught his first fish this weekend, in fact.  (I think it was his first fish.  It was definitely his first trout.)   I was so proud, and he was so excited.  (All together now:  awwwwwww!)  He had a hard time with his first trip, because the flies were bugging him, so to speak, but on his next two trips they weren’t as bad, and he had a lot better luck.

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All in all, it was a great weekend, a lot of good fun with great family, and an opportunity to appreciate other places besides home.  Wildfires or not, I may have to move there someday.  It’s not as far as Alaska, but the weather is much more comfortable than here.  Hope everybody has a great 4th of July coming up!  We usually have a big family thing.  My parents live out in the country, so everyone brings their fireworks and we usually either grill or have sandwiches, watermelon and homemade ice cream.  The day being on Wednesday night puts a bit of a crimp in it, but we’ll just roll with it.  That’s what we do.

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Until next time,

D.

 

Stupid Is As Stupid Does, Forrest! July 29, 2010

Filed under: Stupidness! — DDKlingonGirl @ 11:45 am
Tags: , , , ,

Hello all.  You know what?  Sometimes you just have to chalk things up to stupidness!  Take yesterday, for example. 

I needed to take some laundry out of the washer and put it in the dryer.  (I’m lucky it wasn’t soured, because it was in there all night, but that’s not the point of the story.)  So there are two baskets on top of my dryer, both full of laundry, with a cap of laundry across the top of both of them.  Instead of taking them down and putting them elsewhere, I took the two little lap blankets out of the dryer and put them… where else?  On top of the stack, which resulted in a couple of little things falling behind the dryer. 

I was worried that they might overheat and catch on fire, so I decided to retrieve them from their little hiding place.  like the genius I am, I tried to reach over the washer, around the baskets on the dryer, and behind the dryer.  Needless to say, I couldn’t reach the stuff! 

So at this juncture, I have two options:  a) remove the mound of crap off the dryer and reach behind it for the stuff, or 2) climb up on the washer and try to reach the stuff without moving the stuff on the dryer.  Since this post is all about stupidness, which option do you think I chose, boys and girls?

That’s right.  I climbed up on the washer to reach down behind the dryer, which of course I still couldn’t reach, because it was the far opposite side I was aiming for.  So I wiggled, squirmed, scooted, stretched, strained, and heard a loud SNAP! from underneath me.  At the time, all I could do was think, “Great, now what did I break?” and keep trying to accomplish my goal of removing the fire hazard from behind my dryer!

Finally I managed to do what I needed to do, and shinnied down from the washer to inspect the damage.  It was the knob that tells the washer what size the load needs to be.  Luckily, it was set on Extra Large, as it always is, but unless and until I get it repaired, there will be no washing small loads at my house! 

Chalk it up to Stupidness!  Darn it.

Just a little note to say that my posts here may be short, sweet, few and far between for a couple of weeks.  My internet at home is turned off and I can only post when I can sneak in time at work.   I should be able to get it turned back on in a couple of weeks.

Thanks for reading!

Until next time,

D.

 

This Kid Makes the Energizer Bunny Feel Tired! May 15, 2010

Hello all.  I think this post needs to be dedicated to my son, the comedian.  Let’s see.  What has he said in the last three hours that has made me laugh like a hyena? 

Well first of all, he’s been running around the house all evening.  Daughter S. and I have been watching a movie, and most of the time we’ve been doing this, The Boy has been running.  Just running.  Like Forrest Gump.  All over the house.  From the front door to the back door, from the laundry room to the hall, from the bedroom to the couch.  At one point he hid behind one corner and said, “Hey, Mom- am I moving so fast you can’t even see me?”  My attention was engaged in the movie at the time, and I said “Huh?” (I know, brilliant, right?) And he said, “Really watch me this time!  I’m moving so fast you can’t even see me!”  And then he made another circuit through the front half of the house.  He came up and stood in front of my chair, lifted his shirt, flashed his belly at me, (His newly chubby belly instead of his deathly concave, all-ribcage belly, thanks to changing ADHD med!)  and asked, “Does it look like I’ve losed-ed weight?”  I said. “Is that why you’re running?” And he said, “Yeah, Mom, cause I need exercise!  I gotta lose weight and get my muscles back!” 

Then he climbed up on my lap and put his head on my chest and I rubbed my hand over his hair and he asked, “Is my hair all covered with sweat-ness?”  So I said, “Yeah, you need to take a bath.”  His response?  “Why?  The bathtub is full of stuff and the shower’s probably hairy.”

Then he climbed down and took off again, and at a later point in the evening, he was in the living room floor doing push-ups!   And he stopped and said, “Uh-oh, I’m getting too strong.  I gotta stop, ’cause when I get too strong, the blue line pops out, and it runs from there to there, (pointing to his inner arm) and when the blue line pops out you’re getting too strong.  And I don’t wanna get such big muscles I can’t even reach up and scratch my head!”  I said, “I don’t think anybody gets that big of muscles.”  And he said, “Uh-HUH!  On tv!  Like on Fairly OddParents!” (Referring to a cartoon character styled after Arnold Schwarzenegger).

Then he jumped down and took off again.  Later I asked him to hand me my purse or something, and he said, “I can’t- I have little tiny arms like a T-Rex!”  Then he bent his arms at his chest where his hands were only a couple of inches from his chest and waved them frantically, saying “Aaaauuuhhh, I’m a tiny-armed T-Rex!”

A few minutes ago he had found some purple vampire teeth and was lurching around growling and hissing at us, and he crawled up beside my chair and said, “I’m a werewolf, but I’m a good werewolf, and I want to be petted!”  Now the Tiny Armed T-Rex is riding the arm of the couch, using MY pillow as a saddle, watching Daughter S. play Avatar on the PS3, talking about ‘banshees, ikrans, and battling the RDA against the Na’vi.’  I’m not sure, but I think it’s time to break out the Benedryl if he’s ever going to get to sleep! 

Gotta love living with this kid- Half Jim Carrey, half Energizer Bunny!

Until next time,

D.

 

 
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