The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

The Year Behind, The Year Ahead… December 31, 2013

Path

Path (Photo credit: Guerito)

Hello all!  I have neglected my beloved blog for a couple of months now, and I do apologize.  I plan to do better with that in the future.  More on that shortly.  So!  It’s New Year’s Eve.  The Big One.  The last hoorah, as it were.  People everywhere are posting their year in review, and I am a total bandwagon-hopper, so here’s mine.  Enjoy!

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For starters, in 2013, nobody died.  Not in my family, at least.  Last year my father lost his mother and his baby sister in the same damn year.  It was pretty bad.  Thankfully this year, we have not lost any close family members.

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My weight loss efforts, on the other hand, suffered an untimely demise.  Well, maybe not entirely.  I have sort of continued to half-heartedly fight the battle of the bulge, but overall this year, I am up by 10 pounds since this time last year.

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Ah, the children.  Yes, of course.  From the beginning of this blog, my kiddos and their progress in life have been a continuing topic of discussion, and they are actually doing pretty well.  Daughter S. is taking college courses, and passing them, and although she is in a temporary lull with regard to having clarity on what she wants to do with her life and how she wants to do it, I think in general, she is in good shape.  Daughter J. is in a period of great growth and striving toward what she wants.  She has a job and a boyfriend and plans for her future.  Next on her list: she wants to learn to drive, and she wants to get married.  THAT particular goal of hers is going to require a lot of work and planning for her to be able to have independence, given her and her boyfriend’s developmental limitations.  Also a lot of therapy for ME, to be able to handle such an event.

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The Boy deserves his own paragraph.  After struggling his last few years in public school, we home-schooled last year, and this year we found him a small, private Christian school which uses a homeschool curriculum, and he seems to be growing and making progress and fitting in quite well.  He still has difficulties expressing himself appropriately when he gets really mad, (and he often gets mad for the most incomprehensible of reasons) but when it comes to the expression part, who doesn’t?!  Anyway.  His physical growth and changes in the past year are somewhat mind-blowing to me.  He has outgrown his sisters, his feet are bigger than mine, and I feel pretty certain by this time next year he will be taller than me as well.  NOT looking forward to that, I’ll just be honest.  He will be 13 in May.  For now I will just enjoy not having any teenagers in the house! (The girls turned 20 on November 29.)

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And where do we even begin with my own personal progress in 2013?  It has been a year of stretching my horizons and trying new things.  I took a solo vacation for the first time in my life, and traveled to Charleston, SC to spend a weekend with a bunch of people I didn’t know, and it turned out AMAZING.  Even before that, though, I did the unthinkable.  I auditioned for community theater.  I got up on a stage and sang for a bunch of people I didn’t know, and just like the Charleston trip, it was an amazing thing for me.  I was cast in the Ardmore Little Theatre production of Les Miserables and made so many new friends.  It was literally a life-changing decision when I dug up from somewhere deep inside me the bravery to actually get up on that stage and try out

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If you have been reading me throughout this entire community theater journey, you will know that I also developed a major crush on someone from the theater, which followed me from June through December.  Unfortunately, the person about whom I was obsessing did not think I was special in the same way that I thought he was special.  Right about the time I got clear on that, he decided that one of my best friends was special in that way instead.  And after watching me pine for this person for six months, his sudden attention to her made her decide she thought he was special in that way, too.  That is one of the reasons I haven’t written much here lately.  On a scale of 1 to 10, this infatuation was a 15, so it has taken me some time to begin to heal from all of that.  But I am, finally.  I have had no other choice but to forgive, and my friend and I are still friends.  Possibly better friends than before.  At least, I hope so.

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Before all of this romantic drama happened, the theater journey continued with a leading role in a play that was making its world debut on our stage, which was something I NEVER thought I could do.  Wow.  I never thought I could act, and it turns out, I am not too bad at it.  It helps that the character I was playing was very close to my own personality, so I may not actually be as good an actress as I like to think, but we won’t dwell on that. 🙂   The journey is scheduled to continue as, a week from tonight, I audition for the next ALT production, Young Frankenstein.  I only hope for a chorus part in that one as well.

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To wind up the year, I have been conducting a personal test in the last week or two.  After all the drama with my friend and The Crush hit the fan, I deactivated my Facebook temporarily.  As you will know if you have read me much, Facebook was one of my major outlets, the primary way I connect with people, but I decided it was best if I take a break.  I had said I would probably reactivate it after the New Year, but we’ll see.

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This is getting long, so very briefly, my hopes for 2014:  just happiness.  Beyond that, I’m open.

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My GOALS, on the other hand, are a whole other story.  I want to renew my Weight Watchers efforts with enough dedication and determination that I will remain on the downward slide with regard to scale numbers, and be under 200lbs by this time next year.  I want to steal one of my little sister’s goals and make it a point to connect more with my family.  I want to start saving for my Long Dreamed Of Trip to Alaska for my 45th birthday (which isn’t until 2017!).  And finally, I might just write a book.  My poetry got a lot of attention in 2013, and I hope to draw on some connections I made from that, and maybe let it take me somewhere.

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Above all, I am going to TRY to live in the moment.  Wherever I am, I am going to be intensely focused on being there.  Enjoying where I am, what I am doing, and WHO I am with.  I am not going to be wishing I could be somewhere else or with someone else (read: a romantic relationship).  I am going to focus on trying to be myself, love myself, and perhaps in 2014, finally grow up.  The following are two quotes I want to try to live by in 2014:

If it’s not challenging you, it’s not changing you.

And

Life is a result of the choices you make.  If you don’t like your life, start making better choices.

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HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!

Until next time,

D.

 

Lonely Monkey Syndrome August 9, 2013

Lonely Monkey Ape at Zoo

Lonely Monkey Ape at Zoo (Photo credit: epSos.de)

Hello all.  So here’s the deal.  I’m feeling a little down, drowsy, and blah today.  I realize that compared to my post yesterday, it’s the polar opposite, but if you’ve been reading me longer than five minutes, you know that’s how I roll.  I call it emotional bungee jumping.  Anyway.  It’s not that I just feel that way for the fun of it.  The problem lies in the area of social media and how some of us connect nowadays.  In short- Facebook.  I know I talk about it a lot.  It’s one of my most frequently used outlets to connect and reach out to friends, family, and assorted others.   I acknowledge this and I’m ok with it.  That’s not exactly the problem.

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The problem here is that I am a Facebook OVER-user.  I am constantly getting flack from some people in my life who tell me that I put too much stuff out there.  I post too much of my daily life, my thoughts and feelings, what I had for lunch (healthy eating victories), what socks I’m wearing (random urge to wear Christmas socks in July), what I did at work (Les Mis withdrawals and a mini desk-barricade), and random song lyrics that pop into my head (because I work with one headphone in my ear as much as possible and I have my entire iTunes on shuffle, so there’s no telling what comes up.)  So yeah, I’m one of THOSE Fb people, but I do have some self-control:  I don’t share a lot of recipes, political posts, Like this Page if You Love God, Keep Scrolling if you’re heartless, etc.  Those are dumb.  Ok, not the recipes.

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I’m really trying hard here, to make this a well-thought out discourse on why people are the way they are with regard to social media.  In my own case, it has to do with my work environment.  I work in a church building, as the secretary for a TV/Radio/Internet ministry overseen by the elders of this particular congregation.  I sit in a big empty room, I answer the phone and send free Bible CDs and DVDs to people who call and request them or send an email form.  I am frequently the only one in the building, and even when I’m not, I don’t talk much to the 2 or 3 people who are here.  In short- I have no interaction!  I’m not in the public, I’m not dealing with customers, other than briefly on the phone.  It’s quiet, and it’s dull.  I order supplies, I duplicate and label DVDs and CDs, I pay bills and make deposits from donations.  That’s it.  Basically, I think I over-use Fb because I’m a little bored and a lot un-challenged.  And lonely.  That too.  Facebook is like being with your friends, even when you’re not.  And insanely, you miss them when they aren’t on it anymore if that was your main method of contact!  I’ll say it again:  Facebook is like being with your friends, even when you’re not.

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Ok, so we know that, and we know it’s just how some people use the site.  Fine, what’s the problem?  Well, it’s the struggle between just being who you are, doing what you do, and not caring if people think you are a big old NERD… and knowing that this is something that brings you comfort and enjoyment but people think you’re a dork for it.  THAT is my problem.  I know, I’ve been told more than once that I worry way too much about what people think.  Noted.  But that struggle is the source of my mood today!  When I’m bored and lonely, I feel like posting some random boring junk on social media, but I know that I am in essence making a bigger fool out of myself with each ‘like,’ comment, and share.  Which makes the mood worse, and it all just sort of rolls downhill.

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Blessed are those who are not aware that Facebook over-usage is self-embarrassment and can like, share, and comment to their heart’s content.  I either need to Facebook (in its verb sense) less, learn how to not care what people think, or do more things with friends in real life.  Maybe all three.  Alternatively, maybe I just need a more active, interesting, challenging, and people-related job!  You think? 🙂

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Until next time,

D.

 

Nostalgia and Anticipation! May 29, 2013

Hello all.  This will be relatively short, as I only have half an hour left at work to write.  I promised in my last post before all the tornado stuff to keep you updated about the Little Theater audition for Les Miserables, how it went, and the results and all that.  But first I also have to say, I am super nostalgic this week, because exactly one year ago this week, I was on the biggest cruise ship in the world, cruising the Caribbean for the first time ever in my life, and you guys…I wanna go back so badly!  I absolutely cannot wait until my next opportunity to go on a cruise.  I told the kiddos if I had the money I’d take them back again in a heartbeat, but Oh! what I wouldn’t give to go on a cruise with just me and a Significant Other!  The romance, the beauty, all that sickening stuff.  🙂

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AND exactly TWO years ago, my whole family was at Disney World thanks to my incredibly generous mother, who took all of us to Disney to help celebrate her retirement.  It was something she had promised the grandkids a long time ago, and she saw the opportunity and took it.  So I keep looking back on that too, remembering how much fun we had together, and even though there were moments that were not so pretty, I would definitely do that trip again too, if I had the chance.

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Ok, so the auditions.  It was Saturday, May 18.  I had felt really nervous and undecided about it, right up until I woke up the morning before auditions, and the theater group’s Facebook status was something about just coming to watch if you were nervous or undecided, checking it out, seeing how things went, and coming back on the second day if you wanted to audition.  Y’all, I cried.  I know that sounds insane, but it was like a message from God, telling me I needed to at least GO to the auditions on Saturday, whether I went ahead and sang or not.

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So on Saturday morning, I got up, showered, etc., tried to put together an outfit that looked confident, but not desperate.  I drove into town, singing along with my warm-up exercises that I had added to my audition CD.  I was among the first people there, because when I originally called about it, the lady I talked to said to come early.  I parked outside and waited around until I saw someone else go in, because I wasn’t sure if I was at the right door, and I’m just a big chicken- that’s how I roll.  So I went in, signed in, had my picture taken, and went to go sit in the auditorium and be nervous.

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I almost immediately struck up a conversation with another lady sitting there who looked about as nervous as I was.  We chatted a while and she was very friendly.  It turned out that she was from a nearby town, and a member of the same type of church I attend!  (By the time it was all said and done we had exchanged phone numbers and added each other on Facebook!)

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So first they took all the auditioners who were using sheet music because the pianist had a prior commitment and we needed to get her out of there.  There were probably at least 30 folks there to audition, and about 2/3 needed the pianist.  It immediately became apparent that this… was going to be SO. Much. Fun!  Just watching people perform and listening to them sing was so inspiring.  Some people were really good, others pretty good but really nervous, but the audience was always extremely supportive and respectful.  Everyone was applauded, which was really encouraging.

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Now, all this time leading up to the auditions, I had been so nervous, so worried that I wouldn’t be good enough compared to everyone else, but by the time I had my name called, something weird had happened.  I realized I was at least as good as most people there, and had as good a chance as any of them to be selected, and something in my just sort of went, “Go for it!”  So I took my spot on stage, assumed an attitude, and waited for the music.  When it came, I just pushed down my fear and nervousness and performed.  I strutted, I danced a little, I made eye contact with the audience, and I felt like a seasoned pro.  As a reminder, my audition song was “When You’re Good to Mama” from Chicago.  They had said in the information that the time limit was 2 minutes, but at first they were not stopping anyone.  By the time they got to me, they were cutting people off at 2 minutes, and when they stopped me, I literally had like 15 seconds to go, if that.  But oh well.  I was able to do the best of the song, and felt like a smashing success.  My new friend was right after me, and she also put it all out there and was really great.  She was auditioning for an actual part, the one I would have gone for if I’d had any experience.  But she’s braver than I am, because she’s a member of the church, and her songs have some profanity in them, and I could never have dealt with the disapproval of those who would come watch the show and gasp at me saying those words, even as a character.

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So anyway.  There was another day of auditions on Sunday, and then we waited.  And waited.  And WAITED.  Finally on Wednesday afternoon late, they posted the cast list on Facebook, AND….. I made it! I got in the chorus, and my new friend got the part she wanted.  Now it’s just a few more days until rehearsals start June 3rd.  It’s a huge time commitment- rehearsals are every weeknight from 7-10 pm, but I can’t wait.  It’s going to be awesome!

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Until next time,

D.

 

Loving Learning, Sharing Experience, and Being Honest April 5, 2013

English: Infographic on how Social Media are b...

English: Infographic on how Social Media are being used, and how everything is changed by them. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello all!  There is so much I want to say today.  I spent the first half of today at my alma mater, visiting my favorite college professors.  I even got to sit in on a class- Honors Philosophy and Ethics.  It was cup-filling, soul refreshing, wonderful.  I don’t think it’s possible to understate how much I love being on a college campus, roaming the grounds, searching musty-smelling library shelves, sitting in a classroom…there’s just something magical about the whole atmosphere.  I love seeing traditional college students, thinking about what a great time in their lives this is supposed to be- that first foray into adult independence when they go off to school.  And then…I remember that I’ve had that, and you can’t really re-create it into infinity.  It’s meant to be a certain time in your life, not the totality of a life.  That said, I am seriously considering beginning to look into graduate programs and/or adjunct teaching positions solely for the purpose of hanging out in the World of College.

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I have also been looking at a lot of other blogs through links on Twitter, and there are so many writing challenges I would like to be taking part in, ((A to Z Blogging Challenge, NaPoWriMo, etc.) so many great things to read, so many great things waiting to be written.  And possibly some mundane, average, mediocre things to be written, but I enjoy the process of creating too much to back down just because the result might not be amazingly deep or clever.  And I think the rest of the world does too- they are just becoming trained to do it in 140 character Tweets or Facebook status updates, except for the writers and bloggers who can’t contain themselves to such limited venues.  The urge to create and share seems to be an overwhelming human instinct.  Or the current social media landscape is speeding up the evolutionary process toward making it so.  Either way, I’m pretty sure self-expression has never been quite so widespread, varied, and popular.

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Poetry.  I mentioned NaPoWriMo, both above and in my previous post, and I would love, love, LOVE to be posting something new and awesome here that fits that definition, but…how do I say this?  The things inside me that want to come out in that form- I need to save them for myself right now.  They just don’t really fit the mold of ‘Made For Public Consumption.’  I’ve sort of created this blog to be easily accessible from my real world life, and unfortunately I haven’t really achieved my tagline of being my True Self in front of all those people.  I might feel the need to apologize.  Explain.  Defend.  Justify.  Rationalize.  Stuff I don’t really want to do, because we’re talking about my unique feelings and experiences, and I’m entitled to those, in all their gory glory or their desolate, blowing emptiness, or their rich, deep beauty.  They are mine, not my readers’ but when I put them out there for the world to see, they become my readers’ too, to interact with, share, relate to, or even disdain.  I guess I’m just not ready for that level of intimacy.  It’s risky.  But so is life, I guess.

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That may be my point- as anonymous as blogging, Tweeting, Facebooking, Instagramming, and all the rest ARE, they are also a form of intimacy, or they can be.  Letting someone into your head- your thoughts and feelings.  Or maybe that’s just blogging the way I do it.  I’m not sure that I’m not just wading in deep BS at this point.  It’s just that people are always trying to break off that intimacy.  You’ve seen it- we’ve all seen it.  A friend or follower decides they’ve had enough of the social media scene, dramatically exit whatever stage they’re on, Twitter, Facebook, or whatever it is, but like a co-dependent relationship, they always come back.  There’s just something about that connection with other people, creating, sharing, that keeps us reactivating those accounts.  It’s understandable and inevitable.

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ANYWAY…

Here’s a short snippet of the poem that’s forming itself in my head:

I was talking about you.

It meant YOU, damn it.

It referred to how it is for me,

seeing your name, your face, your words

and how it’s a fresh gut punch every time it happens.

How I hate the way I’d rather feel that punch

Than lose touch again.

How I know we’ll never be

what we might once have wanted to be,

but what we are is enough.

It is too much.  It is not enough. It is enough.

And I don’t know why, but it is what it is.

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Until next time,

D.

 

Just Keep Swimming April 1, 2013

Filed under: Mood Swings,Sweatin' It Out! — DDKlingonGirl @ 4:35 pm
Tags: , , , , ,
Medieval Fair in Norman, Oklahoma, United States.

Medieval Fair in Norman, Oklahoma, United States. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello all.  Feeling the urge to write today, but not really feeling what I want to say, so that tells me I’m just looking for an outlet.  A vent.  An escape hatch.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to do any of that today.  I wanted to write a post last week all about the marriage equality thing that was causing firestorms all over Facebook and elsewhere.  I wrote some notes on things that I wanted to say about it, but I can’t seem to find the right moment.  Sadly, I haven’t spoken my mind because I know how it will be received, and quite frankly, I’m just not up to the criticism.  That should give you a clue.

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My new presence on Twitter (@DDKlingonGirl) is taking off rather slowly.  I have “protected my Tweets” so that people have to send me a request to follow.  I did this because I didn’t want any fake profiles, spammers, or porn-promos following me, and I’ve already had to reject about 10 of them.  Also because I really didn’t plan to stay on there after The Blathering, unless I make some really good friends through the experience.

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Ok, maybe I do need to say one vent-y thing, and I know I’m not in a solo boat here:  I hate mood swings!  In the dictionary under ‘just want to cry’ it says see me.  Some things in life just keep turning up like a bad penny, and it seems like they show up for no other reason than just to jack with your mind.  My eating habits, my thoughts about church stuff, my plans for my son’s education, and a few other things come to mind.  I wish I had insurance, because I’m about 99% sure I need to be on meds for bipolar, at the very least.  (My regular long-time readers’ response:  “Ya THINK!?”)  Or maybe I am just a moody sort of person who needs an attitude adjustment from time to time?

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Anyway.  It’s all good, because as soon as I get off work (about 45 minutes from now) I plan to go to my mom’s work fitness center and do my C25k.  Just hit the treadmill until I can shake this off.  And also, I’m going to look forward to next weekend.  I’ve got a new experience planned!  I’m going to Medieval Faire up in Norman.  Partly because I love that stuff and I’ve always wanted to go to one, but primarily to check out one of the Irish bands that’s playing.   I used to talk to one of the band’s members on an online dating site, and I’ve never heard him play.  🙂  That sounds like stalking, doesn’t it?  Maybe I shouldn’t admit to that.  Oh well.

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Until next time,

D.

 

The Cork Must Blow Sometime March 18, 2013

Charleston and Old Customs House

Charleston and Old Customs House (Photo credit: Smudge 9000)

Hello all.  I haven’t written a serious/thoughtful/really good post here in too long to think about, but I don’t have one today either.  I just feel like writing.  Today is one of those days.  You know, the kind of day where if I really let myself, I could absolutely wallow in bad mood, feeling completely unsuccessful at every aspect of my life.  If you’ll bear with me, the top ten things on my mind today are as follows:

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1.  I am not relationshippy.  I don’t have friends, I don’t go out to dinner parties or play bridge or any of that stuff.  This is an aspect of my life that I’m pretty unhappy with at the moment, but I don’t know where to look to change it.  I can’t think of anybody in particular (who’s near me) that I really want to hang out with, who has the time or energy or desire.  And the whole dating thing?  My future in the world of romantic relationships?! Forget it.  In the dictionary under hopeless it says see that.  I know, that’s not true, I might find someone eventually.  But given the whole marriage/divorce/remarriage religious issue, and how I can’t seem to lay that to rest, I will probably be much happier if I just give up on the whole idea.

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2.  Someone here at work left a huge jar of peanut butter in there on the counter, and I have been fighting its siren song all day.  When I am bored/cranky/hormonal/ or otherwise in the negative, mood-wise, all I want to do is eat.  And boy, can I eat.  I basically polished off an entire package of Oreo cookies all by myself yesterday.  That ought to have a fabulous effect on my Weight Watchers, lemme tell ya.

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3.  And on that subject, I am so ready to quit.  I can be good(ish) during the week, but weekends kill me no matter what I do, and I am just really tired of the fight.  I am tired of the waste of $$.  There are probably twenty-dozen different websites and iPhone apps with which I could do what I do with WW, except that they’re free.  Wouldn’t you know, I arrive at this mental place only two weeks after I shelled out forty bucks plus five dollars a month for WW ActiveLink, which I think SUCKS, btw.  You don’t start earning activity points until you’ve hit your baseline for the day, and when you actually do a concentrated, serious workout, like, oh, say C25k, you only earn one or two points for it!  When before, alternating walking and jogging for half an hour and calculating it yourself would have netted you like, 5 points at least.

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4.  Which by the way leads me to this:  I HATE EXERCISE!  No, I really hate it.  I have been trying to do the #$@% C25k and I was supposed to start Week 3 Day 1 yesterday, but instead I decided there was no way on this planet that I would be able to pull off jogging for three solid minutes, and I stuck with Week 2 for a little longer.  And even at that, it was torturous.  I walked for two of the six run cycles.  My freakin’ knees hurt.  I am angry.  I can’t lose weight and get healthier without exercising, and I can’t exercise when my major weight-bearing joints hurt so bad I wanna cry.   AND… I don’t have anyone to work out with, and I’m embarrassed to drag my jiggly, wiggly, huffing and puffing, slow-crawl jogging body through my neighborhood streets.  The high school football field track would have been a good place to work out, but it was closed for some sort of repairs.  So yesterday after church I did my workout, knees and neighborhood and all, but all I felt when I got done was anger, and that’s when I ate the Oreos.  Completely counterproductive, yes?  (I know, I should just give up on C25k and look into a membership at the YMCA or some other place that has a pool and do something that is non-weight-bearing, but ugh.  Wetness and changing clothes and showers and lockers and excuses, excuses.)

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5.  I colored my hair yesterday and I look like the love child of Raggedy Ann and Ronald McDonald, with a little bit of Weird Al thrown in for good measure.  I need a good haircut, that’s all there is to that.

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6.  I keep wanting to plan all my activities and adventures and tours for my trip to Charleston in October, but it’s still a little too far away.  I don’t know what the schedule is for the conference, what other people are going to be doing that I might could join in and be included in, etc.  I have been looking at walking tours, plantation tours, etc., and I want to do them all, but I know there’s only so much time I will have, and I don’t know which ones will be best.  I am hoping that as it draws closer, I will hear more from the other participants about what exactly their plans are and how much time to I need to plan to spend on my own versus hanging out with them.

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7.  Which leads me to The Twitter Issue.  Although there is a Facebook group that hasn’t been active really, since the end of the last event, the organizers of the Charleston trip communicate mainly through Twitter.  The problem is that so far I have not, up until today, had a Twitter account, because I. Don’t. Get. It.  Seriously.  I don’t understand Twitter, I don’t wanna understand Twitter, I think Twitter is a little bit stupid.  Or maybe Twitter just makes me feel stupid.  But I signed up today, hoping to be able to keep up-to-date with the other attendees of The Blathering and maybe get to know some of them enough to plan to share some tours or activities.  I didn’t really want to have any presence on Twitter other than as needed to participate in The Blathering, so I think what I might do is just delete my account there (are these things ever really gone?) and become the person who brings the Fb group back to life.

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Ok, I guess there will be no 8-10.  Fortunately, I think my Rant-juice just ran out.  I know, you’re thinking “Thank God!” I just needed to vent, you know?  Frustration, aggravation, pain, boredom, loneliness, anticipation, all those things just sort of got thrown into the blender and needed to decorate the kitchen walls, right?

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So as I am prone to do, I will soldier on, keep plowing, etc.  I just took a deep breath, and I will be finishing my day here at work, heading home to see what the kids have been up to all day, (they assure me they have been doing the things I asked them to do, housework help-wise) and trying to find something for supper that won’t exacerbate the damage I did to my Weight Watchers over the weekend.  Meeting is tomorrow, you see.  Not particularly looking forward to it.  Last week I had done the C25k workout three days of the week, as instructed; I thought I had done ok on my eating, and yet I gained like 4lbs. I decided my body hates me and there is no rhyme or reason to anything.  Thanks again for listening, Innernetz.  I don’t know what I’d do without ya. 🙂

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Until next time,
D.

 

It’s a Done Deal! February 12, 2013

There's No Looking Back

There’s No Looking Back (Photo credit: Toby Keller / Burnblue)

Hello all!  Well, I’ve done it.  I just completed my non-refundable, non-transferable, sign on the dotted line, better hope nothing happens, registration for The Blathering 2013.  I’m nervous and excited and curious.  My next step is to start watching flight prices to Charleston and researching hotels in the area.  And choosing someone to bribe into driving me to the airport. 🙂

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You know, I’ve gone back and forth on this, but I really think it’s something I need to do.  It represents the first of what I hope will be many adventures in my life where I step out on my own and just go with it.  I don’t know a soul who will be there.  I’ve never set foot in that city in my entire life.  I don’t know what it will be like, what will happen, or who I will meet.  But I know they will be people I can relate to- they will be women, mothers, sisters, friends, and above all, WRITERS!  They relate to the written word, they love it.  They may even cling to it as their only link to sanity, who knows?  There’s no telling, but I would be willing to bet that it will be fun, that I will make new friendships that could last a lifetime, and that I will be glad I took the chance.

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There’s one thing I’m a little concerned about though.  It looks like most of the conversation and divulging of details and dispensing of info about this event will be taking place on Twitter, something I am not into, and don’t particularly want to be.  I already spend too much time messing around on Facebook; I definitely don’t need another social media site sucking away the few remaining moments of my days.  And I hate to admit it, but Twitter confuses me, and I feel like I’m too old for it, you know?  Like it’s for the youngsters, and I’m not one of those anymore.  I already anticipate being the oldest one at The Blathering, but we’ll see.

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So I’m off to the flight price monitoring websites.  I also plan to use this upcoming event as motivation in my Weight Watchers efforts.  We’ll see how that goes too.  Wish me luck, y’all!  See you in Charleston!

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Until next time,

D.

 

 
The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Shawn L. Bird

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