The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Guess I’d Better Get On the Ball! January 29, 2015

Soon to be Home Away From Home!

Soon to be Home Away From Home!

Hello ALL!!!  I have really got to learn how to do shorter updates here, more frequently.  There are so many times that something runs through my head and I’ll think, “Oh, that would be a great blog entry” or “I really have something to say about that, I should blog it” but then time gets away and I don’t.  The other day I wanted to talk about how much I love it when things happen like my son being pretty cranky on the way to school and then something reminding him about one of his favorite songs from the show I’m in right now for Ardmore Little Theater, and he starts singing it under his breath, and then we both do the whistling part, and then by the time he gets to school, he gets out of the car and says “Thank you for making my attitude better.”  I really like that.

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Or how one of my huge-est, most unbelievable dreams is coming true and I’m going to Alaska in three months to work at a tourism job (Mt. McKinley Princess Wilderness Lodge) All. Summer. Long!  More on that later.

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But for right now I wanted to talk about my list of 101 Things to Do in 2015.  I wrote this shortly after New Years Day as a road map for the year and a reminder of things I wanted to accomplish.  I didn’t actually make it to 101 things, though.  I got stuck at about 89.  But here’s what I have so far:

 

101 Things to Do in 2015

1.  Get The Boy’s CDIB card and tribal citizenship

2. Make 2 new photo albums every month

3. Build bookshelves in the garage

4. Vacation Work in Alaska

5. Climb a mountain

6. Hang pictures around my house

7. Make theatre scrapbooks

8. Get Daughter S. to the doctor

9. Visit the Chickasaw Fitness Center

10. Use my grill

11. Haul off the junk on the north side of the house

12. Clean out garage

13. Really organize garage.

14.  Get new car

15. Feed a homeless person

16. Start and finish major writing project

17. Study philosophy (or philosophers)

18. Begin re-decorating house

19.  Price new carpet

20. Get a massage

21. Visit an Oklahoma tourist attraction

22. Take a solo road trip

23. Attend a writing conference

24. Build a yard shed

25. Give a random person $20

26. Continue taking voice lessons

27. Learn a song in another language

28. Send a card to Grandpa every month

29. Read 5 classic novels I’ve never read

30. Read 20 new books randomly recommended by someone

31. Exercise

32. Walk a 5K

33. Run a 5K

34. Try caviar

35. Read through the entire Bible

36. Memorize a psalm as a poem

37. Build a fire pit

38. Have/host an ALT party

39. Get a NEW dishwasher and microwave

40. Get a good yard sale couch and loveseat

41. Grow a plant and keep it alive (maybe a bonsai)

42. Attend a Mass

43. Attend a cultural event in Ardmore

44. Learn to cook again

45. Family game night once/mo.

46. Car headlight fixed

47. Road trip with each kid solo

48. Get to know The Niece

49. Random gifts (Dad, Mom, Sisters, Bros-in-law)

50. Get Charleston pics framed

51. Postcards to 3 cousins every month

52. Walk on a beach

53. Babysit for a friend so they can have a date night

54. Sign up for health insurance (Done)

55. Cure my toenail fungus

56. Special beauty treatment once a week

57. Teach Daughter S. to cook

58. Teach The Boy how to tie a necktie

59. Teach Daughter J. something important

60. Learn to make candles like Grammy did

61. Take makeup lessons from Elisa

62. Develop a character

63. Track WW 6 days out of every week

64. Road trip with all 3 kids

65. Buy The Boy a nice dresser

66. Try cotton candy grapes

67. Stage manage again

68. Attend an Open Mic Night

69. Sing with Community Chorale

70. Have Christmas presents bought by Thanksgiving

71. Clean and organize kitchen

72. Help build a Habitat house

73. Visit an art gallery

74. Write a love story that doesn’t have a happy ending

75. Learn to change a tire.  Actually do it.

76. Ride Amtrak to Dallas or OKC for a day

77. Offer to carry a baby for my sister and her husband

78. Buy a new Christmas tree

79. Wear a colored wig for a day

80. Use my PiYo mat and routines 2x/wk

81. Play in the rain

82. Rent paddleboat at Lake Murray Lodge

83. Transition TGOC to TN

84. Play ball with The Boy 2x/wk

85. Pay bills on time

86. Vote

87. Bury a dog (I only added this to the list after I actually had to do it in early Jan.)

88. Clean and organize bathroom and keep it

89. Be in a play (Done)

90. Learn to love myself for real

91. Go to one of those Wine and Art things (where everybody paints the same painting)

92. Raft the Chulitna river

93. Ride an ATV on a bear-watching adventure

94. Paddle a kayak on Byers Lake

95. Visit a place called Devil’s Canyon

96. Visit an Alaskan sled dog kennel

97. Float the Talkeetna river

98. Ride in a plane that lands on a glacier

99. Catch a salmon

100. Make a new friend

101. Live Out Loud with a Capital L

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So there we have it.  That’s my plan for the year. Those last few completed my list after I spent this morning looking at the CruiseTour excursions offered from my lodge location where I’ll be working in Alaska.  Employees get discounts.  I hope they’re good discounts, because otherwise I’m going to spend every dime I make up there!  I’m sure I will be starting yet ANOTHER blog, detailing my Alaskan adventures.  I can’t wait to get started.

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Until next time,

D.

 

Thoughts On January 1, 2015 at 10:23 PM January 2, 2015

Filed under: Dreams and Passions,Looking Forward — DDKlingonGirl @ 4:27 pm
Tags: , ,

dawn pic

Who do I want to be in a year?  Where do I want to be?  There is no way to know, NO way to know, what the future will bring, but … but what?  I stopped that sentence and didn’t know what to say.  But odds are whatever the future brings will be survivable with the right attitude?

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What are my dreams?  What do I want to see come to pass in the next year?  I mean what do I REALLY want to see?  First, I want to see Daughter S. healthy and happy.  Whether she is working at a job or attending school or both.  I want her to take pride in her health and her life.  I want her to make an effort to be alive.  I’d like to see Daughter J. happy and safe.  If she is married to The Boyfriend, then so be it.  I want to see The Boy happy and continuing to do well in school.  I’d like to see him taking pride in his health and grooming.  I’d like to see him begin to formulate a dream or a plan for his life.  What does he want to do or be for a career, and how can he make sure it happens?

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And now, what do I want to see for me, for myself, come to pass in 2015?  Who do I want to be?  I want to be a person who cares more about people.  Not just who pretends to care, but who genuinely cares.  I want to be a person who smiles with enthusiasm at people going out as I am coming in, people on the elevator, people in line behind me.  I want to be real and honest.

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I want to find out how to live within my belief system.  What do I really believe?  Do those beliefs by definition necessitate a certain course of action vis. morality and religion?  Does belief in the existence of things define how I live my life, or just inform my life?

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I want to enjoy my gifts.  I want to enjoy my ability to sing, my love for theater, my talent at writing.  Maybe all in the same place, maybe not.  I want to exercise those gifts, strengthen them, hone them, develop them.  I want to start and finish a major writing project this year.  I want to be published in some printed media beyond blogging.

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I want to be a person who loves and accepts herself.  I want to look at myself in a mirror and see someone of value.  I want to love my body because of the things it allows me to do, not hate it because of the things it hinders me from doing.  I want to lose weight and get healthier and fit into the cute clothes I rescued from the garage.  I want to believe I am beautiful always.

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I want to identify other goals and dreams.  Where to I really want to be?  What do I want life to look like?  What will it take to accomplish that?

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I want to find a different job.  One that will pay well and allow me to accomplish my goals and dreams, but also one where I have a contributory value.  One where I am making a difference and being challenged.  I want to not be afraid of the fact that ONE of the possible careers I just described is Teacher.

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I want to enjoy every day, be present in the moment, and reject the negative.  I want to be a source of inspiration, encouragement, and strength for my friends and family.  I want my 2015 to have an overall theme of love and joy, strength and determination, growth and exploration.  I want to forge my path with purpose and yet be open to possibility.

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In short, I want to Live, with a  Capital L!

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Until next time,

D.

 

Just Another Manic Friday November 30, 2012

Hello all!

*bungee jumping vom Dortmunder Fernsehturm; Pla...

Y’all, I live in a state of emotional bungee jumping.  If you’ve been reading me longer than five minutes you know this, and today is one of those days.  Today is a day where my body feels like nothing so much as leashed power.  Like if you could stick the right electrodes on me I could power a small city.   Today is one of those days where I want to do things like go climb mountains with Sherpas.  Do meditative yoga at sunrise with a bunch of monks in a temple somewhere.  Kiss my soul mate at midnight on New Year’s Eve at the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.  Make love on a bearskin rug in front of a blazing fire in a snowbound cabin in Alaska.

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It all started when I was awakened at about 3:30 this morning by the noise from the living room where one of the cats was attempting to violate a package of cookies the kids left in there.  I got up and took it away from her and put it in the fridge.  Then of course I couldn’t get back to sleep.  I just lay there and tossed and turned and flipped and flopped.  I killed a little time doing some exercises.  (Yes, you can exercise while lying in bed.)  I did some leg lifts and butt squeezes and crunch-ish things, some arm presses against the wall over my head.  Stuff like that.

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By the time I got bored with that, it was about to get light outside.  I decided it had been a while since I’d watched a sunrise, so I rolled over and pulled the curtain back from the window and started watching the darkness lighten.  There was only one star in my view and it was a great big bright one.  I decided I’d watch it continuously until it got so light I couldn’t see it anymore and see how long it took.  This was about 6:30.

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So I lay there and held the curtain back and just watched.  The light crept upward and the star I watched got smaller and dimmer.  A couple of times I took my eyes off it and thought it had gone, but then I’d find it again.  Finally, it just disappeared.  It was 7:18 a.m.  The sun still wasn’t actually up.  And I started thinking about how that star is still there, and when I go to bed again, if I look out the window, there it will be.  Some things are always there whether you see them (and acknowledge them) or not.

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So when I wrote all the above, I was flopped across my bed with Clairol #43 on my hair, scribbling furiously across the back of a transcript of something I printed out and brought home from work.  Now I am AT work, and today is what I might call Fashion Experiment Day.  I was in the mood to do something different, so I’m wearing a rather blindingly bright neon yellow A-line thing (it’s either an oversized shirt or a short dress) over white pants, with robin’s egg blue ballet flats.   Dabbling in color makes me happy.

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Yesterday was my twin daughters’ 19th birthday.  I wanted to do a long, mushy post about how amazing and wonderful and fabulous they are, but I got busy at work and didn’t get around to it.  But let me just say that they are two of the brightest spots in my universe, and I don’t know what I would do without them.  They represent all I ever wanted from the time I was in middle school:  to be a mom.  I understand now that there’s a lot more in the world to be experienced than just having babies, and if I could do it over again, I would probably go do some of that other stuff first, but make no mistake:  I would not trade those two amazing young women for all the baguettes in France or all the monks in Tibet.   Happy Birthday, my girls!

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Until next time,

D.

 

On the First Day of a New Year: Plans, Goals, and Things to Look Forward To! (Pt.2) January 1, 2011

Cinderella Castle at the Magic Kingdom, Walt D...

Image via Wikipedia

Hello all.  Again.  Earlier today I posted about my reflections on last year and the year to come, but I didn’t really touch on my specific goals and dreams for this year.  Last year I wrote that I wanted 2010 to be a year of transformation.  Primarily, I wanted to transform my very obese body into a smaller, healthier one.  Surprise, surprise- I managed to do that!  Not completely, of course.  I had much too far to go, to expect that I could complete that goal in only one year, but I made great progress and began to change bad food habits into good ones.  Along the way I’ve lost almost eighty-five pounds.  Absolutely, I’m proud.  And again, surprised with myself.  I don’t think, when I started, that I really thought I’d do as well as I have on Weight Watchers.  I think I thought I’d do it for a few weeks or a month and then give up.  Thankfully, I have learned persistence in this one area.  (Hopefully it will come in others, but that’s another post.)  I have stayed on WW for a year, continued to try to improve my habits, and remained determined to see it through to Goal. 

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This year, I’ve thought about what I hope to accomplish, both in my weight loss efforts, my career, my parenting, my writing, and my personal relationships with God and humanity.  I think the theme I want to hang upon this year is Action.  Last year was transformation; this year is action.  Physically, I want to learn to be more active.  You know, I have never loved exercise.  I’ve always hated it.  I love to read, I love to write, and I love to sing, but physical exertion?  Not so much.  I have blamed it on my physical problems- flat feet, weak ankles, etc., but the truth is, I just haven’t learned to love it yet, to the extent that I become a dedicated regular exerciser.  Sure, I’ve experienced pure exhilaration when I’ve been exercising and just for the briefest moment, felt like I could learn to really love moving my body, learn to be an athlete.  Unfortunately, those moments just never lasted very long!   The truth is, I DO have abnormally flat feet and weak, painful ankles, but if I made it a priority to get my ankles checked out and get fixed whatever is messed up, and bought good, supportive socks and shoes, using my feet to help me exercise would probably not be difficult at all.  Or I could find ways to exercise that do not involve impact on my ankles.  Either way, there are solutions to the problem but I’ve never bothered to find them and make them happen.  2011 is going to be the year I change that. 

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So what I look forward to in this year is accomplishing that change:  searching and finding some physical activity that I enjoy, that will help me improve my overall health.  Because in my opinion, my first year of WW was just a natural result of reducing the amount and improving the quality of the food I had been eating.  The weight was bound to come off.  I had nowhere to go but down.  But THIS year.  This year, if I want to make it past where I am now, and continue on into an even smaller, fitter body, I know without question that I am going to have to GET. MOVING!  I look forward to that- I really do.

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But the idea of becoming a person of action doesn’t just mean in the physical sense.  I want to get up and take care of things that need taken care of.  I want to keep my house more clean.  I want to take care of homemaking things that I’ve been putting off, like decorating, landscaping, yard work, and furnishing.  I want to write or call people when they cross my mind.  I want to write letters.  I want to meet friends for dinner and do things together.  I want to get more involved in church activities (I mean other church events outside regular worship).  I want to find someone to talk to about the things I need answers for, and I want to devote myself to more prayer and Bible study, so that I can know the Truth and it can make me free.  (in a multitude of ways!)

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Basically, I want to feel like I am a participant in my life and the world, and not just a spectator.  I know, I’ve said all this before, and probably more than once.  But I want to learn how to live and not just exist!  I want to go places.  I know that in 2011, I will be going at least one place, thanks to my amazing, selfless, wonderful mother.   That surprise I mentioned a couple of entries back, that the kids were getting for Christmas?  My mother is taking the entire family to Disney World.  None of us have ever been there before.  It will be a great vacation, and hopefully a fun family trip.  We will enjoy it and enjoy spending the time together. (Even if I have to drop a valium bomb on the entire family!) 

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The girls will start their senior year in 2011 and The Boy will leave behind the Single Digit years, turning 10 in May.  There will be many things to think about and many things to experience in 2011.  Hopefully, there will be closure on some old things and fresh beginnings on some new things.  I plan to become a person of motion and action in this year, and perhaps I will have as great success in this as I had in making 2010 a year of Transformation.  Here’s to accomplishing goals and meeting challenges!

Until next time,

D.

 

 
The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

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