The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Nostalgia and Anticipation! May 29, 2013

Hello all.  This will be relatively short, as I only have half an hour left at work to write.  I promised in my last post before all the tornado stuff to keep you updated about the Little Theater audition for Les Miserables, how it went, and the results and all that.  But first I also have to say, I am super nostalgic this week, because exactly one year ago this week, I was on the biggest cruise ship in the world, cruising the Caribbean for the first time ever in my life, and you guys…I wanna go back so badly!  I absolutely cannot wait until my next opportunity to go on a cruise.  I told the kiddos if I had the money I’d take them back again in a heartbeat, but Oh! what I wouldn’t give to go on a cruise with just me and a Significant Other!  The romance, the beauty, all that sickening stuff.  🙂

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AND exactly TWO years ago, my whole family was at Disney World thanks to my incredibly generous mother, who took all of us to Disney to help celebrate her retirement.  It was something she had promised the grandkids a long time ago, and she saw the opportunity and took it.  So I keep looking back on that too, remembering how much fun we had together, and even though there were moments that were not so pretty, I would definitely do that trip again too, if I had the chance.

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Ok, so the auditions.  It was Saturday, May 18.  I had felt really nervous and undecided about it, right up until I woke up the morning before auditions, and the theater group’s Facebook status was something about just coming to watch if you were nervous or undecided, checking it out, seeing how things went, and coming back on the second day if you wanted to audition.  Y’all, I cried.  I know that sounds insane, but it was like a message from God, telling me I needed to at least GO to the auditions on Saturday, whether I went ahead and sang or not.

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So on Saturday morning, I got up, showered, etc., tried to put together an outfit that looked confident, but not desperate.  I drove into town, singing along with my warm-up exercises that I had added to my audition CD.  I was among the first people there, because when I originally called about it, the lady I talked to said to come early.  I parked outside and waited around until I saw someone else go in, because I wasn’t sure if I was at the right door, and I’m just a big chicken- that’s how I roll.  So I went in, signed in, had my picture taken, and went to go sit in the auditorium and be nervous.

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I almost immediately struck up a conversation with another lady sitting there who looked about as nervous as I was.  We chatted a while and she was very friendly.  It turned out that she was from a nearby town, and a member of the same type of church I attend!  (By the time it was all said and done we had exchanged phone numbers and added each other on Facebook!)

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So first they took all the auditioners who were using sheet music because the pianist had a prior commitment and we needed to get her out of there.  There were probably at least 30 folks there to audition, and about 2/3 needed the pianist.  It immediately became apparent that this… was going to be SO. Much. Fun!  Just watching people perform and listening to them sing was so inspiring.  Some people were really good, others pretty good but really nervous, but the audience was always extremely supportive and respectful.  Everyone was applauded, which was really encouraging.

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Now, all this time leading up to the auditions, I had been so nervous, so worried that I wouldn’t be good enough compared to everyone else, but by the time I had my name called, something weird had happened.  I realized I was at least as good as most people there, and had as good a chance as any of them to be selected, and something in my just sort of went, “Go for it!”  So I took my spot on stage, assumed an attitude, and waited for the music.  When it came, I just pushed down my fear and nervousness and performed.  I strutted, I danced a little, I made eye contact with the audience, and I felt like a seasoned pro.  As a reminder, my audition song was “When You’re Good to Mama” from Chicago.  They had said in the information that the time limit was 2 minutes, but at first they were not stopping anyone.  By the time they got to me, they were cutting people off at 2 minutes, and when they stopped me, I literally had like 15 seconds to go, if that.  But oh well.  I was able to do the best of the song, and felt like a smashing success.  My new friend was right after me, and she also put it all out there and was really great.  She was auditioning for an actual part, the one I would have gone for if I’d had any experience.  But she’s braver than I am, because she’s a member of the church, and her songs have some profanity in them, and I could never have dealt with the disapproval of those who would come watch the show and gasp at me saying those words, even as a character.

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So anyway.  There was another day of auditions on Sunday, and then we waited.  And waited.  And WAITED.  Finally on Wednesday afternoon late, they posted the cast list on Facebook, AND….. I made it! I got in the chorus, and my new friend got the part she wanted.  Now it’s just a few more days until rehearsals start June 3rd.  It’s a huge time commitment- rehearsals are every weeknight from 7-10 pm, but I can’t wait.  It’s going to be awesome!

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Until next time,

D.

 

Senior-itis = My Life In A Blender September 14, 2011

"I always try to balance the light with t...

Image by turtlemom4bacon via Flickr

Hello all.  The overarching theme for my life lately is ‘CRAZY’!  It has seemed like every time I’ve wanted to sit down and write here, I would be suffering from terminal scatter-brain-itis, and completely unable to translate all the things I wanted to say into a semblance of order.  So much has been going on-   I had my 39th birthday on the 5th, met my sister’s new boyfriend, started a fitness challenge at my gym, marked the anniversary of my Grammy’s death, marked the anniversary of 9/11, and dealt with The Boy’s “misdeeds” at school.   There has been so much I’ve wanted to say about all those things.  But on top of all that, I also happen to be the mother of two High School Seniors. 

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This is monumental.  There are so many things they need money for, so many issues like college applications, scholarship applications, ACT tests, deadlines, driver’s licenses, senior pictures, job searches.  The list is endless.  My brain has not stopped wheeling for weeks.  The problem is, I haven’t really started tackling these issues yet.  Daughter S. has not taken the ACT, nor does she know what college she wants to go to (other than the Dallas Art Institute, which is way out of range, both financially and transportationally.)   She hasn’t identified any scholarships she wants to apply for, and she doesn’t have her driver’s license, and she only seems to practice driving about once every three weeks!

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Daughter J. is a whole different set of stresses.  She has learning disabilities and most likely would not be able to handle traditional college.  There are agencies like the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation, which are in place for students like J., to help her with getting into either a vo-tech course or some other type of job training, and to help her find a job that suits her.  We haven’t talked to anyone from this agency, although her teacher did give me a contact name just last night.  The problem with Daughter J. is she sometimes doesn’t think in realistic terms.  She wants to work for Disney and sing and act.  She’s never acted in her life and never even done a solo in her high school choir class, but this is what she daydreams and fantasizes about doing.  I think her Plan B is to do something involving working with animals, like at a veteranarian’s office or something similar, but we haven’t turned in any applications.  (As a side note, I have to say I don’t know where J. gets her whole acting/singing fantasy.  It’s not like she has a mother sitting here singing Broadway tunes into her microphone fist and channeling Idina Menzel in Wicked!)

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So basically we are dealing with a lot of issues and a lot of questions and a lot of possibilities, but we can’t seem to lay out a plan and take the first step.  Part of the problem is financial.  I haven’t signed up Daughter S. for the ACT because I don’t have the fee.  I haven’t put Daughter J. in Driver’s Ed because I didn’t have the fee at the time a class was open.  We haven’t ordered their Senior stuff because I don’t have the money.  I’ve been needing to get a second job for a while now, but just put it off because I absolutely hate the thought of so much time away from the kids!  But I know I’m going to have to just bite the bullet if I want to get all this taken care of, because I can’t seem to depend on either of the people I’ve been married to, to help much.  Another part of the overall problem is transportation.  The girls can’t really consider getting jobs because the jobs they might want are in a nearby town about 7 miles away and they can’t drive and don’t have a car anyway!  That, and I feel like school is their job right now.  Daughter S. has a crazy schedule this year, a lot of hard classes, and I don’t think she needs to worry about a job at this point.  If she had her DL and a car and was running around all the time, I’d make her get a job to pay for her own gas, but since she doesn’t…

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I guess what I’m trying to say is it feels like my life got thrown in a blender and hit frappe’!  There are so many things I need to do, and not enough money or time to do them all!  As another example, I still have never cleaned out the garage and my mother is planning to have a garage sale at her mini-storage shed this weekend.  (I know, and here I sit blogging, right?)  I have continued my fitness journey and I am participating in a fitness challenge at my gym, which is a 7-week event where we earn points for showing up for workouts, turning in food logs, attending accountability meetings, meeting a personal goal, doing workout challenges, and for pounds lost and body fat percentage lost.   I’m planning to kick a$$ and take names in this challenge, incidentally.  I’ve logged my food intake every day so far (today is only Day 5.  Ha!) and I’ve gone to two workouts this week and I plan to go to two more.  At Weight Watchers this week, I lost 4.2 lbs, bringing my total since January 2010 to 116.2.  (!)  Unfortunately I still have between 95-98 to go if I want to be a WW leader, which I do.  I have to be in their recommended range, and that’s what it will take.  (Actually, I can get a note from my doctor if I hit a weight that is the best place for me and I can’t go any lower.)   We’ll see what happens.  I may be able to hit the Magic Number easier than I expect, now that I’m becoming an exercise person too.  (Still weird for me, that.)

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Next entry I’ll talk about meeting my baby sis’s new boyfriend and my Grammy’s death and 9/11.  I have a poem I’m planning on sharing that I wrote when the Oklahoma City bombing happened, that I felt fit on 9/11 just as well as April 19. 

Until next time,

D.

 

 

All the Reasons I’m Thrilled With Life. Or Not. June 24, 2011

Functioning of the rack and pinion.

Image via Wikipedia

Hello all.  I regret to say that my plans for the next couple of entries have been somewhat derailed.  I had planned to share a day-by-day account of the Disney trip, straight out of my journal, some of which was actually written on the plane.  (all together now- Wooooww!)  Unfortunately, I haven’t had time.  I have a life, you know.  It’s a busy, busy little life.  I exercise.  I go to work.  I kill my car.  I serve cake at the weddings of young people who are goo-ily disgustingly yackingly in love.  I stay the night at my parents’ house when they’re not there because my house is being bug-bombed. 

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So yeah, those are definitely the things I have going on in my life at the moment.  Let’s start at the top.  I have continued going to TurboKick classes at TFP.  I have progressed to a tolerable level of uncoordination and I’m working on perfecting new moves.  I’m occasionally brave enough to do something called a triple-step, and also a burpee.  Or is it a Burpy?  Some exercise move where your hands go down, your butt goes down, and you jump your legs out behind you and back, and then jump up in the air when the music says “POWER!”  Except I don’t jump, because I can’t really get this body off the ground yet.  Or I’m scared to even try.  Or something. 

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The work thing is nothing new.  I am working at the same place.  The new opportunity I mentioned a few entries back, I haven’t heard anything new about yet.  I do know that I dread the next week or so of work, because we’ll be short-handed. 

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Which leads me to the next thing- serving cake.  A sweet girl I work with is getting married tomorrow.  We’re closing work early so we can all go.  I am the cake person.  I have to really watch my attitude, and as my beautiful baby sister advised, “Don’t barf on people’s happiness.”  I’m happy for the kid.  Everyone deserves to be happy.  The groom was a friend of my sister’s when they were in school.  In fact they went to prom together, as friends.  If my enthusiasm seems lukewarm, that’s because it is.  I’m a jealous old harpy.  People who are all lovey-dovey schloopy goopy make me want to yack. 

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I skipped one, didn’t I.  My car.  The story of how I killed it.  Well, I was just trying to have fun with my kids.  Trying to do something together as a family besides sit on our butts in front of the tv and count our dying brain cells.  So I took them to the nearest beach, which is at a lake just outside of town.  I was trying to pick a place to park, and I drove off the edge of the paved area, and I didn’t notice, when making the choice to park there, that the drop-off was significantly deep.  I bottomed out and apparently I damaged my steering rack.  I didn’t know for sure I had done anything serious at first.  The car drove just fine.  I wasn’t having any problems with it until a few days ago (AFTER I had driven it all the way from Ardmore to Norman and back!) when I noticed it was way out of alignment, and then the steering suddenly started seizing up when I tried to make a left turn.  So I managed to get it to a shop today, and they said it was a bad steering rack, and that they’d have to order a part for it, and the part and labor and all would be over $500 to fix.  Now I’m trying to figure out what to do about it.  I can’t afford to fix it without help.  My mother might be able to help me, but I don’t know if she’ll be able to or not. 

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Anyway, I’m mostly mad at myself for doing something so stupid.  I’m worried that we might have to cancel our cruise next year.  I’m wondering if God is telling me I’m not supposed to be going on the cruise.  The cost of repairs on the car is almost exactly the same amount it would have cost to get our passports.  I had been trying to decide whether to go ahead and get them or cruise without them.  The current rule is that they are not required for U.S. citizens taking a close-looped cruise (one that begins and ends in the same US port.)  But they are strongly recommended because if something happens that requires flying home from a foreign port, they ARE required for that.  Otherwise you’ll be delayed waiting for an emergency passport and permission to leave the country and enter the U.S.  by air. 

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ANYWAY!  We’re staying the night at my mother’s house, despite the fact that she’s out of town, because The Dictators (our cats, Hitler and Mussolini) have brought fleas into our house and I am being forced to get rid of them by bug-bombing.  So while we’re refugeeing from the Hot Shot Foggers, I’m also carless, and I have to work at 8am, and someone will have to pick me up and take me everywhere, and I am serving wedding cake at approximately 2:45 tomorrow, and I may be forced to stab my next year’s vacation plans in the heart with a sharpened rusty spoon.

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Why shouldn’t I be totally thrilled with life?

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Until next time,

D.

 

I Should Be Sleeping! (But Aren’t You Glad I’m Writing, Instead?) May 26, 2011

Filed under: Family,Mood Swings — DDKlingonGirl @ 7:57 pm
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Hello all!  Well, this is it.  The event I’ve been waiting for since before Christmas has arrived.  Our trip to Disney World is upon us.  I’m supposed to be sleeping right now.  The kids are.   Sleeping like little logs.  My parents will be collecting us at approximately 3:00 a.m.  The suitcases are in the van.  Our carry-on bags are by the door, ready for literal last-minute items.  I have studied, researched, planned, questioned, thought, re-thought, made notes and lists, shopped, packed, bagged, and re-arranged.  I am thoroughly prepared for this adventure.  Which begs the question, WHY THE HECK AM I SO NERVOUS? 

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I was texting my little sister, who is also going on the trip, and she tried to get me to relax a bit, but the results were short-lived.  Actually, nervous isn’t the word for what I’m feeling.  I’m not exactly nervous, or scared, or worried.  Just… anxious?  Apprehensive?  I dunno, there’s a whole list of adverb (or are they adjectives?), none of which are precisely right.  I want everyone to have fun, and I want to get to see and do the things I want to see and do.  I want to have the energy to accomplish all my park touring.  I want to not overeat.  I want the kids to enjoy the trip.  I especially want Mom to enjoy the trip, since she’s paying for all of it, and since the whole thing is a celebration of her retirement. 

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I just thought of something.  If I want the kids to enjoy the trip and not be worried, scared, or nervous, then I need to seriously put on a happy face and not act all nervous about stuff.  They need to see me cool, calm, collected, confident, and chillaxed.  I’m a little concerned about airport security, hoping none of our stuff gets thrown away, and I’m hoping none of our bags get lost, especially not the one with all our sneakers in it.  But beyond that, there’s nothing really to worry about.  There are about 40-zillion Disney employees all over the place to tell you where to find anything you need, how to get from place to place, and if necessary, take your hand and walk you to where you’re going.  Clearly labeled buses, pre-paid tickets, custom made touring plans, and scientifically packed suitcases.  Absolutely nothing to worry about. 

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I’m having a little trouble with one thing, though.  Mom just called me and wanted to know if I wanted to take my car over there and put it in the garage.  I can’t make up my mind about that, because I hate to make it even more obvious that nobody is home, but I really don’t want my car to get further damaged if there’s another hail storm like the one we had the other day that dropped baseball- to softball- sized hail and broke about 3 out of every 5 windshields around here! (One of which was mine!)  On the other hand, if it does get more damage, maybe it will be enough to cover my insurance deductible and I can turn it in on insurance.  I doubt it would do that, though.  My stupid deductible is about as much as the whole car is worth! 

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Anyway.  I already told Mom to just stick with the original plan and come pick us up, which she plans to do, sometime between 2:45 and 3:00 a.m.  With that in mind, I’d better get to sleep.  Or perhaps I’ll go fold laundry.

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Until next time,

D.

 

Life is Weird. But… May 9, 2011

Wildflowers of Michigan: Viola (wild violets):...

Image by juggernautco via Flickr

Hello all.  You know what?  Life is just weird.  I don’t really have a direction for this entry, by the way.  I’m just sort of talking out of my head for a bit.  There’s so much on my mind, and as usual, I’m hoping I can find a way to articulate it all, effectively. 

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One thing I wanted to write about a few days ago was on the topic of marriage, or more appropriately, divorce.  This was on my mind because on May 3rd, I secured my “man-made piece of paper” (divorce decree) that superceded the previous “man-made piece of paper” (marriage license) and now I’m legally single again.  I don’t know what I wanted to say about that, exactly.  I’ve retyped this sentence almost 10 times and I still can’t figure out what to say.  I’m divorced.  AGAIN.  I was taught in my church that because I didn’t divorce for the reason of adultery, that I can never remarry again without being guilty of adultery myself for as long as I am in that marriage.  I really struggle with that, and not just because it would mean spending the next 50 years alone.  I struggle with whether anything I’ve been taught is really what God says or whether it’s largely a human being’s faulty, flawed, skewed, biased, HUMAN interpretation of God’s will.  I struggle with whether it’s possible for any human to really know what God’s will is, and how you can know if what you think God’s will is, is right! 

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It’s not like it matters.  I don’t have any prospects at the moment.  I don’t have even have any prospects of having prospects!  I am singularly single and thoroughly unattached.  My most recent former husband and I are still good friends and we’re still close enough that we could go out on a date every so often if we wanted to.  (I know that makes absolutely no sense to anyone reading this, but it’s way too complicated to explain.  I’m not even sure I understand it.  We didn’t divorce because we didn’t love each other, and that’s all I can really say about that.) 

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Anyway.  There’s more on my mind than just my newly minted single status.  My grandmother has been very ill for the last week, and is scheduled for surgery the day after tomorrow.  She may not make it through the surgery.  I wanted to send her a card, to tell her that despite her fears, I believe that she CAN survive the surgery and regain her health, that she has been through a lot of stuff in her life and survived, because she’s a strong woman.  I know this, because *I*am a strong woman, and a strong woman can’t come from a line of wimps!  But I didn’t get the card to my parents, who are on their way to be with her during her surgery.  I told my mom on the phone tonight what I wanted to say to my Grandma, and hopefully it will sink in a little. 

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You know, I was so scared that Grandma being sick and having surgery and possibly not making it would derail our Disney trip plans.  We’re supposed to leave May 27th, and I was very afraid we’d have to reschedule and I felt soooo guilty about that.  But I know that it’s normal to not want something that has been so long anticipated to be postponed, and that it doesn’t mean I don’t love my grandma, or that I don’t care if my dad loses his mother.  Of course not.  But now I’m choosing to believe that Grandma will make it through the surgery and be recovering nicely when we get on a plane to Florida.

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On top of all that, I’m also just kinda marveling a little, both at myself and at how strange life is becoming.  I have mentioned previously (I know, a lot) that I’ve been exercising.  Today I finally tried the last class, the one that intimidated me the most, Hip Hop Hustle.  It was fun, and not even as hard as I thought it was going to be.  (I still can’t really do those steps and moves right, but I’m trying!)  The crazy part is that today…  I went to both TurboKick AND Hip Hop Hustle!  I just can’t believe it’s me doing all this!  Me, the person who used to say it was crazy and nuts and insane to work out more than once in a day, or indeed, to get up at 5:00a.m. for the sole purpose of exercising!  The person whose favorite thing to do in the whole wiiiiide world is to lie in a horizontal position and read a book!  The person who has always hated physical exertion “like, worse than liver!”  Yet, here I am.  See, the thing is, I talked about motion, about action, and movement and so on, but I don’t think I really saw this one coming, this “me as a regular exerciser” thing.  I don’t think I reeeeally thought I’d ever become an active person.  But I’m enjoying it. A lot! 

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That’s what I mean when I say life is weird.  Not just once, but two times now, I’ve divorced someone I loved, who still pretty much loved me, but who it just wasn’t a good idea to stay married to anymore.  I’ve always hated exercise, thought of myself as a complete NON-ATHLETE, and I’m working out 5X a week and planning to take part in a 5k with mud and obstacle course!  What. The. Heck!?  And more than that, I’m starting to realize that although there were things I loved about teaching, I don’t want to be a classroom teacher in a K12 public school!  There is an opening right here in my local school and although part of me still feels the urge to apply, I am acutely aware now, that I don’t love trying to make teenagers behave.  I don’t love having to teach to a test.  I don’t love being held responsible for the learning (or failure at learning) of kids who may or may not be having their most basic life needs met outside of school, like a place to live, food to eat, and love and nurture!  But I loved trying to nurture the kids.  I loved trying to show them how much I cared and wanted them to learn, and wanted the best for them.  I just wasn’t good at keeping them under control so as to facilitate that learning process!

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I actually have a possible career change coming, and I’m not going to go into detail about it until I know for sure, but I’m really excited and hopeful about it, because it seems like a very good fit for me with regard to who I am as an educator.  I’m praying it is where God wants me to be and as such, that it works out positively.  Stay tuned for more on that.

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All in all, I am in a very non-angst-y place at the moment.  I’m happy.  I’m active.  I’m full of faith that my Grandma is going to be fine, and that we will get to take our long-awaited trip, and that I am about to find where I belong in the career field I trained for, which is sooooo happiness-inducing!  In short… dudes, Life. Is. Sweet!

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Until next time,

D.

 

This Is Crow. This Is Me Eating Crow. Any Questions? March 20, 2011

Three-toed Tree Sloth enjoying a snack.

Image via Wikipedia

Hello all!  Short hiatus, wasn’t it?  Yeah, I found out that when I spend unmentionable amounts of time reading message boards like CruiseCritc, CruiseMates, and DisBoards, I have to have a place to share my rantings, ramblings, and obsessions when there is not a proper forum for them on the boards, or when I feel like I might get immediately flamed, burned in effigy, or worse… ignored!  (GASP!)  So here I am.  I toyed with my layout here, changed it around a bit, and promptly went back to the way it was.  I am sooooo a creature of habit who is NOT OK with change!

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Y’all, I’m suffering from a case of terminal obsession.  All I can think about is the cruise.  I know, I know.  It’s FOURTEEN MONTHS AWAY!  I want to not think about it and live normal life, but it occupies an abnormal amount of my thought time!  The Disney trip, although much closer, is a distant second.  I feel like the Disney trip is pretty much squared away, with the exception of the RideMax touring plans I have to make, but I can’t make those until about a month out.  And of course, there’s shopping for new clothes, and last-minute stuff, but I’m putting that off for about another month as well. 

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I need to focus on updating the status of my everyday life themes, like:

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1)  Weight Watchers.  I finally jumped out of the rut and had a couple of good weeks.  I’m afraid I may have backslid this week, though.  We’ll see.

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2) The boy and his funny stuff.  For example, we finally watched The Blind Side the other night, and you know that part at the end where she warns Michael that if he gets a girl pregnant “out of wedlock,” she will drive up to his school and cut off his penis?  Well, when Daughter S. and I were watching that part and laughing our heads off, MY little man covers his entire face with his hands and says, “I KNOW what ‘penis’ means, Mom, and I do NOT wanna talk about it!”  Y’all- We. ROLLED!  He was not amused.

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3) Work.  Didn’t get the job I applied for, nor ever even heard from them, but have been tapped at my current job by default of being the only one cabable of doing it, to become the new specialist in an area we haven’t been serving much thus far- print services.  I’m not really enthused.  Further, the Girl Drama continues, thanks to She Who Must Not Be Named, AKA Crazy Co-Worker.  She is dishing out her Radioactive Silent Treatment to another co-worker this time, and I get to be the one she cozies up to and pretends to be all buddy-buddy with when she’s pointedly ignoring the other girl.  If it continues tomorrow, I’m going to tell her to grow up, and then I’ll be in the doghouse too.  Seriously.  We are all sooooo ‘way too old’ for this stuff.

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4)  Housework and Garage- EPIC FAIL!  I haven’t turned a tap around here lately (to use my mom’s favorite expression) and it is causing me immense amounts of angst and self-loathing as I continue to scroll, click, read, type, and browse my way through the message boards every spare moment I have.  Unfortunately not enough so to make me get the heck up and DO SOMETHING!  Until now, anyway.  Starting as soon as I finish this post! 😀

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5)  Divorce.  Ladies and gentlemen, I have finally filed the papers.  Officially.  It’s been a long time coming, since we’ve been separated for two years.  I am, in alternating moments, glad I will finally be officially free, sad that it all failed so miserably, and oddly, jealous that he has been totally ignoring me lately in favor of his two best friends.  I have to call the judge’s office tomorrow to make an appointment.  When it comes right down to it, I can freely admit that he is nothing but dead weight to anyone in his life, and I’m fortunate to be free of him, and if he happens to read this, which is really unlikely, well… I’m sorry, but truth hurts.  It is what it is.

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6) Parenting- I have not been very successful of late, at getting the kids to get up off their butts and do anything around here, primarily because ** I ** have not been getting up off my butt either! (DUH) But that all ends tomorrow.  At worst, it will be a hideous fight.  There may be pouting, grouching, slamming, and other variations on a theme, but I have decided that I am going to put away the PlayStations and the laptops from now until the end of April, at least.  Literally package them up and lock them away somewhere.  We have GOT to get a handle on housecleaning and cleaning out the garage, and this is the only way.  We will get them out and use them on Sunday afternoons only, unless their behavior makes it necessary for me to revoke the Sunday afternoon electronics time.  This is drastic, but a crucial step in both getting the house and garage in a decent state, AND bringing an end to my cruise obsession.  On orders from my therapist, The Golden Goddess, I was supposed to ban myself from the computer about 2 weeks ago, but I never did.  I cheated.  Well, I now know I have no choice but to bring it all to a screeching halt.  I will update here on Sundays, and I will savor and enjoy my blogging time, but otherwise, I am going on an Internet Fast!

*

And with that I must acknowledge that it is bedtime for munchkins, and I am going to finish up here and get them ready to go back to school tomorrow.  (Kicking and Screaming the entire way, I’m sure.)  They have enjoyed their Spring Break Week Of Imitating Tree Sloths, and now it’s time to “get back to the grind” as Daughter S. glumly announced over supper earlier tonight.  Oh well.  One more ‘nine weeks’ and then it’s Disney World, baby!  Woo!

*

Until next time,

D.

 

My Future Oscar Winner: The Drama Has GOT to be Good for SOMETHING! January 6, 2011

Wishes fireworks shows in the Magic Kingdom Wa...

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Hello all!  You know how I’m always saying that my son will someday either end up on The Oscars or America’s Most Wanted?  Well, I’ve decided.  It needs to be The Oscars.  This boy has got such an incredibly strong imagination, and he’s so extremely emotional!  Not that I think his mood swings are an act at this point, but I think he could use his tendency toward drama to really take him places!  Consider tonight, for example:

*

We had been having what I called a Disney Dance Party, which was my way of getting these little couch potatoes moving in preparation for our trip to Disney World.  Since it’s still too dark for us all to go for a family walk when I get home from work, I decided we were just going to put on some peppy music and boogie it out as hard as we could for 20 minutes a night, working up to longer times as the trip gets closer.  So we had done that tonight, dancing to Sean Kingston‘s Fire Burning, Jay Z and Kanye’s Down, and Lady Gaga’s Disco Heaven.  (And Daughter J. insisted on listening to two songs from A Goofy Movie.)  I showed them a few exercise moves like holding a squat against the wall, and just holding a crouch for as long as we could.  I helped The Boy do a few sit-ups, and we finally stopped and sat down.  I told them we would find a calming, relaxing song to cool down to, and then I got a bright idea that turned out to be not so bright for The Boy. 

*

I sat on the edge of my chair, with my arms stretched out and down against my knees.  I told them I imagined all the negative energy, dark stuff, bad moods, and ugliness shooting out of my fingertips as I stretched them downward, until my entire body was empty of anything negative.  Then I turned my palms up as I rested them on my knees and told them to imagine positive energy, light, and warmth being poured into their hands until it ran up their arms and filled up their whole chest and exploded outward.  So The Boy decided to give this a try, and my poor Little Man had been ‘receiving the positive’ for about half a minute when he just burst into tears!  He said he was crying because it was so beautiful and that he imagined little white angels falling into his hands.  He sat on my lap for a while and I tried to explain to him that I wanted him to just feel relaxed and positive, not cry!  So he got back on the couch and gave it another try and this time, he almost started crying again, because he said he saw himself being hugged by God! 

*

And this after he had just earlier in the evening been grouching and griping and completely unmanageable and unreasonable about every tiny thing, up to and including having a tantrum because his hamburger bun came apart as he tried to take it out of the bag!  I swear I do not know what comes over this kid! 

*

And at the same time, he  is such a comedian!  His birthday is four months from today, and he’s been bugging me about this Harry Potter merchandise he wants, something he found on one of those dvd inserts where they advertise wands and sorcerer’s stones and time-turner necklaces and golden egg pendants.  And $300 pewter HP chess sets.  You get the idea.  So he’s been bugging and begging, and since he had done nothing but be a hateful old grump to Daughter J. all evening, I told him he wasn’t getting anything until he could learn to love his sister and get along and be kind!  So they are both sitting on the couch, and a moment after I tell him this, he LAUNCHES  himself across the couch and wraps his arms around her and puts this silly, happy grin on his face.  Then when she looks over at me like “WHAT is he doing?”  he snuggles his head into her side again and grins even bigger.  Then he cuts his eyes over to me and asks “What do you think?  Can I have it now?” 

*

SIGH!  I’m hoping the ‘receiving the positive’ technique will help him sleep better.  He’s always complaining that he can’t sleep, because he keeps thinking about scary things that he’s seen in video games and movies (which he was NOT allowed to watch by me, for the record!  The movie was something Daughter J. let him watch and the video games were something he watched his father play).  We were supposed to do a family project for counseling and make him a dream catcher from stuff we found around the house, but we haven’t done it yet.  He’s usually satisfied with me singing him a few songs when he gets in bed. 

*

So.  We’re going to stick with the Disney Dance Party idea and hopefully will build up some stamina in my little chubby-bubbies and prepare them for tackling the World.  For my own part, I’ve been making extra trips up and down the stairs at work for the last few days.  Sadly, I think tonight’s boogie wonderland might possibly have resulted in a few stress fractures!  What I wouldn’t give for a couple of foot transplants!  Have they invented those yet, and if not, WHY NOT!? 

*

And while we’re on the subject of Disney, readers should perhaps be aware that this particular topic will be increasingly on my mind in the weeks to come, because our trip is 4 months and three weeks from tomorrow!  I discovered an online message board that has the potential to become the mother of all obsessions for the next few months, www.DISboards.com , and my family is beginning to suspect cult activity!  I’m sure by the time we leave for our trip, they will have the intervention lined up for the moment our return flight lands, and all my Facebook friends will have blocked me from their feeds because they feel they may hurt someone if they see the word ‘Disney’ from me just once more!

Until next time,

D.

 

 
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