The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

On the First Day of a New Year: Plans, Goals, and Things to Look Forward To! (Pt.2) January 1, 2011

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Hello all.  Again.  Earlier today I posted about my reflections on last year and the year to come, but I didn’t really touch on my specific goals and dreams for this year.  Last year I wrote that I wanted 2010 to be a year of transformation.  Primarily, I wanted to transform my very obese body into a smaller, healthier one.  Surprise, surprise- I managed to do that!  Not completely, of course.  I had much too far to go, to expect that I could complete that goal in only one year, but I made great progress and began to change bad food habits into good ones.  Along the way I’ve lost almost eighty-five pounds.  Absolutely, I’m proud.  And again, surprised with myself.  I don’t think, when I started, that I really thought I’d do as well as I have on Weight Watchers.  I think I thought I’d do it for a few weeks or a month and then give up.  Thankfully, I have learned persistence in this one area.  (Hopefully it will come in others, but that’s another post.)  I have stayed on WW for a year, continued to try to improve my habits, and remained determined to see it through to Goal. 

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This year, I’ve thought about what I hope to accomplish, both in my weight loss efforts, my career, my parenting, my writing, and my personal relationships with God and humanity.  I think the theme I want to hang upon this year is Action.  Last year was transformation; this year is action.  Physically, I want to learn to be more active.  You know, I have never loved exercise.  I’ve always hated it.  I love to read, I love to write, and I love to sing, but physical exertion?  Not so much.  I have blamed it on my physical problems- flat feet, weak ankles, etc., but the truth is, I just haven’t learned to love it yet, to the extent that I become a dedicated regular exerciser.  Sure, I’ve experienced pure exhilaration when I’ve been exercising and just for the briefest moment, felt like I could learn to really love moving my body, learn to be an athlete.  Unfortunately, those moments just never lasted very long!   The truth is, I DO have abnormally flat feet and weak, painful ankles, but if I made it a priority to get my ankles checked out and get fixed whatever is messed up, and bought good, supportive socks and shoes, using my feet to help me exercise would probably not be difficult at all.  Or I could find ways to exercise that do not involve impact on my ankles.  Either way, there are solutions to the problem but I’ve never bothered to find them and make them happen.  2011 is going to be the year I change that. 

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So what I look forward to in this year is accomplishing that change:  searching and finding some physical activity that I enjoy, that will help me improve my overall health.  Because in my opinion, my first year of WW was just a natural result of reducing the amount and improving the quality of the food I had been eating.  The weight was bound to come off.  I had nowhere to go but down.  But THIS year.  This year, if I want to make it past where I am now, and continue on into an even smaller, fitter body, I know without question that I am going to have to GET. MOVING!  I look forward to that- I really do.

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But the idea of becoming a person of action doesn’t just mean in the physical sense.  I want to get up and take care of things that need taken care of.  I want to keep my house more clean.  I want to take care of homemaking things that I’ve been putting off, like decorating, landscaping, yard work, and furnishing.  I want to write or call people when they cross my mind.  I want to write letters.  I want to meet friends for dinner and do things together.  I want to get more involved in church activities (I mean other church events outside regular worship).  I want to find someone to talk to about the things I need answers for, and I want to devote myself to more prayer and Bible study, so that I can know the Truth and it can make me free.  (in a multitude of ways!)

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Basically, I want to feel like I am a participant in my life and the world, and not just a spectator.  I know, I’ve said all this before, and probably more than once.  But I want to learn how to live and not just exist!  I want to go places.  I know that in 2011, I will be going at least one place, thanks to my amazing, selfless, wonderful mother.   That surprise I mentioned a couple of entries back, that the kids were getting for Christmas?  My mother is taking the entire family to Disney World.  None of us have ever been there before.  It will be a great vacation, and hopefully a fun family trip.  We will enjoy it and enjoy spending the time together. (Even if I have to drop a valium bomb on the entire family!) 

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The girls will start their senior year in 2011 and The Boy will leave behind the Single Digit years, turning 10 in May.  There will be many things to think about and many things to experience in 2011.  Hopefully, there will be closure on some old things and fresh beginnings on some new things.  I plan to become a person of motion and action in this year, and perhaps I will have as great success in this as I had in making 2010 a year of Transformation.  Here’s to accomplishing goals and meeting challenges!

Until next time,

D.

 

 
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One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

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