The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

One-Two, Cha Cha Cha! January 18, 2011

Hello all!  I wanted to write earlier this morning, but I wasn’t able to, so now I’m trying to remember all the things I wanted to talk about, so forgive me if this post is a little incoherent!  Our title today refers to a slightly odd moment I was having this morning in front of my bathroom mirror.  You’re having trouble figuring out what I could possibly be talking about, aren’t you?  Don’t worry, you know I’ll explain it in its extraordinarily verbose and detailed entirety.  I’d never let you down.  Oh, right, the story.  Sorry.  Here it is:


So I took the kids to school this morning.  Daughter S., Daughter J., and The Boy were all bright eyed and bushy tailed… oh, who am I kidding,  I was driving around with three human slugs.  They hate getting up in the morning.  When I try to wake him, Little Man gives a sound that can only be described as a Moo.  We get a great kick out of our morning conversation: 

“Good Morning, Little Man, time to get up!”


“No mooing.   Time to wake up!” 


“No mooing.”


“No mooing!” 




You get the idea.  And then Daughter J. has a bad, very bad, nasty habit of not rolling her rear end off the bed until 7:40.  And then she has to scratch her itchy feet.  Then she has to go in the bathroom and wash her hands and stand there with her hands under the running water for ten minutes until I yell at her to quit wasting water or go get a job and pay the water bill!   And finally she’s the last one out the door, after the rest of us have been sitting in the car for 5 minutes and the first bell is ringing at the high school that very moment!!


So I took them to school, all the while carefully laying out what I expected them to do upon their return home, when I am not there to stand over them with a whip or a gun or a head-thumping device and make sure they do what they were told.  (FYI- they didn’t do any of it.  I called them when I left work at 6:00 p.m. and they hadn’t started any of what I had told them. Fortunately for the little work-ethic-challenged beasties, they had made enough progress by the time I got home (7:00 p.m. after gas station and groceries!!) that I was able to skip the punishments I had planned for them, which, let me assure you, involved pain and torture of the “Your playstations and ipods are in time-out for a week!” kind. 


I know, you’re still waiting for the Cha Cha story.  Now the shirt I threw on today was a black button-down blouse (say that 10 times fast!)  with bright stripes of color on it.  I like this shirt for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that it was recently retrieved from the “This shirt will die a painful death if I try to squeeze into it” giveaway pile in the garage.  It’s a shirt that says “Hey! Check me out! I’m getting skinny!” 


I caught a glimpse of myself in the glass of the front door as I was coming home from dumping my kids off on their poor, unsuspecting teachers taking my dearly beloved, wonderful children to participate in their daily education experience.  I thought, or maybe even said aloud, “Who’s that hot, skinny woman walking up to my front door?”  When I got in the house, I dumped my stuff on the couch and went to the bathroom.  I was admiring myself in the appropriately named Vanity mirror, and thinking “Oh yeah, go me, I’m gettin’ skinny.  I look HAWT!”  And then for some completely unknown reason, I looked myself right in the eyes and did a little dance, bobbing my head back and forth and snapping my fingers, and saying “One-Two, cha cha cha, Three-four, cha cha cha!”  Then I laughed manaically at how nuts I am!


I think it all had to do with the fact that today was weigh-in day at Weight Watchers.  I knew it would be a good day, because I’ve been pretty darn good this week, if I say so myself.  I even knew I had enough leeway to switch my “Very Lightweight Weigh-in Pants” for my thinnest blue jeans. and it wouldn’t affect my loss.  And wouldn’t you know, I lost another 3.2, which brings my total up to 85.6 for the year.  Tomorrow, I will have been doing WW for a year.  I am so very proud of myself, and my efforts, and my choices.  I’ve learned to keep going, even when I totally screw up.  I’ve learned that it’s just all about making healthy food choices one meal at a time and making it a lifestyle change.  I’ve learned that I am not a Sumo-wrestling lumberjack, and I don’t need to eat like one!  (I was so proud of myself the other day, and it was such a minor thing… I ordered a 6-inch sub at Subway instead of a footlong, and didn’t worry that I’d starve before supper!  See?  Little steps.)


I know I have a long journey still ahead of me.  I have many pounds yet to lose.  But I know I can do it.  I just have to keep dancing!  Say it with me now:  One-Two, Cha Cha Cha!


Until next time,



The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.


Smart and surprising

Mostly Bright Ideas

Some of these thoughts may make sense. But don't count on it.

Mad Scientist.Crazy Mom

Welcome to my laboratory: five kids on a farm

A Clean Surface.

simplicity, organization, inspiration, minimalism, humor...and reality

Princess Nebraska

If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. If would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in a cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it. -Frances Hodgson Burnett

She Likes Purple

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Crazy with a side of Awesome Sauce

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

musings of a madwoman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self


One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

happily ever me

a life in progress

mighty maggie

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Writing Finger

Translations of Poetry from Galician and Spanish into English

The Better Man Project ™

a journey into the depths

An Unexplored Wilderness

A writer's journey