The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Have I Mentioned Lately How Much I Love Books? July 21, 2010

Hello all.  I got the idea to write another entry about books from a comment I left on Mighty Maggie’s blog.  (Humorous blog.  Never dull.  Go read her! Wait, finish me first!) I have written previously about the different books I’ve read and the books that are now movies, and the books I can’t help buying from Hastings.  But now!  Oh, now I have two classics to read that I’ve never gotten around to reading before, and I can’t wait to get more into them.

I borrowed them from baby sister.  As mentioned recently, she is an interior designer, so she has a lot of things on her shelves that are basically just meant to look good.  But her back room bookshelf is just where she keeps her books, and after she explained her system (books organized by genre and then by author) she was kind and trusting enough to let me borrow a couple of them!  I’m sure she had misgivings- as much as I love books, I’ll be the first to admit I’m not as careful with them as I could be.  They tend to get abused, a little.

In spite of her fears, she loaned me two books:  Vanity Fair and Mansfield Park.  I realize it’s hard to believe that as an English major I managed to graduate without reading either of these, but I did.  We could get into a whole long debate about canon and classics and so forth, but it’s enough to say that I did read a lot of other books in college, and I enjoyed reading them.  Except this one book Dr. Spencer assigned that I never DID get through, whose title escapes me now, but it was dreadfully boring, the first chapter or so that I actually read, so I gave up.  OH!  Tristram Shandy.  Lord in Heaven, but I struggled with that book!

Anyway.  I started reading Vanity Fair last night.  It was very difficult to get into at first, but I’m thinking it will get better.  I had told little sister she was going to get her books back this weekend when she brings Daughter S. home, but now I’m afraid she will not.  I won’t even be finished with VF, let alone MP.  I’ve been writing too much, so she’ll just have to wait. 

And speaking of writing.  I was looking through my poetry files yesterday, trying to find the poem I wrote for the last class reunion, to read it again at this class reunion, because I’m just an attention hound like that.  Anyway, I started finding all this work I’d written and while some of it makes me want to throw on a fake mustache and move to another country, some of it makes me just want to do a little victory dance and go “Damn, I’m good!”  I’ll put some of it on my poetry page soon.   I know I said a while back that I would be putting up a lot of new stuff on that page and none of it has materialized, but never fear.  This time I mean it. 

Hmm.  I started to talk about how posting poetry is so much more difficult for me because it’s generally much more personal and deeply felt than my blogging, but really it’s not that different.  My writing in this blog is personal and I often write about very deep feelings and hurts and fears, but somehow poetry seems different.  I have more apprehension about the critique of my poetry than my blog.  Many times, the Therapy Journals just feels like something I do, but the poetry is something I’ve given birth to- it’s part of me.  And much of it is written from my worst pain and deepest dark places, so it’s pure vulnerability scrawled across the page. 

Anyway.  I’ll pick out some particularly good ones and put them up as soon as I can.  And since I used that word, particularly, it reminded me of the new book I’d really like to read.  I’ve been seeing reviews for it in magazines, and mostly I just like the title.  But it’s called “The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake.”  It’s about this girl who realizes she has an ability to “taste” people’s emotions in the food they cook.  And through their emotions, she discovers all their secrets and all the things she never really wanted to know about anybody.  It sounds very intriguing.  If somebody really loves me, they can get me that book for my birthday.  It’s coming up in September, you know, but I’m trying not to think about it, because I’m turning 38 and that feels like Almost Dead!  I know, it’s ridiculous to be thinking like that, especially because one never knows when one might unexpectedly be dead.  38’s not that old.  That’s why I’m trying to learn to love life every day and every minute.  It’s a work in progress, but I’m getting there. 

Until next time,



Recovering From a Slump with Crumb Crunchers, Casseroles, and Classics! June 14, 2010

Hello all.  Ok, people, I’m going to try really hard to say something entertaining here.  It’s just that I’ve recently been coming up empty in the writing department.  I know anybody who’s written longer than five minutes has suffered from this syndrome, but I usually don’t have so much trouble!   

It’s not just my writing that’s suffered.  I haven’t been doing much of anything lately.  Not sure why. Ever since school has been out, it seems like I do nothing except go to work, come home, check the Facebook, and then stick my nose in a book of some sort.  (I’ll tell you about that in a moment.)  Occasionally I fix supper for the crumb-crunchers.  Other times I tell them to go scrounge around and find something for themselves. 

Speaking of the children, it seems they have recently been on a mission to drive me completely insane.  Saturday when I was at work, they all got in a big fight, even though one of them had just that day gotten home from being away for a WEEK at church camp.  I made the mistake of buying them a secondhand PS2 and some games from a customer at work, and they couldn’t agree on who got to play it.  So after much ugliness and crying and foul language, after Grandma had to come over and administer beatings upon their backsides, I grounded them for two weeks from the video games and made them write notes to Grandma apologizing for ruining her day. (Her 40th anniversary, which already had to stink, because Dad was on his way home from out of town and she was in between 12-hour shifts at Uniroyal (Michelin) tire plant. Then she had to go referee rotten grandkids who told her they hated her when she spanked them.  So yeah.) 

Aside from the Saturday incident, they have been ok.  They’re leaving to go spend a few days at their father’s house tomorrow.  Not sure how long they’ll stay.  Until they get sick of it, I imagine.  I’m anticipating they’ll be there 3 or 4 days.  Their dad would be happy if they stayed for a week, but he knows Daughter S. well enough to know she’s too much of a homebody for that. And once she decides it’s time to end the visit, she pretty much gets her way and the other two have no choice but to go home with her. 

Tomorrow is my Weight Watchers meeting.  Joy.  We’ll see how I do, but I am trying not to have any expectations whatsoever.  I’ve tried to be good at home, but we had a church dinner yesterday, and let me just say we have some great cooks at our church.  I tried to eat mostly vegetables, but this being The South, the vegetables in question were prepared with plenty of extra added fat.  Like bacon in the green beans, carrots and potataoes soaked in the juice of the roast they were accompanying, peas prepared ‘en salade’  (pea salad with boiled eggs and mayo in it), and a beautiful broccoli and cauliflower salad that had red, yellow and green peppers in it, as well as celery, and which was dressed in some kind of Italian-type dressing that was probably not fat-free.  There was also Grandma Pat’s Very Famous and Well-Loved Poppyseed Chicken Casserole and Mrs. Neill’s Legendary, Textbook Perfect Nestle Tollhouse Cookies.  Lord, I love church dinners!

So anyway.  Not sure what to expect on the scale tomorrow, because although I think I’ve been pretty good overall, I’m not sure because I’ve failed to consistently track what I’ve eaten and know my points levels.  I’m going to have to get back on it super strict tomorrow, but I also have another Class Reunion planning meeting tomorrow night after work.  At a restaurant called Catfish Corner.   I think this is a conspiracy. 

As for the books I’ve been reading… well, I made the mistake of going to Hastings with the kids the other night.  Hastings is a place from which I rarely, if ever, emerge without having bought at least two or three new books.  On this occasion I purchased the Stephanie Meyer novella The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, a companion to the Twilight Saga.  AND…. I bought myself a new copy of an old classic and have been basically worthless ever since because it takes so long to read and I can’t do anything until I’ve finished it.  Between last Wednesday night and last night (Sunday) I re-read Gone With The Wind for the millionth time!  I bought the cheapest paperback copy they had, which I kind of regret, because it wasn’t a great edition.  There were a lot of words I noticed had been changed, and the foreword was mostly pointless.  I tried to start reading it out loud to Daughter S. because I read her most of the Harry Potter books and it’s been something we’ve enjoyed doing together, even though she’s perfectly capable of reading for herself.  Unfortunately though, she bailed after the first chapter and said it was boring.  We’ll see if I can drag her back and make her listen to a little more and give it a chance. 

So that’s an update, and a desperate attempt to just jump in and get back in the blogging habit before I lose it completely.  I’ve got one daughter starting driver’s ed in a couple of weeks- that should provide PLENTY of material!

Until next time,



The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.


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