The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Sweating, Hatching, and Breathing! May 16, 2013

English: Drops of sweat

English: Drops of sweat (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello all!  Technically this is the second post of the day, but really the first, since the first-first was a  re-blog.  I want you all to know that this post is coming to you from inside a universe of sweat, both literal and mental.  For one thing, I just finished exercising.  At work. Never let anyone tell you that working in a church building is a bad deal, because hey- at what other job can you exercise and write a blog all in the same day and still get paid.  Ok, there are probably a lot of others I’ve never even thought of, but just let me have my moment.

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Anyway, the phone hasn’t been ringing much today, and I’m caught up on all my other tasks, and in the face of that boredom my weakness just crumbled.  I found myself scrounging in the fridge in the fellowship hall and discovering leftover triple chocolate fudge cake from their last gathering.  Now, I knew if I ate it, I’d be down to about ONE Weight Watchers point left for the day, but, sadly, I didn’t choose to stop myself.  So in order to combat my weakness, I decided to try to hike up some points on my ActiveLink monitor by going for a jog in the upstairs hall.  And that is the source of the sweat.  A) Heat rises, and it’s hot up in that old hall.  B) I just did something I’ve never done before in my entire life.  Now for some people, what I’m about to tell you is probably your warm-up for the actual exercise, but for me it was a pretty big deal:  After climbing the stairs to the second floor, I jogged up and down that hall…for 20 minutes straight!  Initially, I set my timer for 12 minutes.  At the end of the timer, I thought I might collapse, but instead, my mind said, ‘Hey, why not try for 20?’ So without stopping, I set my timer for another 8 minutes and kept going, and I finished it!  I was all proud of myself for the 10 straight minutes I did a couple of days ago, but this is a whole new dimension for me.  (At least I hope it will be a whole new dimension, as I want to lose 40 lbs. in the next four and a half months before The Blathering in Charleston.)

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The mental sweat is coming from the audition for my local Little Theatre that is looming on Saturday like a date with death.  A few days ago, I had talked myself out of it.  I told myself I didn’t really want to do it anyway, and that if I am selected, it will mean a huge time commitment once rehearsals start- 7-10 pm every weekday for about a month, and who has time for that, right?  But here’s the deal.  This is just another one of those big steps for me, those ‘hatching’ moments where I take a chance on doing something just because I’ve always thought it would be fun.  This is just. like. Charleston.  Despite my misgivings and fears, I have to give it a try, or I will hate myself.  Seriously.  If I let this Saturday and Sunday go by without forcing myself to go to that audition, I will feel like a giant failure.  I really don’t know what the big deal is.  I mean, I’m not even trying for a part- just the chorus, for crying out loud.  Maybe part of me is secretly hoping they’ll think I’m good enough and just give me a tiny small part, but I don’t even care about that.  Really.  I just want to say I tried it, I took a chance, and I went for it.

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Ok, calming down now.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Repeat.  Oh, that reminds me!  I was about finished with the 12 minute section of my jog when I noticed the Bible verse on the bulletin board at the end of the hall.  I thought it was perfect for the moment, and that if/when I do another race of some sort, I will have this put on a t-shirt:  Psalm 150:1, which reads in part: “Let everything that has breath praise God!” So for the rest of my jog, I prayed thankful prayers that I had breath (albeit huffing and puffing breath), that I was physically able to even attempt to move, that I would have strength to finish the goal I had set for myself, both for today and for the next few months.  And I finished today’s, so woot-woot for me. 🙂  I know you’ll be holding your breath to hear how the audition goes.

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Until next time,

D.

 

The Opposite of Yesterday March 20, 2013

Filed under: Lovin' Life,Mood Swings,Victories! — DDKlingonGirl @ 11:19 am
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
JOG fleet heading for the finish Solent race.

JOG fleet heading for the finish Solent race. (Photo credit: JOG offshore yacht racing)

Hello all.  Ok, I just re-read my last post, and y’all- I am such a whiner-baby!  Really.  I am so thankful for all my friends, family, and assorted others who endure repeat after repeat of posts like yesterday’s where I am always on the same darned hamster wheel, yet still continue to read me- it makes me feel so loved.  BUT… you know what?  Sometimes, just sometimes, getting it all out and venting a little can be a good thing.

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Specifically, I’m thinking of the exercise thing.  Yesterday was a workout day, and I wanted to get my C25k workout in, but I figured the high school track was still closed and I didn’t really want to do it around my neighborhood.  Ridiculous, I know.  Just bear with me.  So it was about half an hour before I had to leave work, and suddenly it occurred to me:  Why not do my workout… at work?  I work in a church building.  My actual office area is this huge wide-open space, tucked away from the rest of the building, just right for this sort of thing.  So I did it!   I started the app, set my phone down on the corner of a desk on the far side of the room, and took off!  My knees were still a little achy, and I definitely wasn’t setting any land speed records, but I did it!  And since I wasn’t carrying my phone with me, I wasn’t tempted to keep watching the time and feeling overwhelmed.  This was Week 3 Day 1, and I completed it perfectly!  I jogged both of the 3-minute segments and both of the 90-second segments, AND I did arm exercises as well during the walking parts!  And the 3-minute jogging segments that I was so worried about? They were not bad at all!  The workout seemed to go by really quickly, and I felt happy and satisfied with myself, and just… pretty fierce!

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AND… I also came up with the idea to set a timer on my phone to help me hit my WW ActiveLink baseline.  Every 45 minutes or so, I’ve been walking from my little corner in the building alllll the way up to the opposite front corner of the building and going up and down the stairs a couple of times.

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AND… I studied the Help and FAQ sections on Twitter so I kind of get more what it’s all about now, and I might feel a little less inept at actually using it.

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AND… the kids will be going to visit their father for a few days this week, so I will have some time available to cultivate friendships or relationships by maybe inviting someone out to do something.

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There, see?  Ranting, raving and venting can actually sometimes serve a purpose.  Once you’ve gotten all the aggravation and frustration out of the way, you can actually start to consider solutions.  Which is also the focus of this blog post I read today.  I wish I could write more like she does, but at least I can share it and point people in her direction.  Another goodie I found was this post.  I read the obituary she mentioned and thought, “What a great way to go!”

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Basically, I’m on the opposite end of the swing from where I was yesterday, which is always good.  Another thing I’ve been wanting to talk about is that I use the YouVersion app on my phone, and I found a new version/edition/whatever the right word is, of the Bible that I am really enjoying reading.  Now, I know that some of these “contemporary English” versions of the Bible are suspect at best and completely corrupt at worst, but this one seems pretty good so far.  I have been reading it every day this week, which I have needed to do for a long time but just haven’t done.  This version makes it really easy.  I decided I was going to start at the beginning and read the whole thing when I was flipping through and found the part where Jesus is being tempted by Satan, you know?  And in the older English versions he says “Get thee behind me, Satan” but in this one he says “Beat it, Satan!”  I just burst out laughing.  That has never before happened while reading the Bible, and I thought it was pretty great.  So anyway.  I will have to do some more research and see if this version has any serious flaws or problems, but for now, I highly recommend The Message if you use YouVersion.

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Well, I’m behind schedule on my ActiveLink hike, so I’ll shut it down here for now.  Thanks for reading!

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Until next time,

D.

P.S.  I was looking for images of crossing the finish line, breaking the tape, etc. for this post, and couldn’t find one I liked, but I just thought this sailboat picture was beautiful and happy.

 

 
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