The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Get My Drift? October 27, 2010

Filed under: Family,General Observations — DDKlingonGirl @ 8:42 pm
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Hello all!  I could be wrong here, but I think these “30 Days” posts were supposed to be… um… consecutive?  Oh well.  For my personal purposes, I guess I can change the title to 30 Posts of Truth-ish Which May or May Not Appear on Consecutive Days or In a Timely Fashion!  So anyway, today’s topic is:  Someone you didn’t want to let go, but who just drifted.  This is a great topic.  I can speak to this topic. 


There are so many people I can think of right off the top of my head who have been close friends in the past, people I never intended to let go of, friends who were part of my growing up, or even blood family.  Mostly I’m thinking of people from junior high and high school.  I can think of 5 girls right off the top of my head who were dear friends at some point between 6th and 12th grades.  One of them was actually my very first friend.  Out of those 5, I know approximately where 4 of them are, but we talk almost never, like if I happen to run into them in WalMart or something.  The 5th one, I don’t have a clue where she is or what happened to her.  I loved them, I miss them, and I hope and wish the best for them.  Jamie, Rhonda, Kim, Carrie, and Billie Jo- I miss you!


It’s even worse when you let family drift.  My oldest cousin is a complete stranger.  I have a lot of cousins, probably about thirty.  Many of my younger cousins are virtual strangers.  Of course we still love each other, because we’re family, but it’s kind of sad because the next time some of us see each other will probably be when the family patriarch, my wonderful, awesome, extraordinarily special grandpa, passes from this life, may God forbid.  He’s 83, and if he lived another 30 years, it wouldn’t be enough.


Then sometimes there are some people in your life who seem to be drifting, and you wonder if you should throw out a line and pull them back to you or just say goodbye and let them go on their path.  Ride their wave off into the sunset like Wilson on Cast Away.  I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a certain space of time, for a specified purpose.  As hard as it is to do, I think when we feel people drifting, we have to examine what their purpose was in our life and whether or not that purpose has been fulfilled. If it has, maybe it’s ok to just let them go.  Light a candle and set it adrift on a wave and watch as it fades into the horizon.  (Remember that scene in Karate Kid II?)  If it feels like they are still in our lives for a reason, like they have a purpose to fulfill in us, then we need to make sure we stay connected to them and keep the lines open so we are fully blessed by what they bring to our lives.   


I haven’t even touched on the casual friends we meet in church and school and work and various other settings, people we really enjoy and would like to get to know better, but somehow we never take the time to connect and actually get close.  We all know life is busy.  Everybody gets wrapped up in their own lives and their own dramas.  Sacrifices get made, and sometimes those sacrifices are potential relationships.  We either never learn or we forget how to make friends and how to maintain friendships.  My personal feeling is that I would really like to become one of those people who actually has a social life, who has friends I go out and do things with, friends that I talk to on the phone or text, or meet for coffee rather than just check their Facebook page every so often just to see what they’ve been up to.  I think it would be really great to feel like I have more people around me who enrich my life and make it more interesting and enjoyable.  People to whom I feel close and connected.


In the meantime, I will settle for the joy I had this afternoon on my way home from the City with my son.  We had accomplished our goals for the day, done what we needed to do, had some fun, talked, spent time.  It was pretty perfect.  As I was driving back toward home on the interstate, I just felt a deep, profound sense of peace and wellbeing that I couldn’t exactly name or define.  It came from just enjoying the quality time I had with The Boy, talking to him, listening to him, and being happy together.  I couldn’t necessarily explain it, but I was grateful.  Maybe sometimes people can drift even when you see them every day.  Maybe you can be drifting while sitting in the same room.  Maybe the secret to avoiding losing people to “drift” is just to be thankful for every moment.  Thankfulness keeps us coming back for more. 


Until next time,



The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Shawn L. Bird

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