The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Sweating, Hatching, and Breathing! May 16, 2013

English: Drops of sweat

English: Drops of sweat (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello all!  Technically this is the second post of the day, but really the first, since the first-first was a  re-blog.  I want you all to know that this post is coming to you from inside a universe of sweat, both literal and mental.  For one thing, I just finished exercising.  At work. Never let anyone tell you that working in a church building is a bad deal, because hey- at what other job can you exercise and write a blog all in the same day and still get paid.  Ok, there are probably a lot of others I’ve never even thought of, but just let me have my moment.

*

Anyway, the phone hasn’t been ringing much today, and I’m caught up on all my other tasks, and in the face of that boredom my weakness just crumbled.  I found myself scrounging in the fridge in the fellowship hall and discovering leftover triple chocolate fudge cake from their last gathering.  Now, I knew if I ate it, I’d be down to about ONE Weight Watchers point left for the day, but, sadly, I didn’t choose to stop myself.  So in order to combat my weakness, I decided to try to hike up some points on my ActiveLink monitor by going for a jog in the upstairs hall.  And that is the source of the sweat.  A) Heat rises, and it’s hot up in that old hall.  B) I just did something I’ve never done before in my entire life.  Now for some people, what I’m about to tell you is probably your warm-up for the actual exercise, but for me it was a pretty big deal:  After climbing the stairs to the second floor, I jogged up and down that hall…for 20 minutes straight!  Initially, I set my timer for 12 minutes.  At the end of the timer, I thought I might collapse, but instead, my mind said, ‘Hey, why not try for 20?’ So without stopping, I set my timer for another 8 minutes and kept going, and I finished it!  I was all proud of myself for the 10 straight minutes I did a couple of days ago, but this is a whole new dimension for me.  (At least I hope it will be a whole new dimension, as I want to lose 40 lbs. in the next four and a half months before The Blathering in Charleston.)

*

The mental sweat is coming from the audition for my local Little Theatre that is looming on Saturday like a date with death.  A few days ago, I had talked myself out of it.  I told myself I didn’t really want to do it anyway, and that if I am selected, it will mean a huge time commitment once rehearsals start- 7-10 pm every weekday for about a month, and who has time for that, right?  But here’s the deal.  This is just another one of those big steps for me, those ‘hatching’ moments where I take a chance on doing something just because I’ve always thought it would be fun.  This is just. like. Charleston.  Despite my misgivings and fears, I have to give it a try, or I will hate myself.  Seriously.  If I let this Saturday and Sunday go by without forcing myself to go to that audition, I will feel like a giant failure.  I really don’t know what the big deal is.  I mean, I’m not even trying for a part- just the chorus, for crying out loud.  Maybe part of me is secretly hoping they’ll think I’m good enough and just give me a tiny small part, but I don’t even care about that.  Really.  I just want to say I tried it, I took a chance, and I went for it.

*

Ok, calming down now.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Repeat.  Oh, that reminds me!  I was about finished with the 12 minute section of my jog when I noticed the Bible verse on the bulletin board at the end of the hall.  I thought it was perfect for the moment, and that if/when I do another race of some sort, I will have this put on a t-shirt:  Psalm 150:1, which reads in part: “Let everything that has breath praise God!” So for the rest of my jog, I prayed thankful prayers that I had breath (albeit huffing and puffing breath), that I was physically able to even attempt to move, that I would have strength to finish the goal I had set for myself, both for today and for the next few months.  And I finished today’s, so woot-woot for me. 🙂  I know you’ll be holding your breath to hear how the audition goes.

*

Until next time,

D.

 

Just Keep Swimming April 1, 2013

Filed under: Mood Swings,Sweatin' It Out! — DDKlingonGirl @ 4:35 pm
Tags: , , , , ,
Medieval Fair in Norman, Oklahoma, United States.

Medieval Fair in Norman, Oklahoma, United States. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello all.  Feeling the urge to write today, but not really feeling what I want to say, so that tells me I’m just looking for an outlet.  A vent.  An escape hatch.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to do any of that today.  I wanted to write a post last week all about the marriage equality thing that was causing firestorms all over Facebook and elsewhere.  I wrote some notes on things that I wanted to say about it, but I can’t seem to find the right moment.  Sadly, I haven’t spoken my mind because I know how it will be received, and quite frankly, I’m just not up to the criticism.  That should give you a clue.

*

My new presence on Twitter (@DDKlingonGirl) is taking off rather slowly.  I have “protected my Tweets” so that people have to send me a request to follow.  I did this because I didn’t want any fake profiles, spammers, or porn-promos following me, and I’ve already had to reject about 10 of them.  Also because I really didn’t plan to stay on there after The Blathering, unless I make some really good friends through the experience.

*

Ok, maybe I do need to say one vent-y thing, and I know I’m not in a solo boat here:  I hate mood swings!  In the dictionary under ‘just want to cry’ it says see me.  Some things in life just keep turning up like a bad penny, and it seems like they show up for no other reason than just to jack with your mind.  My eating habits, my thoughts about church stuff, my plans for my son’s education, and a few other things come to mind.  I wish I had insurance, because I’m about 99% sure I need to be on meds for bipolar, at the very least.  (My regular long-time readers’ response:  “Ya THINK!?”)  Or maybe I am just a moody sort of person who needs an attitude adjustment from time to time?

*

Anyway.  It’s all good, because as soon as I get off work (about 45 minutes from now) I plan to go to my mom’s work fitness center and do my C25k.  Just hit the treadmill until I can shake this off.  And also, I’m going to look forward to next weekend.  I’ve got a new experience planned!  I’m going to Medieval Faire up in Norman.  Partly because I love that stuff and I’ve always wanted to go to one, but primarily to check out one of the Irish bands that’s playing.   I used to talk to one of the band’s members on an online dating site, and I’ve never heard him play.  🙂  That sounds like stalking, doesn’t it?  Maybe I shouldn’t admit to that.  Oh well.

*

Until next time,

D.

 

What Today Taught Me October 22, 2012

Hello all.  Well, remember in my last post how I said I had to sneak up on the whole ‘getting back into an exercise routine’ thing?  Guess who got up this morning and decided to stop sneaking and start attacking?  I haven’t done a Turbo class at TFP since, oh, probably May, but today I woke up and did a Turbo DVD right in my own house, and … I survived.  I briefly considered posting a Fb status afterward:  If you’re still red in the face 30 mins. after exercising, is that a good thing or a bad thing?  I was.  But I didn’t.  I’m pretty proud of myself for getting up and exercising when the thought crossed my mind, instead of just lying there and talking myself out of it, which I very easily could have done.  On the other hand, I don’t want to get too cocky- it’s only one day, and I can already feel my knees beginning to go “WTH?”  Anybody can do something for one day in a row, right?  But I did discover one thing I am definitely going to need if I’m going to attempt to go back to the Turbo class at the gym anytime in the near future.  Now I haven’t googled it, so I don’t know if they even make these, but if not, they need to:  Thigh Control Workout Pants.  Seriously.  Who can concentrate on trying to master choreography when you’re dying of embarrassment about your jiggly thighs slapping around?  I wasn’t too embarrassed in my own home (chagrined might be a better word), but if I were to try to go to a group class… yeah, I’d either need those magic pants I mentioned or an invisibility cloak!

*

Did you ever have one of those random things happen that makes you wonder if you might be psychic?  Doesn’t usually happen to me, because I’m so oblivious, I usually don’t even know when things HAVE happened, much less that they’re GOING to happen, but the thing that happened today was different.  I was at work, and I was getting ready to go in the kitchen and make some coffee.  There’s a phone extension in the kitchen, but there’s nothing near it to write with or on, in case it rings.  Don’t know why- there just isn’t, and hasn’t been for a while.  So today before I go to the kitchen I get this random urge to take a notepad and a pen with me and put it by the phone so it will be there when it’s needed, just in case.   When I get in there, the phone has been unplugged for some reason, so I plug it back in, put the pad and pen down, and I kid you not, less than 30 seconds later, the phone rang, and it was a call that needed the information written down.  If I hadn’t brought the stuff in there, I would have had to go back to my office to get pen and paper before I could take the info.  (Ok, so it’s not bone-chillingly amazing, but it was kinda cool at the time.)

*

But then something else happened that made me feel like a total dufus, and completely negated the whole psychic thing.  I bought The Boy a learning drills workbook on Amazon.  Its condition was listed as Used- Acceptable.  So I bought it, because it was super cheap, and obviously cheap is good, right?  The book came in the mail today, and every single page in it was completed.  Every page.  First of all, I question why anyone would list an item like that in the first place, but more importantly, I want to know why didn’t it ever occur to me that a workbook, listed on Amazon as used, might have at least some of the pages completed?  And then I realize:  Question number two answers question number one!  They listed it in full knowledge of the fact that some goofball like me would come along and buy it.   At first I thought I might just bust out the giant pink eraser and erase pages as we worked through them, but sheesh, why go to all that trouble when I can just return it, pay a few dollars more, and get a completely clean book (although that is its own kind of hassle)?  Decisions, decisions.

*

So basically today taught me that I MIGHT be a psychic.  And I am NOT a careful Amazon buyer.  And I AM going to get the credit if they haven’t yet invented Thigh Control Workout Pants.  But I’m probably out of luck on that one, too.

*

Until next time,

D.

 

The Dirtiest Thing I’ve Ever Written (Part 2- the REALLY Dirty Part) August 5, 2011

Hello all!  Thanks for sticking with me for this long story.  Where were we?  Oh yeah, we picked up our race packets.  We flashed our IDs and were handed our free race shirt and a large envelope containing marketing materials and the most marvelous thing- our race numbers!  You know, the little bib thing you pin on your chest that has a number on it?  I got one!  It even had my name pre-printed on it.  There was also a little orange rubber strap with a little box on it that I was told was our timer chips.  This racing business is serious, see, and these little orange thingamajigs go around our ankles or on our shoelaces, and they capture our race time!  Who knew?  (My entire team did, of course, because I was the only 5k virgin in the group!) 

 

*

So we had time to kill before our heat, and we took pictures and sat in the car trying to soak up the cool air and get un-nervous.  (I was, anyway.)  Then it was time to line up and we were herded into what can only be called a chute, grouped under a tent and crowded together like so many sheep.  Some guy was giving instructions over a bullhorn, but I couldn’t hear a single word he was saying.  I’m deaf like that.  Then we heard the start siren and we were off!  I’m not sure how many people were in each heat, but I’d bet it was at least 75.  We jogged off down the path.  I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up the jogging too far into the thing, but I wasn’t going to start off from the gate walking!  So we went down the straightaway and around a little curve, where we encountered our first obstacle, a minor one considering what was to come.  It was a tire run, where there were maybe about 10 or 12 tires laid out for us to run through.  Did that with no problem, although I wasn’t breaking any speed records.  I was terrified of rolling my ankles or twisting my knees, because they are my weakest points.  I came to finish, not to finish first.  So we cleared the tires and on we went. 

*

Middle sis and Bro-in-law had long since left me and the youngest behind, because hey, Sis is a fitness instructor and her hubby is in the second best shape of the group.  They amaze me- they ran almost the whole time.  So anyway, we continued the course.  Now I might get these somewhat out of order, but this is basically everything we went through.  I think The Wall was next.  It was a big plywood reinforced wall with ropes hanging down.  The idea was to use the ropes and climb up and over the wall.  I got up to the second knot on the rope, which translated to about 2-3 feet off the ground, and I had to let go because I had somehow caught the rope between my second and third fingers, and I was about to break one or both of them.   Not a good thing!

*

So around the wall we went, down through a little patch of mud, down into a ravine, a dry creek bed sort of thing.  We plowed along through there for a while, and it was difficult because the rocks made it very treacherous for weak ankles.  Finally we came to the next obstacle, which was similar to the rope wall, except it was the side of a ravine and it wasn’t straight up like the wall.  There were ropes hanging into the ravine, which were anchored to trees on the upland.  This was fairly intimidating.  Youngest sis went first, climbing up and over the edge with relative ease.  I tried to let the three skinny girls behind me go first so I might not embarass myself, but they said “We’ll let you.”  Which I think meant, ‘We want to have a good time laughing at your big butt climbing that ravine wall.’  But either way, I got a running start, grabbed that rope and powered on up the wall of dirt.  Sis was there, cheering me on, as I tried to figure out how to get my legs or feet up over the edge.  Finally I was able to get a knee up.  I jumped up and let the obstacle have a little of my rage as I called it a not so nice name.  “That’s right b****!  Woooo!”  Yeah.  I got a little carried away.  I hope the three skinny girls didn’t think I was talking to them.

*

Next, I think was the spider web, a bunch of small ropes crisscrossing the trail, that you had to crawl through.  This wasn’t really hard at all.  Then there was the section they referred to as “Over/Under” which was a series of waist-high walls followed closely by barbed wire things you had to jump over and then crawl under.  Next came a frame with a bunch of tires hanging down that you had to kind of beat your way through.  Somewhere in there was a series of three mud pits you had to go down into and come up out of, one after the other.  Later there was a pond to wade through, about chest deep.  Toward the end was a cargo net, which was like a big playground swingset frame covered in rope net, which you had to climb up and then back down the other side.  This particular obstacle was pretty scary for me- it was pretty high and shaky, and when you got to the top, the hardest part was figuring out how to get one leg over and then turn it back toward the net while trying to keep your footing on the other foot that was still standing on the backside of the net!  Quite an adventure.  Then came the hay bales, the big round kind, that you had to run and jump and scramble over, and finally a long hike to the finish line crawl, where you had to army crawl through the mud under the flags to get to the end.  There was supposed to have been a fire jump in there somewhere.

*

All in all it was a great adventure and I really loved the opportunity to push myself and see what I could do.  The obstacles were not quite as scary as I was afraid they would be, and the walking/jogging in between was more the test of my endurance.  I may or may not do it again.  There is a similar event scheduled right here in my hometown in October.  Odds are, I will find myself once again slogging through mud pits with close friends and family cheering me on.  We shall see.  For right now, this …

My Beautiful Sisters and Me- Mud Warriors! RAAAA!

… will be one of my greatest accomplishments!!!

*

Until next time,

D.

 

PS- The mud on my face was less from the race itself and more from me giving myself a ritual ‘mudding’ like hunters do that ‘blooding’ thing with their first kill!  I did it when I crossed the finish line and got my medal.  Here it is, btw:

The Spoils of Victory!

 

The Dirtiest Thing I’ve Ever Written (Part 1)

Hello all!  I can now say I have really and truly gotten dirty!  This past Saturday was the event I had been waiting for, wondering about, dreaming about, and rattling on about, to anyone who would listen.  For the first time in my life, I am a competitive athlete.  Now THAT, dear friends, is a sentence I never thought I’d utter.  But there it is, right here on this blog, on the public interwaves for all the world to behold.  And I have to say, it feels better than I could have imagined.  Here’s the scoop:

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On Saturday, July 30, my sisters and brother-in-law and I competed in a 5k run.  Not just any run, oh no.  It was The Dirty 30 Race, a 5k fun run, warrior dash, adventure race, whatever you want to call it.  There was mud involved.  Obstacles like rope walls and cargo nets were present.  It was a flat-out funfest!  My youngest sister found it a few months ago and got us all involved.  It benefitted two different charities, The Spero project, and Water Is Life.  I regret to say though, that wasn’t the biggest draw.  The biggest draw for me was the lure of challenge.  The enticing aroma of accomplishment.  In short, I have never been an athlete.  I played T-ball in first grade.  I probably sucked.  I have never, EVER been a person who enjoyed exercise.  But as my devoted readers know, I have made a lot of changes this year.  I have begun working out regularly by taking group classes at a local gym and have enjoyed good results.  I have improved my strength and muscle tone and made an obvious difference the appearance of my body.    This is on top of the transformation I had begun by following the Weight Watchers eating plan since January 2010.  In all, I have lost one-hundred and eleven pounds.  I still have a long way to go, but this is an amazing change for me.

*

So when my baby sister found this race, I immediately wanted to do it.  I was hungry for a chance to challenge myself, to push my limits, to see what this new body could do.  Both my sisters are devoted to fitness, and my bro-in-law has recently discovered the joy of working out, so we all signed up for the race.  Friday night when I got off work, I drove to my sister’s house and we got on the road.  The race took place in Mulhall, Oklahoma, which is about 45 minutes north of OKC, where my youngest sister lives.  My middle sister and her husband and I were going to stay the night at youngest sis’s house and we would all get up and go to the race together the next morning. 

*

I had gotten a really good laugh that afternoon at work.  I was texting youngest sis and asked her if we were making a healthy dinner or if everyone was going to be guzzling protein shakes.  I think my expectations were a little skewed.  I thought they were all looking at this as a serious athletic event that we needed to prepare for with extra excellent nutrition and plenty of rest.  What I discovered was that Mexican food and adult beverages were high on their agendas and protein shakes… were not.  We had a really great time eating good Mexican food and after a few more adventures, we went home and decorated our team T-shirts until almost 1:oo a.m.

*

Our team shirts, by the way, were designed by youngest sis.  She picked out all the necessary adornments, and we had zebra stripes and neon puff paint, and bright bandanas, and it all worked fabulously together.  (In my not-so-humble opinion.)  But finally we finished decorating shirts and hit the sack.  And wouldn’t you know, despite all the extra help in the ‘likely to make you fall asleep’ department, I couldn’t sleep worth a flip!  I’m not sure if it was excitement or fear or just the fact that the room was rather stuffy, but I felt like I got only a couple hours’ sleep, if that.  Not what I wanted to be starting my first ever 5k with!  But we take what we can get, and I woke up slightly before 7, even without an alarm clock, because that is what my sometimes obnoxious body has trained itself to do.  (Yeah, I can’t sleep in, even when I try.) 

*

So I woke up, got dressed in full race regalia (zebra striped bandana on the head, Twisted Sisters black t-shirt with neon-outlined zebra stripe letters and a number 1 on my back.  Because I’m the oldest) and started wondering what was for breakfast.  Youngest sis had made some healthy muffins the day before, and I scarfed one of those.  Later I drank a terrible excuse for a protein shake with too much water and very disagreeable vanilla flavor.  But I figured it was enough to get me through.  Then the rest of the crew woke up and got ready, and we were on the road by a little after 8:oo a.m.  We had to be at the race site by about an hour before our heat time, which was 10:00 a.m., and we weren’t sure how long it would take, although let me just say the likelihood of being late ANYWHERE is almost nil when Bro-In-Law is driving.  Seriously.  The dude has speed issues.  He rarely drives slower than 85. 

*

So we arrived on site and picked up our race packets.   …. To Be Continued!

The Twisted Sisters and Big Bad Brother In Law!

Until next time,

D.

 

Miley Cyrus Immersion/Aversion Therapy and Other Tortures July 20, 2011

Hello all.  Let me start off by saying I’m NOT a Miley-hater.  I’ll just get that out on the table right off the bat, because the title of tonight’s post could be somewhat misleading.  I just chose that as the name for what I’m doing at this very moment.  (Besides blogging.)  Ok, backstory.  I had listened to one of her songs on my way to work this morning, and then a few hours ago when I got home from church, that same song was still stuck in my head.  So I thought the only way to get that song out of my head is to just pull up iTunes and listen to it, right?  So I did that, and then I just let it continue to play all her songs that we have in our library.  Daughter J. was a big fan at one time.  Yeah.  There’s a lot.  So I figure I’ll either get it all out of my system or I’ll drive myself nuts and wind up in an institution. 

*

I’m kidding.  I don’t have a problem with the girl.  I actually enjoy most of her songs, even from her Hannah Montana days.  Ok, so I don’t have very discerning taste in music!  Moving on.  The other tortures I was going to talk about have sort of resolved themselves.  I was hungry but didn’t feel like eating.  I realize this doesn’t sound much like torture, but when you’re “doing Weight Watchers” and you know you’re supposed to be eating healthy, you hate to just take the quickest, easiest thing if it’s not going to be both healthy and satisfying.  I finally did have some tuna spaghett leftovers Daughter S. made, followed by some grapes for dessert, and it was a good meal.  I just have no idea how to track it.  Tracking is its own special torture.  I always know that if I don’t do it, I won’t have a good loss, because I am NOT a good estimater.  Speaking of my loss, this week’s loss brings me to (drumroll……) 111.5 lbs since January 2010.  Not a typo.  One hundred eleven.  I’m excited and pleased and proud, but I also have to repeat the feat, as I still have just under that much to lose to get to my goal.  So daunting, but also not, because I’m halfway there.

*

Back on the topic of tortures, I discovered an old message I had overlooked on a popular social networking site that made me want to run my mouth and tell people off and make a donkey of myself again.  That urge is particularly torturous because this is a 17 year-old child we’re talking about, and it is completely pointless and futile and definitely nonproductive.  Teenage drama.  Oy.  I hope I outgrow it someday!  Maybe choosing not to respond to the aforementioned message in any way (except mentioning it here) is a step in that direction. 

*

Another torture that’s not really a torture, but gives me something to talk about, is the adventure run/mud run/warrior dash 5k I’ve got coming up- The Dirty 30.  It’s Saturday, July 30.  I’ve never done a 5k before, let alone one that includes mud and obstacles!  I can’t wait to see what it’s like, but I’m also nervous.  I’m particularly concerned about the obstacles.  Wondering if I’ll be able to get through, over, under, and past them without bodily injury or humiliation.  My counselor said I should go to the local park and climb things.   Any things!  Things that involve the upper body.  Just for practice, you know.   I’ve only got a week and a half, so I’d better get climbing if I expect it to do any good. 

*

So anyway.  Lots of angst-y things going on in my head right now- things from the past, things from the present, things from the future.  All tenses covered.  Just stuff.  Nothing really bloggable.  (Is that a new word?  Probably not.)  So I guess for now I’ll just say we’ve made it through the entire catalog of Miley tunes in my library and have now graduated to Lady Gaga.  That means it’s time to cut this short and go to bed!

*

Until next time,

D.

 

Ok, NOW I’ve Worked Out! April 11, 2011

iTunes includes visualizers. Shown here is a v...

Image via Wikipedia

Hello all!  Well, today there was another episode of alien body snatching, and I found myself at TFP- The Fitness Professional at 5:40 IN the morning, to participate in something called Turbo!  I think its full name is actually “TurboKick, or The Workout That Kicks Your A$$ and Initially Makes You into a Pathetic, Quivering Blob of Wuss-Ness Until You Get the Hang of It and Become a Fierce Machine” but we’ll shorten it for time’s sake! 

*

So there I was, ready to Turbo it up, and the class started, and I kept up for a little while, but eventually I felt like Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality, you know, where she’s in the class with all the other pageant contestants, just making up moves as she goes along?  Yeah.  Definitely me.  So I make it through the class, but I don’t feel like I did a good enough job.. I don’t feel like I really hit it hard.  So I come home, get the kids ready for school, take them to school, return home, and decide I’m gonna hop on the treadmill for a while.  So I start out slowly, warming up with no real idea or intention of how long I’m gonna go.  I always think I’ll just walk for 15 or 20 minutes, maybe 30.  But then I put my laptop close by me, brought up iTunes, cranked up my exercise playlist and walked.  And walked.  And walked!  I kept thinking, Ok, I’ll stop after 2 songs.  Ok, I’ll stop at the next 5 minute mark.  Ok, I’ll stop when I hear a song by this particular artist.  Well… I ended up warming up slow for 5 minutes, then cranking it up on high speed and walking for FIFTY-FIVE minutes!!  That’s 55, people!  Plus another 5 minute slow cool-down.  I think my music helped.  Here are the songs I walked through:

*

So there you have it.  I walked for an hour and 5 minutes total.  I sweated like a pig.  I got in 3.2 miles and over 7500 steps.  I earned 4 Weight Watchers points.  And I am Proud of My Self, yes I am.  It’s only a little after 10 and I still have to go to work and be on my feet and walk all day, and I need to make the kids walk when I get home, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I get in over 15,000 steps today.  Woooo!  Go me! 

*

Until next time,

D.

P.S.  Thanks to my youngest sister, I am planning to sign up for something that sounds like awesome good dirty fun, and that is The Dirty 30 Race!  A 5k + 7 tons of mud + 15 obstacles = a heck of a good time!  Oh, it’s in July.  In Mulhall Oklahoma.  In mud.  A 5k.  Who doesn’t want to do that!?  Find one near you!

 

 
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