The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Do You Hear the People Sing? May 17, 2018

Hello all!!  Wow, am I all over the map today.  I have the whole “Do You Hear the People Sing” thing stuck in my head because… it’s the last day of school AND Les Mis auditions at Ardmore Little Theatre were five years ago tomorrow.  OBVIOUSLY I’m an emotional wreck. But totally in a good way.

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First, the last day of school is a major milestone.  It feels like barely a few days ago I was working in my classroom, getting ready for school to start, being scared, nervous, intimidated, and completely unsure if I were supposed to be here.  I made it through the year though, survived all the moments when I felt like I should run away and become a sheep herder in Tibet, and kept plowing despite a somewhat critical bout with depression.  I think I’ve come to the conclusion that the first year of teaching is about like the first year of college:  I’ve probably gained at least fifteen pounds since I was hired.  Still, it’s been a good year.  I’ve tried to operate in a mode of loving these kids and remembering that they ARE just KIDS.  They are not fully formed humans yet, and they can be jerks on occasion.  Sadly, many adults can be jerks too, but that’s another post.  The point is… IT’S THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!! WOOOO!

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Second, the anniversary of the auditions for Les Miserables (I don’t know how to type it with all the correct little accent marks) is tomorrow.  FIVE years ago tomorrow, I got on a stage and sang in front of strangers, and opened the door to a world I couldn’t have imagined.  It has brought me some of the greatest joy and the worst pain I’ve experienced in the last few years.  Between great new friends, disappointing audition results, crushes that were not meant to be, sharing the worst pain of those new friends,  celebrating victories and learning new things I never knew I could do… theatre has been a blessing in my life.  Note: the featured image of this post is my best friend who I met at auditions and who played Madame Thenardier.  She was and is nine kinds of awesome!

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I haven’t been actually ON stage in a long time, because I allowed myself to feel like I was too fat and ugly to be up there, (and also that I wasn’t really a good enough actor) but I’m hoping to conquer that this season.  There are a couple of shows I wouldn’t mind auditioning for, directors I would love to work with, and of course, the chance to reprise a role and play the same character I played when I first started, when we produce a new entry in the Buttermilk series: A Dark and Stormy Night at the Buttermilk Hotel, written partly by one of those new theatre friends.  I’ll have hopefully had my weight loss surgery a few months before the Buttermilk play is ready to audition, and I’ll be feeling a lot better about my weight. I’m also probably going to start working with a practitioner of FDN, functional diagnostic nutrition, and getting some health issues solved even before I have surgery.  We’ll see how it works.

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So back to the last day of school.  I just feel like I want to try to remember everything.  So far it’s been a good day, but it’s only 2nd hour!  I’m going to finish this post and grade the tests from 1st hour.  Let the day only go up from here!  And in only three weeks, I’ll be on my way to ALASKA!!! Yessss!

Until next time,

D.

 

 

A Photo Walking Tour August 26, 2015

(Originally begun on 8/23)

Hello, all!  Things here in Alaska are still wonderful, and the wonderfulness quickly approaches an end.  One of the girls from the gift shop is leaving today, with three more leaving by the 31st of August.  It’s beginning to get pretty weird.

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BUT.  I still have time to share my adventures, and to write about all the things I see and do, so today I got up and took a walk through a part of the property I had never been through before.  Sure enough, it was a rewarding walk well worth the time.  The property is divided into two loops around which are situated the guest buildings.  The main lodge building houses a very few guest rooms, as well as the general manager’s home, the gift shop, the Mountain View dining room, and the Grizzly Bar.  Employee housing is above the upper loop, so that’s really the only one we ever have occasion to see, as we walk to and from work.  The lower loop I had never explored until today.

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Employee housing is out past T and the gift shop is G. That long road between is the one I am following in this entry.

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The weather is gorgeous.  The mountain is mostly out, and the guests are in ecstasy, posing proudly and taking pictures with that incredible sight in the background.  They are very lucky, as you might remember.  There is a thing here called the ‘30% Club’ because there is only about a 30% chance of viewing the entire mountain on any given day.  If you get to see it, you’re in the club.  A lot of people have visited here this summer wondering if the whole thing was a hoax, because believe it or not, there are days when you literally can’t tell there is even a mountain there.

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So as I mentioned before, it is a beautiful day and I only have so many of those left, and I want to be sure I don’t miss anything I will regret.  I took my shower, gathered my work clothes and all my other junk needed for the day, stuffed it all in my backpack, and set out on my walk.  The pictures I am going to be sharing here will include a sort of “photo walking tour” of the route I take to get to work, starting with the view from out my front door.

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Continuing on, I walk behind the housing and down through the maintenance buildings.  Behind the maintenance buildings is The Infamous Hell Hill.  This was the hill that I only take going to work.  I refuse to climb up it going back to the room afterward.  Yes, I am sure it would probably have benefitted me, but geez louise, that thing is steep and it feels like the chest wheezes it induces will last forever!

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I stopped halfway down and took another picture from the hill.  When I get to the bottom, I cross a little road where if you look back left there is more employee housing.  Then you have to choose to take either a rocky, rough little trail, or take a few extra steps on the pavement and go to the stop sign and turn the corner.  Before that though, I want to show you a picture of a very important spot in my experience here.  You can see it in the middle picture above, but I am about to show you another view of it.  When my friend was looking through my pictures of my walk this day, she was curious as to why I took a picture of something so seemingly random, but I am about to tell you the story.

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Looks pretty ordinary, doesn't it?

Looks pretty ordinary, doesn’t it?

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Well, I was going to tell you a much longer version of this story, but then I hit the wrong button and froze my screen and lost what I had done.  The point was, this was where I sat to catch my breath, the first day I was here, having walked up Hell Hill IN the rain, WITH a 20 pound box and a 5 pound purse, NOT knowing where I was going or how with any certainty I was to get back to my room.  This was where I sat and made probably the biggest mistake of this whole experience.  I sat there, drenched to the skin, huffing and wheezing and more or less in tears, and I told myself, “If I stay here and stick this out, it will be the hardest thing I have ever done.”  It was only much later that I regretfully realized what I should have said to myself in that moment:  “Wow.  That was really really hard, but I did it.  If I can do that, the rest of this thing should be a piece of cake!”

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Ah, well.  Lesson learned.  Moving on.

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Continuing down the hill toward the lodge.  Believe it or not, it is actually fall here.  The trees are changing colors and losing their leaves, and there are bright colored berries on some plants along the way.  My beloved fireweed has turned from beautiful bright pink blooms to spiky stalks of cottony fuzz, which apparently means winter is only a few weeks away.  So strange!  Anyway…

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This is the road down to the lodge, and a line of buses that were there one day when I went down for lunch. Some days there are a LOT of buses there at that time.  I am totally losing the thread of this entry, aren’t I?  Here are some of the images I captured on my walk around the lower loop on this beautiful day.

So those were some of the sights I enjoyed on my walk.  Here is a short clip of the water feature. Stay tuned for my next entry, where there is a strange but lovely surprise.

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Until next time,

D.

 

 
The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

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