The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

The Saga of the Sophomores and the Great Can Competition! November 17, 2017

Filed under: Kid Kraziness,Lovin' Life,Whatever — DDKlingonGirl @ 10:54 am
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Hello, all!  Life has been quite an adventure since I returned to teaching.  There have been days and moments where I have wanted to run away and become a sheep herder in Tibet, but there have also been moments when I think I really do enjoy these kids and their enthusiasm.

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Take today, for example. The school is collecting canned goods for… you know… some reason.  Thanksgiving, maybe?  Or possibly just for the local food pantry.  That part doesn’t really matter.  The point is, they have known for a week that we were supposed to be collecting cans.  They have been reminded repeatedly, but up until YESTERDAY they only had about 20 cans.

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It’s important to add here, that there are serious rewards in the picture if they meet their collection goal. Incidentally, their collection goal is for each class (each grade- Freshmen, Sophomores, Juniors and Seniors) 250 apiece for the basic reward of a faculty-student volleyball game with pizza and soda.  The ULTIMATE goal, however, is that if the whole high school collects 2000 cans total, the principal will get a pie in the face.  This, obviously, is something that they find motivating.

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So again, up until yesterday they only had about 20 cans.  Today, much to the delight and yet surprise of the faculty, particularly yours truly who has been nagging them for days, they have suddenly decided to become competitive.  Kids showed up before school lugging full backpacks and WalMart bags.  One girl went to the store and bought one hundred cans on her own. They have been counting and re-counting, guarding jealously against sneaky upperclassmen who claim to be collecting the goods and then steal them and add them to their own tally.  They have been calling their parents and begging them to bring more canned goods, but most of the students who brought some today have just raided their own pantries.  I can easily envision dozens of moms getting ready to make supper tonight, standing in front of open pantry doors, staring upon dusty empty shelves and screaming, “(Insert Sophomore’s name here) WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH ALL THE FOOD!!”

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Basically it turns out these are good kids after all.  They showed up a little late to the party, but their honor is at stake here, and they are finally coming together and determined not to be bested by the other grades.  Except it turns out they still fall in the category of ‘give-em-an-inch-and-they’ll-take-ten-miles.” Several of them have formed a gang and are currently hiding out in my classroom taking full advantage of the fact that this is the last day before Thanksgiving break.

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Until next time!

D.

 

Just A Brief Update January 16, 2016

Hello, all!  It’s really late, but for some reason I am in the mood to blog and it has been way too long, so here I am.  Things are pretty good at the moment.  After I returned from Alaska and got my Daughter J. married off, I went back to work at a place I had worked before, off and on for about 12 years now.  I was preparing to audition for Ardmore Little Theater’s Fiddler On the Roof and I ended up getting asked to Stage Manage, which for me is just as much fun as being in the cast.  It’s going to be a wonderful show, I can already tell.  The cast is a perfect mix of experienced and newbie, and everyone is really enthusiastic and cooperative.  For now.  I feel wretched and traitorous saying this, may ValJean forgive me, but I think Fiddler may end up topping Les Mis with regard to just the number of cast members, beauty of the sound produced, and the general experience of the production being one of a cohesive team being dedicated to a common high goal, which is creative excellence.  In short, this cast has got it goin’ on!

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It’s January 16 and my Christmas tree is still up.  Between work and the theater I am working 13 hours a day and I just haven’t been in the mood to mess with it.   Unfortunately the two squatters living in this house, who I just happened to give birth to, wouldn’t do any housework or take it upon themselves to UN-decorate the Christmas decorations without a gun to their heads.  Figuratively speaking, obviously. So I’m thinking maybe the tree will be down by Valentine’s Day.  That would definitely be a record for me.  Who knows, maybe I’ll feel like messing with it before then.

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Health and fitness-wise, life is … well, let’s just say I’m not working as hard on that as I have in the past.  I have tried to get my head together and it just doesn’t seem to be working.  I can’t afford to actually pay money for Weight Watchers right now, I can’t seem to manage to do low carb the right way (or stick with it longer than a few days), and exercise is lower on my priority list than gum surgery.  Maybe one of these days I’ll get back on the wagon.

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Anyway.  It is later than late and I work early tomorrow, so I wish good health and good blessings on each and every one.

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Until next time,

D.

 

 

 

 

Just Another Manic Friday November 30, 2012

Hello all!

*bungee jumping vom Dortmunder Fernsehturm; Pla...

Y’all, I live in a state of emotional bungee jumping.  If you’ve been reading me longer than five minutes you know this, and today is one of those days.  Today is a day where my body feels like nothing so much as leashed power.  Like if you could stick the right electrodes on me I could power a small city.   Today is one of those days where I want to do things like go climb mountains with Sherpas.  Do meditative yoga at sunrise with a bunch of monks in a temple somewhere.  Kiss my soul mate at midnight on New Year’s Eve at the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.  Make love on a bearskin rug in front of a blazing fire in a snowbound cabin in Alaska.

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It all started when I was awakened at about 3:30 this morning by the noise from the living room where one of the cats was attempting to violate a package of cookies the kids left in there.  I got up and took it away from her and put it in the fridge.  Then of course I couldn’t get back to sleep.  I just lay there and tossed and turned and flipped and flopped.  I killed a little time doing some exercises.  (Yes, you can exercise while lying in bed.)  I did some leg lifts and butt squeezes and crunch-ish things, some arm presses against the wall over my head.  Stuff like that.

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By the time I got bored with that, it was about to get light outside.  I decided it had been a while since I’d watched a sunrise, so I rolled over and pulled the curtain back from the window and started watching the darkness lighten.  There was only one star in my view and it was a great big bright one.  I decided I’d watch it continuously until it got so light I couldn’t see it anymore and see how long it took.  This was about 6:30.

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So I lay there and held the curtain back and just watched.  The light crept upward and the star I watched got smaller and dimmer.  A couple of times I took my eyes off it and thought it had gone, but then I’d find it again.  Finally, it just disappeared.  It was 7:18 a.m.  The sun still wasn’t actually up.  And I started thinking about how that star is still there, and when I go to bed again, if I look out the window, there it will be.  Some things are always there whether you see them (and acknowledge them) or not.

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So when I wrote all the above, I was flopped across my bed with Clairol #43 on my hair, scribbling furiously across the back of a transcript of something I printed out and brought home from work.  Now I am AT work, and today is what I might call Fashion Experiment Day.  I was in the mood to do something different, so I’m wearing a rather blindingly bright neon yellow A-line thing (it’s either an oversized shirt or a short dress) over white pants, with robin’s egg blue ballet flats.   Dabbling in color makes me happy.

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Yesterday was my twin daughters’ 19th birthday.  I wanted to do a long, mushy post about how amazing and wonderful and fabulous they are, but I got busy at work and didn’t get around to it.  But let me just say that they are two of the brightest spots in my universe, and I don’t know what I would do without them.  They represent all I ever wanted from the time I was in middle school:  to be a mom.  I understand now that there’s a lot more in the world to be experienced than just having babies, and if I could do it over again, I would probably go do some of that other stuff first, but make no mistake:  I would not trade those two amazing young women for all the baguettes in France or all the monks in Tibet.   Happy Birthday, my girls!

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Until next time,

D.

 

Dobby the House Elf, a Goat, a Gecko, and an AK-47 October 4, 2012

Mediterranean House Gecko (Hemidactylus turcic...

 

 

Hello all.  I know, it’s an odd assortment of items to be grouped together in a title, right?  Of course it is.  That title has been floating through my head almost every day for weeks.  And that would be because these items (in plastic miniature, obvs) have been on the shelves in my shower for that long.

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It’s curious, the things that show up in your life when you have a little boy in your house.  Little boys enjoy collecting things like bottle caps and making folded paper ninja stars and dragon claws.  They are all about guns and war, blood, guts, death and destruction.  At least mine is.  He learning all about WWII with the help of several books and videos his dear Grandma got him from the Bookmobile at the library.  He also wants to learn to speak Korean because we watch M*A*S*H on DVD all the time.  And he wants to learn Spanish so he can really get the most out of the Puss In Boots movie.

 

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In addition to the green plastic reptile that seems to have taken up permanent residence in the shower, The Boy also recently got a big kick out of the discovery of some real geckos- tiny little Mediterranean House Geckos that hang around the building where I work.  (He comes to work with me most days and does his homeschooling there.  We can get away with that because I work in a church building where I’m basically the only person there about 70% of the time.  It’s awesome.)  Anyway, we walked in the door one day, and one of those little guys was crawling along the floor in front of the shelf right inside the door.  He chased it and caught it, but after a few minutes and the loss of one stripe-y little gecko tail, I convinced him to let the poor thing go.  Not too long after that, he found another one in the shelf on the other side of the door, and we made it a nifty little house out of two styrofoam cups taped together.  The Boy brought the little guy home to show his sisters, and then he let that one go, too.  But in the meantime, we looked on the internet and found out all about him, where he came from, what he ate, and everything.  (That’s how we knew for sure what kind it was.)

 

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Anyway.  I guess I’m not really sure what kind of connection Dobby and the goat have in all of this, except that they just make for a funny list.  And it’s just funny what kinds of things end up in your shower when kids are around, and how when you’re doing self-directed learning homeschool, you have freedom undreamed of in a learn-by-rote, teach-to-the-test, NCLB public school classroom.  Freedom both exhilarating and terrifying.  But at least every day is an adventure.

 

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Until next time,

 

D.

 

 

 

Up From Here. Except for the Scale! August 28, 2012

June's multi-colored eyes

This cat kinda looks like I feel!

Hello all.

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Allow me to re-introduce myself.  I am a struggling-with-weight loss, struggling-with-loneliness-and-non-dating, struggling-with-parenting, full-time-working, home-educating, brilliant-but-confused, hot mess.

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Let’s take it from the top, shall we?  I’ve been on a weight loss journey for two years, seven months, and nine days.  My current total loss stands at 116.8, down from an all-time high net loss of 130.6 in June.  I have basically been hovering and bobbing like a cork in the water, weight-wise speaking, for almost this entire calendar year.   Somewhere, I have lost my way.  I have lost my motivation and my drive.  In theory I should congratulate myself on basically maintaining my weight for this long, rather than going into a full-scale retreat and gaining scores of pounds.  But I went to my Weight Watchers meeting tonight, and registered an obscene gain.  Obscene.  I was expecting a gain, but not one that made me want to scream and cuss.  So as of tonight, I am back on track.  I am once again following the WW plan to the letter, even if it kills me.  And it won’t.  I have set new goals and I am going to move forward no matter what.

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Secondly, the struggling with the loneliness and non-dating thing.  This is something that is SUCH a source of confusion and just…being torn.  On one hand, I would really love to find a boyfriend-type person, someone to go out to dinner and a movie with, someone to talk to, someone to hug and kiss on, a little.  I feel like in the dictionary under ‘Needs a Life’ it says ‘See Her.’  BUT.  The kicker is that I usually feel too overwhelmed with all the other stuff I have going on, too busy, too mentally scattered to be in a relationship at this point in my life.  I’ve had one or two minor relationship opportunities/possibilities that have fallen through in the last couple of months, and I have been quite alone in dealing with the disappointment.  But there is also a slight feeling of relief that they never really developed, because I’m not sure I was really ready for them anyway.  And then there’s the question of who am I really looking for and what do I really want in a significant other?  I know you’re thinking, ‘Wait, didn’t we cover this a month ago?’  Well, yeah.  But it’s still on my mind, especially with regard to all the other personality traits, opinions, likes, dislikes, and REALLY dislikes that my 13 Things didn’t cover.  All I know is, I’ve read a LOT of profiles on a major dating site recently.  This could be a whoooole other post, but there are some apparently decent guys out there, and some real wackos, to put it nicely.  So much so that I’m thinking, “Eh.  Dating can wait.  The kids come first.”

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Which leads me directly into the next two points:  1) home-educating is a huge chore, especially when you’re trying to work full time literally at the same time! and 2) getting your High School graduates launched is much more difficult when, despite your half-hearted attempts at trying to do otherwise, they’ve been kept sheltered, coddled, indulged, and allowed to get away with immense amounts of slacker-ness.  I’ve got one daughter I’m trying to get set up with Vocational Rehabilitation services to help her identify and acquire a job that she can do and wants to do, and one daughter who finally at the 11th hour got signed up to take some college classes but still doesn’t have a job and doesn’t drive very much.  All the paperwork, applications, meetings, assessments, etc. is what you might call seriously overwhelming when you’re just one Momma!  (And yes, I could and should delegate some of that responsibility to the slackers-in-question, but haven’t managed to do that yet.)

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So yeah.  Just needed to get all that off my chest.  I was planning to start a new blog about our home-schooling adventures, but haven’t really got the kinks worked out yet.  Stay tuned for that.  Alternate titles I considered for tonight’s post were “If You’re Not in the Mood for Debbie Downer, Skip This One” and “In the Dictionary Under ‘Overwhelmed’…”  but I decided it was best to go with the positive.  Stay with me- it can only go up from here!

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Until next time,

D.

 

My Future Oscar Winner: The Drama Has GOT to be Good for SOMETHING! January 6, 2011

Wishes fireworks shows in the Magic Kingdom Wa...

Image via Wikipedia

Hello all!  You know how I’m always saying that my son will someday either end up on The Oscars or America’s Most Wanted?  Well, I’ve decided.  It needs to be The Oscars.  This boy has got such an incredibly strong imagination, and he’s so extremely emotional!  Not that I think his mood swings are an act at this point, but I think he could use his tendency toward drama to really take him places!  Consider tonight, for example:

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We had been having what I called a Disney Dance Party, which was my way of getting these little couch potatoes moving in preparation for our trip to Disney World.  Since it’s still too dark for us all to go for a family walk when I get home from work, I decided we were just going to put on some peppy music and boogie it out as hard as we could for 20 minutes a night, working up to longer times as the trip gets closer.  So we had done that tonight, dancing to Sean Kingston‘s Fire Burning, Jay Z and Kanye’s Down, and Lady Gaga’s Disco Heaven.  (And Daughter J. insisted on listening to two songs from A Goofy Movie.)  I showed them a few exercise moves like holding a squat against the wall, and just holding a crouch for as long as we could.  I helped The Boy do a few sit-ups, and we finally stopped and sat down.  I told them we would find a calming, relaxing song to cool down to, and then I got a bright idea that turned out to be not so bright for The Boy. 

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I sat on the edge of my chair, with my arms stretched out and down against my knees.  I told them I imagined all the negative energy, dark stuff, bad moods, and ugliness shooting out of my fingertips as I stretched them downward, until my entire body was empty of anything negative.  Then I turned my palms up as I rested them on my knees and told them to imagine positive energy, light, and warmth being poured into their hands until it ran up their arms and filled up their whole chest and exploded outward.  So The Boy decided to give this a try, and my poor Little Man had been ‘receiving the positive’ for about half a minute when he just burst into tears!  He said he was crying because it was so beautiful and that he imagined little white angels falling into his hands.  He sat on my lap for a while and I tried to explain to him that I wanted him to just feel relaxed and positive, not cry!  So he got back on the couch and gave it another try and this time, he almost started crying again, because he said he saw himself being hugged by God! 

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And this after he had just earlier in the evening been grouching and griping and completely unmanageable and unreasonable about every tiny thing, up to and including having a tantrum because his hamburger bun came apart as he tried to take it out of the bag!  I swear I do not know what comes over this kid! 

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And at the same time, he  is such a comedian!  His birthday is four months from today, and he’s been bugging me about this Harry Potter merchandise he wants, something he found on one of those dvd inserts where they advertise wands and sorcerer’s stones and time-turner necklaces and golden egg pendants.  And $300 pewter HP chess sets.  You get the idea.  So he’s been bugging and begging, and since he had done nothing but be a hateful old grump to Daughter J. all evening, I told him he wasn’t getting anything until he could learn to love his sister and get along and be kind!  So they are both sitting on the couch, and a moment after I tell him this, he LAUNCHES  himself across the couch and wraps his arms around her and puts this silly, happy grin on his face.  Then when she looks over at me like “WHAT is he doing?”  he snuggles his head into her side again and grins even bigger.  Then he cuts his eyes over to me and asks “What do you think?  Can I have it now?” 

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SIGH!  I’m hoping the ‘receiving the positive’ technique will help him sleep better.  He’s always complaining that he can’t sleep, because he keeps thinking about scary things that he’s seen in video games and movies (which he was NOT allowed to watch by me, for the record!  The movie was something Daughter J. let him watch and the video games were something he watched his father play).  We were supposed to do a family project for counseling and make him a dream catcher from stuff we found around the house, but we haven’t done it yet.  He’s usually satisfied with me singing him a few songs when he gets in bed. 

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So.  We’re going to stick with the Disney Dance Party idea and hopefully will build up some stamina in my little chubby-bubbies and prepare them for tackling the World.  For my own part, I’ve been making extra trips up and down the stairs at work for the last few days.  Sadly, I think tonight’s boogie wonderland might possibly have resulted in a few stress fractures!  What I wouldn’t give for a couple of foot transplants!  Have they invented those yet, and if not, WHY NOT!? 

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And while we’re on the subject of Disney, readers should perhaps be aware that this particular topic will be increasingly on my mind in the weeks to come, because our trip is 4 months and three weeks from tomorrow!  I discovered an online message board that has the potential to become the mother of all obsessions for the next few months, www.DISboards.com , and my family is beginning to suspect cult activity!  I’m sure by the time we leave for our trip, they will have the intervention lined up for the moment our return flight lands, and all my Facebook friends will have blocked me from their feeds because they feel they may hurt someone if they see the word ‘Disney’ from me just once more!

Until next time,

D.

 

A Long, Hard, Hungry Day, and a Big Number! December 14, 2010

Hello all.  This is the time of year when I frequently know what total exhaustion feels like.  Today was one of those days.  It was weigh-in day at Weight Watchers, so I didn’t eat breakfast.  (Yes, I know, bad habit that I need to work on changing.  Maybe later.)  I had WW, then went to my counseling session with the Golden Goddess.  Then I had to go straight to work, because I knew they were going to be swamped, as they were swamped all day yesterday. 

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At this point I had two choices.  I could a) take my highly nutritious microwavable meal to work and heat it in the microwave there and eat it before clocking in (especially seeing that I wasn’t officially due to be there for almost an hour) or b) I could heat and eat in the counsellor’s office because she didn’t have anyone scheduled right after me today.  Well OBViously I wasn’t going to go sit there at work and calmly eat my lunch while the boss and my two co-workers were buried under with customers.  So I ate my lunch in the office and after stopping at a nearby convenience store to get a diet soda to take with me, I went to work. (and luckily for me, they had fresh fruit there, so I snagged an apple and a banana. I ate the banana on the way and saved the apple for later.) 

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Turned out to be a good thing I stopped and got the fruit, because as tasty and healthful as my meal was (Healthy Choice Rosemary Chicken and Sweet Potatoes = Yummy!!!)  it was very light and only 4 points on WW, so it didn’t hold me too well to the end of the day.  Now granted, it was approximately 11:15 a.m. when I ate lunch, and I get out of work at approximately 6:00 p.m. so I guess it’s normal that I would be hungry before it was all over, no matter what I had eaten for lunch!   

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So about halfway through the afternoon, I got so hungry I felt like I would be sick, so I went in the back room and snacked on the apple.  I only ate a few bites at a time between helping customers- just enough that I felt I could make it a little longer without hurling.  Oh, I also guzzled a Low Sodium V8 I had brought the day before, thinking that it might provide an energy boost.

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But I guess we had just been too busy, and I had packed and shipped and carried and stacked way too many boxes, because when closing time came around… I was EXHAUSTED!  It was one of those times where I felt like it wouldn’t have taken much to make me cry just for the release of it.  So then here comes the icing on the cake- my mom brings the kids by, and The Boy is grouchy and cranky, Daughter S. is cranky because I am cranky, and Daughter J. is heartbroken because her friends are incredibly unfair and stupid! 

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Anyway, Mom took them to their class. I finished work, waited for Mom to bring me The Boy, and then we killed time until the girls would be finished. (8:00 p.m.)  The Boy and I sat at McDonald’s, not eating, just using the playroom for a while.  Finally, we went to go pick up the girls and made it home.  (But not before we stopped BACK by McDonald’s and zoomed through the drive-thru, leaving one of our items there, necessitating me driving all the way back into town to get it, because its absence went unnoticed until we got home!)

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I guess the attempted point of the whole story was just that we were extremely busy today, and I experienced severe blood sugar drop, and I was cranky and worn out and just wanted to cry, but I got home and fixed me a couple of sandwiches on reduced calorie bread, with deli-sliced turkey, fat free mayo, and lettuce, spinach, cucumber and guacamole.  They were darn good, and I was so proud of myself for not getting anything from McDonald’s, even though I was ravenous!

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I guess it’s that kind of perserverance and determination that has allowed me to be able to say:  I HIT 80 LBS LOST AT WW THIS MORNING!!! 🙂  Oh yeah, go me!  Boo-yah!  I didn’t realize it until tonight when I was doing my online tracking, and I discovered that the receptionist at the meeting had calculated wrong, and I had actually hit the number!  I thought I was .8 shy of having lost 80 lbs, but I’ve actually lost 80.2.  Woo hooooooo!

Until next time,

D.

 

 
The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

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