The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

(Hear this in Gomer Pyle’s Voice) Surprise, Surprise, Surprise! July 12, 2015

Filed under: Alaska Summer,Class Reunion — DDKlingonGirl @ 12:26 pm
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Hello, all!  It’s a fine sunny day here in Alaska, and I woke up to a surprise.  A friend of mine from high school who actually lives in Anchorage stopped by to see me on her way back home from a camping trip!  It was just a very brief visit- a quick hug and introductions to the family and pics as evidence. 🙂  So without further ado, I bring you the LGHS Class of 1990 25 Year Reunion- Alaska Division!


Hey! Long time, no see! Thanks for dropping by.  <3

Hey! Long time, no see! Thanks for dropping by. ❤


I was supposed to work at 11:00 a.m. today, but a co-worker had something come up, so now I don’t have to work until 2:30.  I was thankful to have gotten to sleep in a bit though; I had been on 7:30-4:00 for a few days.  My new roommate and I have been bonding over an OOOOLD TV miniseries she has on DVD.  We’ve been watching North and South on her laptop.  It has been really fun.  And sad.  Patrick Swayze.  All the tears.


Anyway.  I’ve been working on a special experience the last few days.  My work schedule (and all of ours in the gift shop) has been mostly one day off a week.  I had one week a while back where I had two days off, but it was the only one so far.  We’ve been short-staffed all season, so not as much time off.  Which is fine, obviously.  (Hashtag: overtimeisgood) But time off is good too, and I finally have another week with two days off, AND… they are consecutive!!  So what people do up here with consecutive days off is try to find a way to get, how shall we say, OUT!  To get “off-property” and go have some adventures elsewhere.  So that is what I have been trying to do.  Employees get a special room rate at our other lodges, and since I have tomorrow and Tuesday off, I was going to try to get a room up at Denali Princess Wilderness Lodge, take a wildlife tour, see their dinner show, and (the thing I have been most wanting to do) ride the train with the pretty glass top where you can see all the scenery.


The problem is, they have to have enough room.  And you have to put in a request.  And you have to arrange transportation.  And managers have to help you. And if you didn’t get advance notice or plan ahead, your adventure could be derailed at any one of those steps.  So basically it is Sunday morning 10:13 a.m. and I still do not actually know if I have to plan and pack for a two-day trip leaving early tomorrow morning!


Fortunately, there are options.  If I don’t get a room in Denali, I can always go to Anchorage, get a room anywhere for a couple of days and rent a car and explore.  There is a big zoo there that I have been wanting to see, and also the Performing Arts Center, and all sorts of adventures just waiting to be had.  So.  One way or another, I should be having some good fun over the next couple of days.


Thanks for stopping by.  I still have yet to share my flight tour experience, and as soon as I can get ALLLLLL those pictures uploaded I will try to put them into my certain-to-be-inadequate words.


Until next time,



After the Class Reunion… September 20, 2010

Members of the Class of 1990, Lone Grove High School, Lone Grove Oklahoma

(Originally written Sunday, Sept. 19, 2010)

Hello all.  I woke up early this morning despite the lateness of when I went to sleep last night.  I’m just… thinking so much!  I don’t know if I can put everything I’m feeling and thinking about into words.  I thought about getting up and going to church, but I have to get this down on paper.


Last night had a kind of surreal quality to me.  Like falling down a rabbit hole and going back in time.  But it’s better now than it was in high school because now there is a quality of love and friendship that had not had time to develop back then.  Maybe it sounds dorky or overdramatic, but I kind of fell in love last night.  I fell in love with us as a class and how close we still are, and how much we really do still mean to each other, how we can come together and have fun, so much fun, despite the years between visits.


For me personally, this morning I somehow feel more ALIVE, more wide open to the world of possibility!  It’s hard to explain, but last night there were people there who had always represented limitations for me- restrictions against doing or saying certain things because we were raised in the same religion.  Seeing them doing the exact things I had always felt I shouldn’t do for fear of their opinions or judgements… hugely, surprisingly liberating!  Maybe they limited themselves because of others’ opinions too.  Maybe they were a little concerned about what I thought.  (Well, I doubt that, but still, the idea is intriguing.)


Now the question remains, where do I go from here?  From the moment this year began, it was significant:  20 years removed from high school!  Are we having a reunion?  When is it?  Let’s PLAN!  I have put so much mental energy into this for so long and now it’s over.  But in between that, I have been working on this journey of self-discovery, trying to more fully develop who I am as a person:   I’ve been trying to improve my health and my body.  I could continue to focus on that.  I’ve been trying to improve my parenting, trying to help my kids be happy and prepare them for their own adult lives.  I could continue to focus on that.  I’ve been trying to define myself in a context of my religious and spiritual life, trying to identify just what it is I believe and then really live it.  I could continue to focus on that.  I’ve been searching for a direction in my career and my job, trying to discover what really, truly I was meant to do, something that fulfills me and makes me love working at it.  I could continue to focus on that.


Or I could find something new to try- take a painting or cooking class, join a club, research and plan a trip somewhere, design and landscape my back yard, write the next Great American Novel.  The possibilities are just too endless!


Last night for me was a revelation and a removing of some of the chains and shackles I have been carrying for a long, long time.  I can definitely say I’ve made progress, however insignificant it may seem.  For example, I wore sleeveless shirts both nights of this reunion.  In the past, I would have limited myself to something that covered my arms, but this time, I chose to wear something that made me feel beautiful. Amazingly simple, but a very big step for me.


I can say only this:  choosing the next step is going to be fun!  Oh, and this:  CLASS OF 90 RULZ!!! 🙂


Here is a new poem I wrote Saturday morning after the football game experience.  It’s how I’ve been feeling about this whole weekend.

Me reading my Class Reunion poem. Again!

Seeing Classmates After 20 Years

Staring in the mirror-

search deep in the reflection

in front of me.

Trying to understand myself,

wondering if I see what the others see.

Am I beautiful or ugly?

Am I brave or courageous or strong?

Do I inspire?  Do I uplift?

Am I getting it all right or getting it wrong?

Searching myself and questioning,

Where is this journey taking me?

Do others see the work I’m putting in

to get to a place where I’m not faking me?

I look in the mirror again,

for the first time resist the urge to criticize.

I see beauty and strength and amazingness,

and self-approval shining in my eyes.

DB- 9-18-10 — 10:13 a.m.



Until next time,



Class Reunion Weekend! (and a poem) September 17, 2010

Hello all.  I was just re-reading the last few entries I’ve posted, and I realized I sounded kinda… intense.  Kinda wound up, you know, all angsty, extra-long sentences, stressing out about everything under the sun.  So I decided I needed to write an entry that was a little more mellow.  More contemplative, meditative, kinda chilled.  So right now I’m listening to a podcast by two doofy, redneck liberty enthusiasts, one of whom I go to church with, so it’s a real hoot to hear him talking about what he’s drinking, saying things like ‘sweet hot violent magical mama parts,’ talking about snorting blow off hookers’ butts, and cussing like a longshoreman.  Ok, that wasn’t what I planned to talk about.  My class reunion weekend has finally arrived, and that’s what I wanted to talk about in this relaxed, chilled, calm little post.


So I’ve been out of school for 20 years this year.  I graduated in 1990, when things like Google, iTunes, the World Wide Web, and even cell phones and Starbucks had barely been heard of, and stamps cost $0.25!  My cousin and I were making some posterboard photo collages for the reunion and those pictures were so hilarious!  Talk about some big hair and crazy clothes!  But the shocker was how young we looked!  We looked like babies.  It’s amazing to think that my daughters are now only about 10 months younger than I was when I graduated.  Looking at them now, I remember how I felt at that age, how I thought I was so grown up and mature.  They don’t even look their age to me!  And I think about when I had my first boyfriend, and my parents were always driving us around and we were kissing in the back of the van, and maybe it’s just a lack of memory, but I don’t remember them acting like it bothered them that much!  If I were hauling my girls around these days and they had boyfriends, I think I’d make the boys ride up front with me and the girls in the back seat by themselves! 


Anyway.  Class reunion.  I’ve been on the planning team for this thing from the beginning.  We’re meeting tonight at the Homecoming football game, sitting together to cheer on the old team, and seeing each others’ kids and all.  Tomorrow night, we’re having a classmate-and-guest-only, catered dinner and dance at the Elks’ Lodge.  (I know, I mentioned that before and it sounds so small-town, but that’s because I live in a small town! And proud of it!) 


Anyway, the big news is, I took a chance and invited someone to go with me.  He is someone I met back in March and have been talking to and texting off and on since then, hung out with a couple of times.  I thought he’d make a fun reunion escort, and he agreed to go.  I’m really looking forward to spending the evening with my new friend and all my old friends, looking back and remembering, having a good time. 


And now it’s time for me to post the poem I’ve been saving, the piece I wrote for our last reunion, the 10-year we had in 2000.  I hope it speaks to everyone.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you…



Class Reunion

Tonight we celebrate a time when our tomorrows outnumbered our yesterdays,

When dreams and hopes, plans and ambitions all lay ahead of us, ours for the taking.

We remember moments.  That big touchdown, that homecoming crown,

That final grade, that first big date, and all that they made us feel.

Back then everything was bigger than life.

Every joy, every sorrow, every love, every hate, every thought and fear,

was the defining moment of our existence.

Remembered through the mist of passing time,

Very little seems to have been so crucial as we thought.

Disappointments we thought would crush us then, seem humorous and trivial now.

Happiness we thought could never be surpassed was only the beginning.

Ten (20) years gone past, in some ways the blink of an eye.

In some ways they seem a lifetime.

Tonight we catch a glimpse of ourselves as were were then-

The brain, the jock, the homecoming queen, the lonely outcast and the center of attention.

Some were on top of the world, some foundering hopelessly lost.

Ever wonder which ones were which?

Yet all of us have found our way to this time and place.

We’re smiling, we’re laughing, looking back, looking forward.

We know so much more than we did then.  And so much less than we thought.

We are so different, and so much the same.

But whether we run a bank or a Burger King,

Balance payrolls or checkbooks,

Perform brain surgery or kiss babies’ skinned knees,

Chase hardened criminals or sticky-fingered toddlers,

Reach the medal podium or sweep the floors,

We all share a special past.  We hope for a happy future.

We steer our ships toward our own horizons.

And our tomorrows still outnumber our yesterdays. 

D.D.-    June, 2000


Until next time,



I Had No Ideas Whatsover! (Wonder how you say that in Spanish?) August 24, 2010

Hello all.  Tonight is one of those nights where I don’t have any particular ideas in mind, or things I really want to talk about, so I’m just going to start typing and see where the road leads.  I apologize in advance for the loss of the next few minutes of your life, but gratefully thank you for reading!


My son cracked me up this morning.  I was still on my own bed, but I was yelling at him, asking if he was up yet.  He didn’t answer, so I yelled his first and middle name, and I heard this exasperated, sighing, more than a little annoyed voice answer, “YES, MOTHER!”  🙂  Then again, he always cracks me up.  He prides himself on his funny little antics and absolutely loves making people laugh. 


Great thing today- we got rain.  I mean real rain, not one of those that’s just enough drizzle to make the grass strain upward desperately and beg.  It sprinkled a few days ago, which was good, but it wasn’t enough.  We hadn’t had rain in so long, I turned on my windshield wipers and they looked at me with puppy-dog eyes like they didn’t know what to do!


I was reading some other blogs this morning.  I should never do that.  It just gives me a complex and makes me feel like I should give up writing and apply to clown college.  Some of the writers out there seem soooo talented.  Some of them just like to say f*ck a lot. 


My 20-year class reunion is coming up next month.  I absolutely deny that I am old enough to have been out of school for TWENTY years!  I was a child prodigy who graduated from high school at age 10.  That’s what it is.  Yeah, that’s my story.  What do you mean I’m full of crap!?  Well who needs you, anyway?  Oh that’s right-  I do, or this thing would be non-existent!  Ok, so the reunion is coming up and I don’t have a thing to wear!  It’s not a fancy-schmancy, la-di-da affair- just a catered dinner and dance at the Elks’ Lodge.  (Boy, does that sound Small Town!)   The dress code isn’t too demanding- it’s just business casual.  The problem is that everything I own is either 3 sizes too big or looks like an old lady, or both!!  I bought a dress a while back, that I actually love, but I don’t have the proper undergarments to wear with it.  It’s a halter top dress, and since I don’t have a strapless or halter top bra, I could either wear a tank top under it or some kind of shirt over it, but I don’t really think it would look right.  So I’m stuck either wearing something I already have that is all baggy and old lady-ish, or borrowing something from I-know-not-whom!  Guess I’ll just have to keep working on it.  The date is Sept. 18, so I have a little less than a month to get this problem solved! 


Daughter S. is taking Spanish this year, and I think it’s going to be really fun to re-learn it along with her.  My poor Spanish teacher in high school only lasted one year because she was not accustomed to what rotten little beasties high school kids can be.  She found out quick when one little punk made a hairspray can torch in the back of the classroom.  Miss Rosa was much better suited to teaching elementary school, I think.  I was showing off to Daughter S. this morning the only things I learned in that class:  the words to La Bamba, and the Pledge of Allegience in Spanish.  (Which I can never recall the first phrase of- arguably the most important part- the ‘I pledge allegience’ part!)  Just for the halibut, I’ll show it off again, minus appropriate punctuation marks:

(I pledge allegience)

a la bandera

de los Ustados Unidos de America.

y a la Republica que representa

Una nacion, bajo Dios, indivisible

con libertad y justicia para todos.


This post is dying on the vine, so I guess I’m going to give it up for now.  The Boy was working on his homework and he decided he was going to “take a break.”  Only now it’s after 9:30 p.m. and he’s not doing homework and he’s not getting ready for bed either, so it’s time to provide some gentle guidance:  GET READY FOR BED, YOU LITTLE CRUMB-CRUNCHER! 


Maybe for the next entry I’ll translate the meaning of the words to La Bamba.  You guys totally better run for the hills! 

Until next time,


(ETA:  MILESTONE!!!  Apparently this is my 100th post!  I know it’s just a beginning compared to some of the blogs that have been out there for a while, but wow!  I can’t believe I’ve already gotten this far!  I’m also pushing 2700 total views since I started this thing.  Thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to read me, and super thanks to those who keep coming back!  Hugs to you!)


Breaking the (Bloggy) Rules: Good Work People, Bad Work People July 10, 2010

Filed under: Adventures in Gainful Employment,Class Reunion — DDKlingonGirl @ 7:04 pm
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Hello all.  Today was a good day.  Despite its being Saturday and having to be at work earlier than normal and being the only one of the three regular front counter workers there.  I realize this might be breaking a cardinal rule of blogging, but… just. Wow.  I believe I’ve mentioned “Obnoxious Co-Worker” in the past?  The one who, with such wonderful concern and kindness, commented on my doughnut-eating at work: “I thought you were on a diet!” and then thirty seconds later after I informed her I had thrown half of it away: “That’s wasteful.”  Well, a week ago yesterday, which would be last Friday the 2nd, there was… an incident.  An incident which, without boring you with the details, resulted in her biting my head off, entirely unprovoked, and me telling her if she bit my head off again, she and I were gonna go round and round!  (Yes, maybe it was juvenile, but I was just not in a mood that day to put up with anybody’s hatefulness without dishing out some of my own.)

So this week?  We were closed Monday in observance of Independence Day and I missed Thursday because The Boy had an appointment out of town.  But the rest of the time, the other three days we worked together, side by side, for five and a half HOURS?  We did so in complete silence!  She did not speak a word directly to me the entire week.  She went out of her way to avoid coming within three feet of me.  If we were slow and all of us were standing around, she made sure she was at the opposite end of the counter from me, and if I moved forward, she moved backward.  She kept her back turned toward me whenever possible.  And to top it all off, I received a package at work on Thursday when I was gone, and it mysteriously got put back in the outgoing mail and came back again on Friday!  Coincidence?  Accident?  Spiteful action by an insane harpy?  You decide.  I know which direction I’m leaning!

So I guess I say all that to say this:  I don’t mind working Saturdays by myself anymore!  I mean being the only one of the girls there, with the bosses alternating Saturdays.  I used to dread it and hate it and be really annoyed by the fact that we were slow and it was boring and I sat around reading magazines all day and resenting that I was the only one who had to work.  But now?  It’s like peace.  Sweet, quiet, OCW-free peace!  And business is a lot steadier lately, for some reason, so Saturdays are rarely so slow that they are boring.  And I can do my job better because I don’t feel the silent hate radiating off OCW like freakin’ Chernobyl!

So back to today.  Except for a few moments when one customer’s picky snideness was about to get my goat but good, I enjoyed working with Brother Boss 1 and his wife.  They are usually pretty entertaining.  Working at the store is just their Every Other Saturday/Summer job.  He’s an elementary school principal and she’s a high school band director.  His twin brother is the one who runs the store full time, although he, too, has a background in education.  I’ve been with them for almost 8 years.  They’re like family, in some ways.  They listen to me talk about my family and my life and they try to encourage me about my own (stalled out) teaching career.  They came to my wedding, even though they had to close the store early on a Saturday to do it.  Yeah.  I like them a lot. 

There was also something on my mind today that I may write about in detail in another entry, and I was thinking about the class reunion and all the stuff we still have to do for that.  I was bouncing ideas off Brother Boss 1 and we were talking about reunions and high school and how much people and perceptions change over the years.  I was asking for ideas for a reunion gift basket and his first words were “Oil of Olay…”  What a corker!

Until next time,



7 Quick Takes (Vol. 2) May 17, 2010

Hello all!  It’s a ‘7 Quick Takes’ day, and I’m going to try to actually make them quick!  Because…..

1) I’m going to try to get my hair cut today, because a) I have way too much hair, and b) people say the older you get, the shorter your hair should get.  Either way, I’m tired of looking like a wild and woolly hippie woman! (Hey, that could be my next blog title after I’m not fat-headed anymore!)  (Which, see #7)

2) If I decide I can spare the money, I’m also going to get my nails done because it’s past time.  If I can’t spare the money, I’m going to buy some gloves! 🙂

3) In the Kid Funnies category, the other night I posted a status update on Facebook about how my kids were asking questions about ouija boards.  Of course I told them this was something they did not want to mess with, and to leave them alone.  Then Daughter S. came back from her room and said “I have a question.  If there were ghosts and spirits, why would they choose some random piece of board to talk to people through- why not the tv?  Why not this wall?  Why not that desk?  Why not…” (you get the idea).  So I said I didn’t know, and told her to go to bed, and she went to her room and I heard her ask, “Hey, why are my pants unfolded?”  And I said, “I guess it was a ghost talking to you through your pants!”  We shared a good laugh over that one!

4) Also in the Kid Funnies category, a couple of nights ago I was in the living room using the computer after the kids had gotten in bed.  As usual, the girls were in there talking and giggling, until finally Daughter S. yelled, “MOM!  WOULD YOU COME IN HERE PLEASE!?”  So I did, and she goes, “Would you turn off the light, please?”  I looked at them with that Mom-look that says “Let me get this straight.  You called me in here to turn off the light?”  And she’s giggling like crazy and says they’ve been lying in there arguing for 10 minutes about who’s going to get up and turn off the light.  I couldn’t help but laugh too.   Those girls are so nuts! 

5) Today was a rough morning with The Boy.  He got up and started playing Avatar on the PS3 before I was even up, which he knows he’s not supposed to do in the morning, and then he got all mouthy and grouchy when Daughter S. had to help him turn the thing off. (Actually, she pushed him out of the way- I guess that would make me mad too.)  But I had to swat him on the butt, and he was crying and yelling about how his butt was already hurting from falling down at the skating rink yesterday on his field trip and I should never spank his butt again!  Then later when we got almost in front of his school, he said “I’m not getting out of this car.  I am comfortable where I am!”  Of course, I begged to differ, and I told him he was too, indeed, getting out of the car, and he was whining about why do we have to go to school, and I told him because you have to get smart so you can get a job that makes money so you can have what you want in life and not have people have to help you all the time.  Then I reminded him we only have 6 days left after today, and we will be out for the summer.  He was not much cheered, but got out of the car, nonetheless. 

6) I love reunions!  We’re having a family reunion of my mom’s side of the family the first weekend in June.  I’m so looking forward to it, except the drive.  Because my car is still a piece of crap that gets on my last nerve because of the gas gauge thing and the ‘missing/surging’ thing it does.  However, I will not complain about the car because it is still running and gets me from here to there.  Maybe I’ll go have that checked out today too.  (The other reunion is the 20-year Class Reunion I’m helping to plan.  We had a meeting last night, and it was much fun-ness!  Can’t wait to see how much weight I can lose by the time we finally get it together, which leads me to…….

7) I was really upset and devastated by my 5 lb weight gain last week (which I really think was mostly water retention because of all the junk food, but still) so I worked really hard this past week, stayed on track, watched points carefully, and lo and behold!  This week’s weight loss…. 9.2 lbs!  WOW!!  I knew I’d do well.  There was no question I’d lose, and I was hoping to undo the damage I did last week plus a pound or two at best, but 4.2?!  As Daughter S. says, “That’s Awesome-Sauce!”  My next 5% goal is another 16 lbs.  I think I can accomplish that by the end of June.  The next 16 need to come off by mid-late August.  At that point, I will be lighter than I’ve been in 6 years.  Woo hoooo!

And those are my 7 Quick Takes for today.  Gotta check my bank balance and see if I can track down my old hairdresser’s phone number!  Then shower and get myself to town!  See more 7 Quick Takes here.

Until next time,



Ok, Did I Drink A Gallon of Espresso In My Sleep?! April 28, 2010

Hello all!  I’m so excited!  I’m just wound up about everything!  Let’s see, where to start?

Weight Watchers meeting was yesterday.  I lost another 2.8, putting me at -33.6 since January 19.  I’m really excited because next week all I have to do is lose about the same again, and I’ll get a 5 lb. star, my 10% goal keyring, and my Stay and Succeed charm.  Yay me!  It’s funny though- I was watching the leader in the meeting yesterday, and she was wearing this cute little minidress…. I can’t imagine ever having those skinny little legs, even when I do get to my goal!  The Golden Goddess tells me I may never have skinny little legs- I may be built differently.  I guess only time will tell.  I’m still not able to clearly visualize myself at my goal weight, but it’s getting a little easier to imagine.

And speaking of the Golden Goddess, I’m not sure, but I think she’s planning to try to kill me!  We met yesterday for my regular counseling appointment, which lately has been at Regional park, walking on the trail, and she mentioned that her plan is that eventually we will meet 30 minutes earlier and walk the trail all the way to the lake and back.  You know how far that is!?  5 miles!!!   I think she might be nuts.  But we’ve talked about me training with her to do a 5K, which I don’t think would be all that hard, but walking FIVE miles before I have to go to work?  I don’t know if I’d make it through the day!

Another thing I’m super excited about is my 20-year high school reunion.  We’re just starting to plan our reunion and I’m really looking forward to it.  I know, call me a nerd, but I really do love getting to see people I graduated with, talking to them, seeing how their lives turned out.  I think it’s important to keep connected with your roots and your history.  And really?  We’re all adults now.  It doesn’t matter who was friends with whom in HS, who stayed skinny, who got fat, who has gray hair, who has NO hair.  It’s about people you loved, people you grew with, matured with, experienced and journeyed with.  And getting the chance to know people you weren’t friends with in HS but might be able to appreciate now that you’re older and wiser.  It’s about sharing what we’ve learned on life’s path, and about having fun together!!!  And miraculously, as far as I know, of a class of 90-something people, we haven’t had anybody die.  (Forgive me if I’m overlooking someone I didn’t know about, but to the best of my knowledge, we’re all still alive and kicking!) 

Also, I’ve been connecting with old friends on Facebook, which totally makes me happy.  Facebook might be the best invention ever.  It has given me a way to get to know people I thought I’d never actually know for themselves, as people, rather than just people I used to admire from afar.  To connect with people I thought had been lost forever. 

Work has been ok, even though one of our co-workers is definitely lost for good.  She’s left her husband and gone into hiding.  I was afraid we’d be horribly busy and running ourselves ragged, but so far it’s not too bad. 

Anyway.  I’m happy, life is good, and I’m still all jittery excited.  Who slipped me the espresso in my sleep?!  I haven’t even been to Starbucks yet today!

Until next time,


PS!!!!!!   Holy Crap!  I forgot to mention that if I decide to go, and can save up enough money, I’ll get to sing with my baby sister in a concert on the GREAT WALL of Flippin CHINA next year!  How totally cool is that?!


The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.


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