The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

For the Love of Zanax!! May 24, 2018

Filed under: Mood Swings,Whatever — DDKlingonGirl @ 8:46 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

Hello, all! I’m reaching out via The Journals tonight because I just need a place to vent. I took my “Happy Medicine” late today, might possibly have missed a day earlier this week, and now I just want to grab the entire world by the shoulders and shake it until its collective teeth rattle.

*

Let’s see. Where to start? Primarily I think the problem arises because I spend too much time on Facebook. It’s my nemesis, my downfall, my electronic drug of choice. It’s the place where I share most of what I’m doing but comparatively fewer of my actual thoughts, lest I get into an argument with a stranger, or worse, a friend, or possibly get a free diagnosis of what I call FDD: Facebook Disclosure Disorder. FDD is the tendency to share one’s EVERY thought, mood, opinion, struggle, triumph, meal, baby, pet, funny meme, or religious conviction. I have a mild case of it, and I have many friends who are suffering from TERMINAL FDD.

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So I edit myself. I don’t say what I think the vast majority of the time, especially not on days like today.  I wouldn’t have any friends left. Seriously. Unflattering selfies, political GARBAGE, whiny life problems (I deleted two of mine in that particular category today for fear I was coming across as a big ol’ baby), you name it. I was in Super B^*% Verbal Slap Down mode today. I would have given anything to just let go on some people.

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Politics is driving me crazy. I can’t stand either side, but I think I have become more liberal-leaning at this phase of my life, and I am absolutely sick to death of the posts I see every day. “They want you to die in a school shooting so they can take away our guns”?!? Seriously? Nobody in politics WANTS children to die in school shootings!! I saw that meme today and I nearly lost it.

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On the other hand I have a friend who shares no fewer than 50 anti-Trump memes a day. Every last one of them just makes me want to gag, not because I like the guy, but because “OK, WE GET IT! You are a liberal and you hate Trump!! Why don’t you post about what you had for lunch or something, like everyone else!” I can’t stand him, I’ll admit it. I cringe and retch every time I see his face, hear his voice, or read something he supposedly said. But for crying out loud, find something else to talk about once in a  while!

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Anyway. I’ve got a million other things to whine, complain, and worry about, but I am beginning to get to that point in my rant where I fully realize I just sound like a cranky douche-canoe and I should just shut up. I just have so much work to do in and around my house, so many things I need to be doing, and so little desire and energy to do them! And I need help with about half of them and help is taking its sweet time coming.

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Even Alaska has become a source of stress. I can’t make up my mind on my itinerary, what days I want to do what tours, and whether or not I want to cut my stay short in one town and add a day in another. I have several options, I guess, but I just don’t know how we’re going to feel or what kind of mood we (read: The Boy) are going to be in, so I don’t know what I should plan for. I know I’m trying to cram a whole summer’s worth of recreated memories into a week-ish  vacation. I just want The Boy to enjoy Alaska and love it as much as I do. Mostly I am super aggravated at myself for not making it longer to start with, because now it is much too expensive to change my flights, so I am stuck trying to prioritize what experiences I most want him to have, and it’s hard.

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Anyway. I just hope and pray we have a good time. I’m sure we will, but it will help if I learn to relax and go with the flow. I’m definitely going to try.

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Until next time,

D.

 

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