The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Changes, Starting Over, and Above All Staying In the Moment June 29, 2015

Hello, all!  Greetings from Alaska after a bit of a dry spell.  I have so much to tell you, it is hard to know where to start.  I know I am behind on sharing my adventures and tours on my days off, and if you follow me on Facebook too, you know I have fallen somewhat silent there as well.  I thought I would try to explain.  I have been under a crazy amount of stress here.  In short:  roommate troubles.  My roommate and I never really clicked.  We barely talked at all, but I knew she wanted one of us to move, and I assumed it was because I snore.  After a lot of tension, non-communication, assumption and talking to everybody but each other about the problem, she finally moved out yesterday without saying a word, and I was filled with relief and joy. Right up to the point where I got a new roommate the same night.  I was distraught, terrified I was going to make someone else as miserable as my previous roommate had appeared to be, and when my new roomie came back and found me in tears, I tried to explain what I had been through and why I was so upset.  She was very understanding about it all and went about unpacking her belongings and settling in.

*

So this morning I asked her if she slept, and she said she did, and I told her I had been afraid I would keep her awake and miserable as I assumed my previous roommate had been.  That’s when she told me I didn’t even snore.  At least not last night.  She said she heard me breathing, but not loud enough to disturb her or anything, and so it appears we will be fine, and the fear and other negative feelings I have inflicted upon myself and allowed to be inflicted upon me by my previous roommate will no longer plague me, and in fact seem to have been largely unnecessary.

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So.  Now I must get back to the business of enjoying my time here.  It appears that I will survive, despite how incredibly long three months seems.  Ok, two and a half months, and that sounds much better.  I am about to complete Week 8 of 19, and I have spent way too much time here in unhappiness.  I have been trying to figure out if I could ever live here permanently, and how to go about making that happen, and I have been wondering if I will go back to my previous job when I go home or try to find some other path, and within all that searching and wondering, I have allowed myself to be distracted from enjoying the fact that I am HERE NOW.  I have allowed my joy to be stolen by the physical challenges, the emotional difficulties, and the direction I will travel once I have passed through this section of my journey.  I have, as ever, failed to be in the moment!  I am now going to begin again to dedicate myself to enjoying this experience and try not to worry about where the road goes from here.

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With that in mind, here are a couple of pictures of one part of Alaska I have absolutely fallen in love with:  fireweed.  It is a wildflower that grows absolutely everywhere in the summer and it is the most beautiful thing ever.  Interestingly, it reminds me a lot of my favorite wildflower at home, Indian Paintbrush.  So I am not surprised that I love it.  The second picture is fireweed and lupin, another wildflower that I keep intending to photograph and share with my daughter who loves all things wolfy. 🙂

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I will try to post again tomorrow and share my last few Day Off adventures.  Thanks for staying with me!

Until next time,

D.

 

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