The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Happy Domino Day! July 30, 2014

I picked these as representative of this post because they’re pretty and they have yellow dots.

Hello all.  So I have something to share and talk about that I haven’t mentioned too much lately in light of other obsessions, but I really need all the motivation I can get on this, so I’m going to talk openly and honestly about it, and just throw it all out there.  Regular readers know I started this blog right about the time I started attending Weight Watchers meetings, right? Well, I did.  My first post here was January 21, 2010, which was two days after my first WW meeting.  Since that time, I have attended meetings consistently until the last year, when I started missing almost as many meetings as I attended.

*

The weight swing was as follows:  from January 19, 2010 to June 10, 2012 I lost 129 lbs.  Yep, you read that right.  June 2012 was the once in a lifetime cruise I took my children on all by myself, and it was also my baby sister’s wedding, in which I was a bridesmaid, and it was ALSO the graduation of my one and only class of English students, whom I (only marginally successfully) taught when I was 129 pounds heavier and they were freshmen, and most of them hadn’t seen me since the end of that year.  So AFTER that…. I apparently just sort of mentally gave up.  Maybe not all at once.  Clearly not all at once.  I kept going to meetings, kept occasionally exercising, kept half-heartedly tracking my points.  But not at all with any kind of consistency, efficiency, or determination…

*

…which has brought me to where I am today.  I have gradually at first, and then more rapidly, gained weight back until I am now at a net loss since January 19, 2010, of only 56 lbs.  My gain of two pounds this week put me at my heaviest weight in four years.  Up until now I have just sort of smiled and nodded at this progression, just shrugged and let it slide and figured I’d get it together at some point.  Well, that point has arrived.  I am blogging about this because I want people to know I am serious.  I have probably posted a half-dozen “I’m starting over” posts in the last two years, but this one is officially IT.

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I could probably go into a whole series of posts and thoughts about why we eat the way we do, why we eat for emotions’ sake, why we don’t exercise, why we make excuses when it comes to grocery shopping (that last is a real sore point with me.  It feels like an unavoidable fact that healthier food = a higher total at the cash register, which is so aggravating!) BUT for now I don’t think that falls within the scope of my purpose.  My point is at some moment you just have to choose to confront the issues and start fighting to fix them.

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I posted a meme on Fb today that said “You cannot fix what you choose not to confront.”  Or something like that, but it really stepped on my toes.  When it comes to the topic of health and weight loss and fitness, I always just sigh and talk about Oh, yes, it’s such a battle, it’s so hard, it’s such a struggle, I’m so tired of fighting it, who cares, what does it really matter, I have people who love me as I am, etc.  But you know what??  Seriously.  Do you know what? Those are all truths.  It is true that it’s hard, that it’s a struggle and a battle and that I’m tired of fighting it and that I have people who love me exactly as I am no matter what.  BUT… it is a battle and a struggle that is worth continuing to fight, tired or not.  The only victories in life, and I mean the ONLY big victories that have ever been won in the world, have come when the person or persons fighting refused to give up.  Think about it.  Wars, battles, political issues, sports contests, personal victories over demons of all kinds…have only been won when the persons fighting them FLATLY REFUSED TO GIVE UP!  Yes, I know that’s a lot of caps.  Sorry.  Don’t mean to yell and rant and rave, but the thing is, nothing is ever gained by sitting down and refusing to keep trying.  That’s why the poem “Footprints in the sand” is famous, but nobody has ever shared a poem about “Butt prints in the sand,” right??

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So today is the day.  I’m getting back on track, I’m going to start making healthy choices every day.  Domino effect.  Our WW leader used to do this “object lesson” in which she gave us all a domino and reminded us that all it takes to stop a falling train of dominoes is a little pressure in the opposite direction.  Just a little support behind one domino anywhere in the chain, to stop it from falling, and the cycle ends.  So that’s it.  It’s Domino Day.  I’m starting over for the last time.  And I’m never, ever, EVER giving up.

*

Until next time,

D.

 

4 Responses to “Happy Domino Day!”

  1. Brandi Edmonds Says:

    DeeAnne… You can do it…I too have sort of let myself go and looked up a year later 40+ lbs too heavy… I applaud u for doing WW I have tried it but not with much success .. If I could make good choices I wouldn’t be fat to start with. I started a nutrition supplement program a couple weeks ago that helps with metabolism, energy, and other benefits. It is an 8 week challenge.. If u want a sample I will send u one free.. I think it would be a program that would work great with weight watchers..you can check it out at

    http://www.brandiedmonds.le-Vel.com

    But no matter what don’t give up on yourself you are worth the effort!

    • Hi, Brandi! Thanks for reading. Isn’t it amazing how we just float along, not really realizing the gradual progression until we one day wake up and realize how far we have drifted? I looked at a picture from the cruise yesterday and realized how much I have re-gained since then and it was pretty discouraging. But as I said, I am getting back on track and staying there this time, no matter what. I will check out your link- thanks for sharing it.

      Stay strong and thanks again for reading!

  2. Jenny Says:

    I really enjoy reading your blogs, having discovered it via your Cruise Critic review. There was an article written recently by a UK journalist who lost around 1-2 lbs a week over several months. She said for a long time no one, including herself, really noticed a difference but then she suddenly realised that she was moving down dress sizes. This has got to be the easiest way to do it so it lasts a lifetime. Just start cutting out the foods that have no goodness in them at all (biscuits, doughnuts etc) and eat smaller portions of everything else, plus lots of veg and salads. If you’re any good at gardening you could even try growing things yourself to keep costs down. Little things like taking the stairs instead of the elevator, walking instead of driving etc all make a difference. I find running is a great way to keep weight off, even if it is sooo boring! And don’t beat yourself up if you occasionally slip and eat a piece of chocolate. (It takes me 10 mins of running in the gym to work off two slices of KitKat!). And eating healthily will benefit your children as well. Good luck and let us know how you are getting on.

    • Hi! I apologize for taking so long to approve and respond to your comment, but thank you so much for reading. I miss Cruise Critic. I wish I had a trip planned, but it will probably be years before I get to take another cruise. Thank you also for the sound advice. I plan to try to just make every choice with my goal solidly in mind. (This past weekend I didn’t do so great, but from this point forward I am definitely going to just visualize my goal every time I have a tough choice to make.

      Best of luck to you, and thanks again for reading and commenting!


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