Hello all. Today is a tough day all of a sudden. I have been thinking about some things and people related to the Great Summer Theater Experience, trying to really come to some conclusions and just let go of a few things. And when I say let go of things, what I really mean is people. Crushes and friendships that just don’t really have any viability in their current incarnations, that I have to just kiss on their figurative foreheads and let them go. I’m trying to do that. I am trying so hard.
And then I get on Facebook and see a friend’s engagement pictures, and at first I’m jealous. But then I tell myself, “No, I do not want to be jealous. I am going to be happy. Happy that some people are where they are supposed to be. Happy that people are content, and settled in who they are, and where they are, and where they are going.” But then ‘Margaritaville’ comes up on my iTunes, and I think, ‘You know…I would really love to just take a moment right now and escape. I would give anything to be sitting in a beach chair under an umbrella, with something cold and fruity in my hand, the breeze blowing, the sound and smell of crystal blue waves, and absolutely nowhere else to be. I would love to be able to just sit there and think, and not think, and just be there until I was OK, really, truly OK with where I am and where I am going.’ I feel that would take a long, long time.
But thankfully, thankfully, thankfully, I have an opportunity just on the horizon for that escape I am needing, and it absolutely could not come at a better time. The Blathering 2013 is just over two weeks away. Charleston, South Carolina. A city I have never visited, but really look forward to seeing. Meeting some more new people, finding my tribe, maybe. I am hoping that I will be able to strike a balance between enjoying the other attendees, meeting people, making friends, and also taking plenty of time for my own relaxation and reflection. Giving myself time to just…Be. Just be. Just stop a moment on the journey and be where I am.
I’m not sure why that is so hard in everyday life, that ‘just stopping for a moment on the path’ thing. Between work issues and social issues and kid issues and relationship and church issues, I feel like I REALLY need quietness today. I need a moment of introspection and deep meditation. (I’m quite proud of myself- I actually just listened to my own need and turned off my iTunes.) I might actually lie right down in the floor and just try to center for a bit.
Until next time,