Hello all! So, something came up today, if you’ll pardon the pun, given the subject I’m about to discuss. I know it’s an unpopular viewpoint with feminism and equality and all that jazz, but today I realized that there is a disparity between boys and girls in regard to certain vital life skills. Ok, vital may be overstating it on this one, but I am absolutely of the opinion that there is something that comes naturally to most boys, and that all girls need to know, and that is … how to hock a loogie. Seriously. After fighting a cold for a week and taking every medication known to man, trying every home remedy given me by every person I know, I am still suffering from sinus drainage. Throat-clearing, nose-blowing, all that useless stuff- none of it helps, and I think I have now realized I would be much better off if I could just master that age-old art of spitting!
Little side-note here. My mother used to love to come up with ideas for stories and then tell me I had to write them for her. She was the idea machine and I was the writer. One of her story ideas was this love story called Women Who Spit, and it was all about this farm boy who grew up following his mother around the fields and the garden and was embarrassed by her indelicate tendency to spit whenever she got dirt blown in her face or whatever. But in the end he realized that her gritty real-ness, her strength and tenacity and determination, all made for a great woman, and that perhaps the ability to spit the way she did was actually a marking characteristic he should look for in a girl, and he grew to appreciate both his mother, and all women who spit. And he also found himself one. I never actually wrote the story, and now I guess I don’t need to, but anyway. Where was I?
Oh yes, spitting. I have been told to drink hot tea, with lemon and honey. Or peppermint. Or any number of additives that are meant to help clear up, dry up, and vanish forever (or at least until the next germ gets through your defenses) that obnoxious, annoying, throat-destroying, singing-voice-eliminating drainage down the back of your throat. Well I CAN’T do it! I tried! It didn’t work and I nearly vomited. So I gave up and went back to rifling through the numerous medications I have bought (IN VAIN) in the last week to alleviate this problem. So far, I have to call No Joy. I am still suffering, and I am really rather displeased with that fact, given that we have had two days off from either rehearsals OR performances, and all of us were hoping to rest our voices and be completely healthy and refreshed and restored for our final week of the show (see the last dozen or so posts if you don’t know what I’m talking about). Unfortunately, however, half the cast has the same problem I do, and I don’t think we’re all going to be back to 100% by Thursday night. But I will promise that I will faithfully continue the attempt to make it stop (!!). I will take my megadoses of Vitamin C, drink my hot tea with lemon and honey, take the Sudafed, and Mucinex, and Chlor-whatever, and try to get it under control, so that I don’t sound like Barry White when I try to sing again.
Another little side note here. I guess all I had to do if I really wanted to learn that enviable skill of spitting was to google it. I just did that (responsible writing requires research, you know) and lo and behold, there is a ton of info out there on the entire subject! Mind-boggling, I know. I’m off to read some of those articles now, and perhaps learn a thing or two.
So now I leave you with these parting words:
Don’t kiss your honey,
When your nose is runny,
You may think it’s funny,
But it’s snot. 🙂
Until next time,