Hello all! Technically this is the second post of the day, but really the first, since the first-first was a re-blog. I want you all to know that this post is coming to you from inside a universe of sweat, both literal and mental. For one thing, I just finished exercising. At work. Never let anyone tell you that working in a church building is a bad deal, because hey- at what other job can you exercise and write a blog all in the same day and still get paid. Ok, there are probably a lot of others I’ve never even thought of, but just let me have my moment.
Anyway, the phone hasn’t been ringing much today, and I’m caught up on all my other tasks, and in the face of that boredom my weakness just crumbled. I found myself scrounging in the fridge in the fellowship hall and discovering leftover triple chocolate fudge cake from their last gathering. Now, I knew if I ate it, I’d be down to about ONE Weight Watchers point left for the day, but, sadly, I didn’t choose to stop myself. So in order to combat my weakness, I decided to try to hike up some points on my ActiveLink monitor by going for a jog in the upstairs hall. And that is the source of the sweat. A) Heat rises, and it’s hot up in that old hall. B) I just did something I’ve never done before in my entire life. Now for some people, what I’m about to tell you is probably your warm-up for the actual exercise, but for me it was a pretty big deal: After climbing the stairs to the second floor, I jogged up and down that hall…for 20 minutes straight! Initially, I set my timer for 12 minutes. At the end of the timer, I thought I might collapse, but instead, my mind said, ‘Hey, why not try for 20?’ So without stopping, I set my timer for another 8 minutes and kept going, and I finished it! I was all proud of myself for the 10 straight minutes I did a couple of days ago, but this is a whole new dimension for me. (At least I hope it will be a whole new dimension, as I want to lose 40 lbs. in the next four and a half months before The Blathering in Charleston.)
The mental sweat is coming from the audition for my local Little Theatre that is looming on Saturday like a date with death. A few days ago, I had talked myself out of it. I told myself I didn’t really want to do it anyway, and that if I am selected, it will mean a huge time commitment once rehearsals start- 7-10 pm every weekday for about a month, and who has time for that, right? But here’s the deal. This is just another one of those big steps for me, those ‘hatching’ moments where I take a chance on doing something just because I’ve always thought it would be fun. This is just. like. Charleston. Despite my misgivings and fears, I have to give it a try, or I will hate myself. Seriously. If I let this Saturday and Sunday go by without forcing myself to go to that audition, I will feel like a giant failure. I really don’t know what the big deal is. I mean, I’m not even trying for a part- just the chorus, for crying out loud. Maybe part of me is secretly hoping they’ll think I’m good enough and just give me a tiny small part, but I don’t even care about that. Really. I just want to say I tried it, I took a chance, and I went for it.
Ok, calming down now. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat. Oh, that reminds me! I was about finished with the 12 minute section of my jog when I noticed the Bible verse on the bulletin board at the end of the hall. I thought it was perfect for the moment, and that if/when I do another race of some sort, I will have this put on a t-shirt: Psalm 150:1, which reads in part: “Let everything that has breath praise God!” So for the rest of my jog, I prayed thankful prayers that I had breath (albeit huffing and puffing breath), that I was physically able to even attempt to move, that I would have strength to finish the goal I had set for myself, both for today and for the next few months. And I finished today’s, so woot-woot for me. 🙂 I know you’ll be holding your breath to hear how the audition goes.
Until next time,