The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Allure Trip Journal: Part 5- First Port Day- Nassau, Bahamas! June 8, 2012

pirate museum

pirate museum (Photo credit: greyloch)

Hello all!


Continuing the story:

On the first port day, May 28, we were docked in Nassau, Bahamas.  I got up at 7, took the stairs up to deck 5, and walked the walking track as far as the turn-off to Boardwalk.  I grabbed a couple of doughnuts from the case and took them back to the room as, shall we say, Wake-Up Incentive!  The kids shared the doughnuts, but didn’t like the Magic Shell-like consistency of the chocolate coating.  (I know, kids can be so weird.)  But the doughnuts had achieved the intended result- the kids got up, and we got dressed, collected our “port stuff” and went to the Windjammer Buffet for breakfast.  It was fine- I don’t remember what we all had, but I’m sure eggs, bacon, sausage, and Danishes were all involved.  We had an enjoyable breakfast (I guess, because I described it thus in my original journal:  It was good.  And fun.)  I’m assuming it was a bit of a zoo, but we wandered far enough that we found a seat.  The trick, I think, is to hover nearby until a party of your size leaves their table and then swoop in like buzzards and sit yourselves down while the waiter is still wiping away the previous occupants’ crumbs!


Anyway.  My original desire was to get off the ship as early as possible, take a walking tour of all the government buildings and the immediate area, and then hit the Pirates Museum, Ardastra Zoo, and end up with Junkanoo Beach.  But then, sadly, I realized that 1) it was vacation and the kids were not going to be thrilled about getting up with the chickens every morning, and b) they didn’t give two hoots about seeing government buildings, and d) I had zero confidence in my ability to maneuver around the city in such a way as to make what we were seeing coherent and interesting.  ‘Directionally challenged,’ you recall.  So I decided we’d get off the ship just in time to walk directly to the Pirates museum, arriving there shortly after opening.  We’d tour it, then catch a cab or bus or something to Ardastra Zoo and Gardens, arriving just in time to see the only scheduled Flamingo Show we’d be able to catch, maybe the Parrot feeding, see a few monkeys and other wildlife, and then go to the beach for a couple of hours before getting back to the ship.


The plan went well, as far as it went.  We were off the ship in a fairly timely manner.  The chaos at the port was pretty intimidating for a first-timer- all the touts for cabs and hair braiding and so forth.  From watching YouTube videos, reading tour books and looking at walking maps, I was fairly sure I could find my way to the Pirates Museum, but I think somebody saw the confused look on my face, and after asking if I needed a taxi and being refused, asked where I was trying to get to, and I told them the Pirates Museum and they pointed me in the right direction.  I actually was already on the right track though, for once.  😀


We made it to the museum, met the enterprising “Pirate” gentleman at the entrance, and went into the shop to buy our tickets.  (3 Adults + 1 Child = $42 if you’re interested.)  We toured the museum, and it was mildly amusing, but it was hard to enjoy for two reasons:  One, Daughter J. has serious issues with dark places with spooky noises coming out.  She kept hanging on to me and cringing, even though the lady at the entrance had assured us that “nothing jumps out at you, nothing touches you.”  I guess J. didn’t believe her.   And Two, The Boy wasn’t as into it as I had hoped, once we passed the areas with the figures and recreations, and he kept nagging at us to “hurry up, come on, let’s go!”  (Maybe that was payback for when he tried to show me the fish, y’think?)  Anyway, we finished the tour, took the obligatory pics with our heads in the stocks, and exited through the gift shop where I bought a few post cards and little parchment treasure maps, or something like that.  I’m not even sure.  I was just beginning to exhibit the symptoms of Crappy Souvenir Buying Syndrome.


We asked for directions to the zoo, and proceeded to attempt to follow them, but I think we basically circled the block before noticing a taxi stand and procuring taxi transportation to the zoo.  The fare was $17 with tip, which struck even me as a little ridiculous, but we paid it.  If I remember correctly, Daughter S. began to be rather aghast at my complete helplessness at this point.  My attitude toward her was something along the lines of “Geez, my Girl Scout days were many eons ago, cut me some slack, how ‘bout?”  But we made it to the zoo, took in the flamingo show (which was short, but pretty funny) and the parrot feeding, looked at a few other animals, got pictures made with a safari hat with a bird on our heads, also pictures with the one bird giving us a kiss on the nose, bought some much needed cold drinks, and hot-footed it out of there.


Before I leave the tales of the Zoo, I have to relate the story of Daughter S. stalking the flamingos after the show was over, determined for them to stay still long enough for her to get a close-up picture with them.  She basically succeeded in this endeavor, and we have some really cute pics of her imitating their stance and the looks on their faces.  I know, it takes a certain amount of talent to imitate the look on a flamingo’s face, but still, she managed.   She and The Boy were really cute feeding the parrots too.  I have pictures of them standing there with birds on their arms and heads, holding out their little apple slices.  They really enjoyed it, I think.  Then those pics I mentioned before- the flamingos’ drill sergeant is stationed near the exit of the zoo, with a well-trained bird (NOT a flamingo!) perched on a safari hat for people to have their pictures made with, for a small donation.   They also found some other parrots on perches in that same area, that would do little tricks for you and talk to you.  One of them was really funny- it would copy you if you stood in front of it and moved your head side to side.  You move, he moves, you move, he moves.  It was so cute!


So then we asked for directions to where we could catch the bus, and we managed to get there, despite some uncertainty that we were actually going in the right direction.  ( I SWEAR, I need some kind of medical treatment for this condition, really!)  We found a bus stop, right near some guys who seemed to be grilling conch or something, and also, much to my great happiness, a security officer, or someone who was posing as a security officer, who seemed to be functioning to protect tourists from the guys grilling conch on the corner, and also to stop the bus for helpless chickens like us, who would never have managed to brave that busy street to catch the bus if he hadn’t been there.  I wasn’t sure exactly who or what he was, but I didn’t care, because the bus came after just a few minutes (Number 10, fare $1.25 pp, if you’re interested).  He slowed traffic so we could run across the street, and we gratefully climbed on, flopped down, and tried to take in some brief glimpses of the beach through the windows as we sped back to the ship.  And that is the story of how I went to the Bahamas and didn’t go to the beach.  Bummer for me.


When we got back to the ship, a not-so-great thing happened.  I was dawdling, taking pictures, and the kids were outdistancing me on the walk back from the drop-off area to the security area, but I had the girls’ IDs in my wallet.  They came back to get them from me and told The Boy to wait there for them, but when we got to that area, Guess Who had completely disappeared!  We asked security if they had seen him and they said to go to the Gangway and see if he had been scanned onto the ship.  Sure enough, the little monster had already gotten onboard.  The girls headed to the room to either see if he had already made it, or to be there when he did show up, and I started combing the decks looking for him.


I went up to the pool area first, figuring that would be his immediate destination.  I guess I am a stress eater, and when I saw the Wipeout Café, I remembered the reputation of the Pretzel Dogs from that establishment and figured this might be my only time to have one, so I zipped through the room, plated one, then left the plate and ate it as I continued my search for He-Who-Was-Now-In-Huge-Trouble.  (The pretzel dog was really good, btw.  I wish I’d had a chance to get another later, but I never did.)  And here, I have to say, I realize this is going to sound like a horrible thing, but I figured he was on the ship and pretty safe for the most part, and at some point in here I found a phone and called our room, and he was already there.  I remember thinking, “Great, I can’t believe this- Day 2 and I’ve lost one of them!”  But he was fine and we roll on.


I returned to the room and gave The Boy the required lectures about safety and dangers and so forth.  It turned out that a staff member had seen him and asked him if he needed help and accompanied him to our room.  We decided that he could be forgiven of this lapse in judgment as long as he was aware that he would NOT be allowed to roam alone after that, no matter what.


So Daughter S. wanted nothing but to shower and nap, but the other two were hungry, so we went to the buffet, where they had hamburgers and hot dogs and French fries, Oh My.  I had a little lo-mein and curry, neither of which was particularly mind-blowing.  I took them back to Boardwalk and they rode the carousel again, and Daughter J. finally got to get her picture taken with some characters.  (The whole family had our picture taken with King Julien on the Promenade the night before, but this was her first solo picture.)  The Madagascar Penguins were down there doing their thing, and the picture we got turned out quite cute.  Then we went to the pool deck where The Boy enjoyed the Lazy River and Daughter J. sampled several of the different pools.


I found a shady chair and journaled a little.  My unfortunate tendency toward negativity was rolling over me, and I was thinking and beating myself up about the Weight Watchers Failure I was becoming and the times so far I had already been cranky with the kids and said mean things that I obviously couldn’t rewind and un-say, and so forth and so on.  Then I got drowsy and put the journal down and relaxed a little, and I was determined that tomorrow being a Sea Day, I would find some time for ME so that I could be more of who I wanted to be for THEM.

Up Next:  Formal Night Festivities


Until next time,



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