Hello all. The overarching theme for my life lately is ‘CRAZY’! It has seemed like every time I’ve wanted to sit down and write here, I would be suffering from terminal scatter-brain-itis, and completely unable to translate all the things I wanted to say into a semblance of order. So much has been going on- I had my 39th birthday on the 5th, met my sister’s new boyfriend, started a fitness challenge at my gym, marked the anniversary of my Grammy’s death, marked the anniversary of 9/11, and dealt with The Boy’s “misdeeds” at school. There has been so much I’ve wanted to say about all those things. But on top of all that, I also happen to be the mother of two High School Seniors.
This is monumental. There are so many things they need money for, so many issues like college applications, scholarship applications, ACT tests, deadlines, driver’s licenses, senior pictures, job searches. The list is endless. My brain has not stopped wheeling for weeks. The problem is, I haven’t really started tackling these issues yet. Daughter S. has not taken the ACT, nor does she know what college she wants to go to (other than the Dallas Art Institute, which is way out of range, both financially and transportationally.) She hasn’t identified any scholarships she wants to apply for, and she doesn’t have her driver’s license, and she only seems to practice driving about once every three weeks!
Daughter J. is a whole different set of stresses. She has learning disabilities and most likely would not be able to handle traditional college. There are agencies like the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation, which are in place for students like J., to help her with getting into either a vo-tech course or some other type of job training, and to help her find a job that suits her. We haven’t talked to anyone from this agency, although her teacher did give me a contact name just last night. The problem with Daughter J. is she sometimes doesn’t think in realistic terms. She wants to work for Disney and sing and act. She’s never acted in her life and never even done a solo in her high school choir class, but this is what she daydreams and fantasizes about doing. I think her Plan B is to do something involving working with animals, like at a veteranarian’s office or something similar, but we haven’t turned in any applications. (As a side note, I have to say I don’t know where J. gets her whole acting/singing fantasy. It’s not like she has a mother sitting here singing Broadway tunes into her
microphone fist and channeling Idina Menzel in Wicked!)
So basically we are dealing with a lot of issues and a lot of questions and a lot of possibilities, but we can’t seem to lay out a plan and take the first step. Part of the problem is financial. I haven’t signed up Daughter S. for the ACT because I don’t have the fee. I haven’t put Daughter J. in Driver’s Ed because I didn’t have the fee at the time a class was open. We haven’t ordered their Senior stuff because I don’t have the money. I’ve been needing to get a second job for a while now, but just put it off because I absolutely hate the thought of so much time away from the kids! But I know I’m going to have to just bite the bullet if I want to get all this taken care of, because I can’t seem to depend on either of the people I’ve been married to, to help much. Another part of the overall problem is transportation. The girls can’t really consider getting jobs because the jobs they might want are in a nearby town about 7 miles away and they can’t drive and don’t have a car anyway! That, and I feel like school is their job right now. Daughter S. has a crazy schedule this year, a lot of hard classes, and I don’t think she needs to worry about a job at this point. If she had her DL and a car and was running around all the time, I’d make her get a job to pay for her own gas, but since she doesn’t…
I guess what I’m trying to say is it feels like my life got thrown in a blender and hit frappe’! There are so many things I need to do, and not enough money or time to do them all! As another example, I still have never cleaned out the garage and my mother is planning to have a garage sale at her mini-storage shed this weekend. (I know, and here I sit blogging, right?) I have continued my fitness journey and I am participating in a fitness challenge at my gym, which is a 7-week event where we earn points for showing up for workouts, turning in food logs, attending accountability meetings, meeting a personal goal, doing workout challenges, and for pounds lost and body fat percentage lost. I’m planning to kick a$$ and take names in this challenge, incidentally. I’ve logged my food intake every day so far (today is only Day 5. Ha!) and I’ve gone to two workouts this week and I plan to go to two more. At Weight Watchers this week, I lost 4.2 lbs, bringing my total since January 2010 to 116.2. (!) Unfortunately I still have between 95-98 to go if I want to be a WW leader, which I do. I have to be in their recommended range, and that’s what it will take. (Actually, I can get a note from my doctor if I hit a weight that is the best place for me and I can’t go any lower.) We’ll see what happens. I may be able to hit the Magic Number easier than I expect, now that I’m becoming an exercise person too. (Still weird for me, that.)
Next entry I’ll talk about meeting my baby sis’s new boyfriend and my Grammy’s death and 9/11. I have a poem I’m planning on sharing that I wrote when the Oklahoma City bombing happened, that I felt fit on 9/11 just as well as April 19.
Until next time,