The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

The Dirtiest Thing I’ve Ever Written (Part 1) August 5, 2011

Hello all!  I can now say I have really and truly gotten dirty!  This past Saturday was the event I had been waiting for, wondering about, dreaming about, and rattling on about, to anyone who would listen.  For the first time in my life, I am a competitive athlete.  Now THAT, dear friends, is a sentence I never thought I’d utter.  But there it is, right here on this blog, on the public interwaves for all the world to behold.  And I have to say, it feels better than I could have imagined.  Here’s the scoop:


On Saturday, July 30, my sisters and brother-in-law and I competed in a 5k run.  Not just any run, oh no.  It was The Dirty 30 Race, a 5k fun run, warrior dash, adventure race, whatever you want to call it.  There was mud involved.  Obstacles like rope walls and cargo nets were present.  It was a flat-out funfest!  My youngest sister found it a few months ago and got us all involved.  It benefitted two different charities, The Spero project, and Water Is Life.  I regret to say though, that wasn’t the biggest draw.  The biggest draw for me was the lure of challenge.  The enticing aroma of accomplishment.  In short, I have never been an athlete.  I played T-ball in first grade.  I probably sucked.  I have never, EVER been a person who enjoyed exercise.  But as my devoted readers know, I have made a lot of changes this year.  I have begun working out regularly by taking group classes at a local gym and have enjoyed good results.  I have improved my strength and muscle tone and made an obvious difference the appearance of my body.    This is on top of the transformation I had begun by following the Weight Watchers eating plan since January 2010.  In all, I have lost one-hundred and eleven pounds.  I still have a long way to go, but this is an amazing change for me.


So when my baby sister found this race, I immediately wanted to do it.  I was hungry for a chance to challenge myself, to push my limits, to see what this new body could do.  Both my sisters are devoted to fitness, and my bro-in-law has recently discovered the joy of working out, so we all signed up for the race.  Friday night when I got off work, I drove to my sister’s house and we got on the road.  The race took place in Mulhall, Oklahoma, which is about 45 minutes north of OKC, where my youngest sister lives.  My middle sister and her husband and I were going to stay the night at youngest sis’s house and we would all get up and go to the race together the next morning. 


I had gotten a really good laugh that afternoon at work.  I was texting youngest sis and asked her if we were making a healthy dinner or if everyone was going to be guzzling protein shakes.  I think my expectations were a little skewed.  I thought they were all looking at this as a serious athletic event that we needed to prepare for with extra excellent nutrition and plenty of rest.  What I discovered was that Mexican food and adult beverages were high on their agendas and protein shakes… were not.  We had a really great time eating good Mexican food and after a few more adventures, we went home and decorated our team T-shirts until almost 1:oo a.m.


Our team shirts, by the way, were designed by youngest sis.  She picked out all the necessary adornments, and we had zebra stripes and neon puff paint, and bright bandanas, and it all worked fabulously together.  (In my not-so-humble opinion.)  But finally we finished decorating shirts and hit the sack.  And wouldn’t you know, despite all the extra help in the ‘likely to make you fall asleep’ department, I couldn’t sleep worth a flip!  I’m not sure if it was excitement or fear or just the fact that the room was rather stuffy, but I felt like I got only a couple hours’ sleep, if that.  Not what I wanted to be starting my first ever 5k with!  But we take what we can get, and I woke up slightly before 7, even without an alarm clock, because that is what my sometimes obnoxious body has trained itself to do.  (Yeah, I can’t sleep in, even when I try.) 


So I woke up, got dressed in full race regalia (zebra striped bandana on the head, Twisted Sisters black t-shirt with neon-outlined zebra stripe letters and a number 1 on my back.  Because I’m the oldest) and started wondering what was for breakfast.  Youngest sis had made some healthy muffins the day before, and I scarfed one of those.  Later I drank a terrible excuse for a protein shake with too much water and very disagreeable vanilla flavor.  But I figured it was enough to get me through.  Then the rest of the crew woke up and got ready, and we were on the road by a little after 8:oo a.m.  We had to be at the race site by about an hour before our heat time, which was 10:00 a.m., and we weren’t sure how long it would take, although let me just say the likelihood of being late ANYWHERE is almost nil when Bro-In-Law is driving.  Seriously.  The dude has speed issues.  He rarely drives slower than 85. 


So we arrived on site and picked up our race packets.   …. To Be Continued!

The Twisted Sisters and Big Bad Brother In Law!

Until next time,



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