The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

I Was Going to Give This a Different Title, But… February 14, 2011

Antalya ( Turkey ). Toilet seat used as flower...

Image via Wikipedia

Hello all!  … when I was almost finished preparing it for publication, I happened to notice that there were about a dozen other blog entries with similar titles already, so I had to go a different route.  As you (now cannot) can tell from today’s title, (Originally “Valentine, Schmalentine!”) this particular holiday is not my favorite.  That may be a slight understatement.  I HATE Valentine’s day!  It’s not just because I don’t have anyone to be all lovey-dovey-schloopy-mushy with at the moment, and it’s not that I have anything against chocolate.  Or flowers.  Or diamonds.  It’s just that it’s so commercialized.  Just like every other holiday, of course, but still… I think if you’re in a committed relationship where you are so thankful and appreciative and all the other wonderful descriptors they fill greeting cards with, then by golly, you should demonstrate it every single day!  Each and every day, you should express to the people you love exactly how much you love them, and not just with words.  Words are often easy to say and not so easy to MEAN.  Actions speak louder, as they say. 


So in other words, you SHOW people how you feel and what they mean to you by what you do for them.  And not just in a ‘look, I’m sending you flowers at work so everybody knows somebody loves you and all the single losers* will get jealous’ kind of way.  It’s little things, like putting the toilet seat down, cleaning out the gutters (ok, that’s pretty big), getting supper started, loading the dishwasher, washing and servicing the car, or whatever. 


I have to say here, that if I WERE in a relationship, or married, or whatever, I’m afraid my significant other would probably feel pretty unloved, because all I ever do anymore is read, mess around on the computer, and um… read.  I haven’t been doing a decent job of keeping the house clean or fixing lovely family meals or any of that stuff I’ve been ranting about for a year now.  I always have good intentions.  Oh yes.  I was going to make the whole family work on the garage yesterday.  The Beasties talked me into renting a movie, and my plan was to require that each one of us sort, organize, and empty one box from the garage before we watched the movie.  Well, not only did we NOT work on any boxes from the garage before we watched the stupid movie, we didn’t even work on any AFTER!  Be-cauuuuse… I was busy reading the book I bought from the same place we rented the movie from, and I couldn’t make myself quit reading!  What was this gripping piece of literature, you ask?  Oh, it was The Unofficial Guide to Cruises.  Remember, I’m still obsessed with the whole ‘taking the kids on a cruise’ idea.  Although even that has begun to lose its luster with me.  I’ve been reading too many message boards like CruiseMates and CruiseCritic, and there are a lot of negatives and a lot of complaints and just generally the whole thing sounds like a ridiculously expensive, huge disappointment waiting to happen.  But maybe it’s just my pessimistic nature kicking me in the teeth.  Or, again, perhaps it’s that I’m the Queen of Wishy-Washy.  Or maybe it’s just that I’m realizing the danger inherent in getting my heart set on all the details of something that is almost a year and a half away, and pretending to lose interest in the whole idea is my form of self preservation.  There is sooooo much stuff that could happen between now and then, stuff that interrupts life and turns it on its ear, stuff that makes all our plans go out the window and splat on the sidewalk.


Not that I expect anything in particular to happen.  I’m just pessimistic like that.  On a totally new topic, I applied for a new job today.  On a whim, because I saw an opening posted in the store and thought I might be good at it.  It was for a Book Manager at Hastings.  I don’t know whether to hope I get it or not, because on one hand, I’ve been where I am for going on NINE years now.  I’m good at what I do, I’m familiar, I’m comfortable.  Sometimes, though, that might not be a good thing.  I can’t seem to make up my mind about teaching, although I have recently begun to re-entertain the idea of moving to Alaska to teach, like I planned before my short-lived marriage to RMB interrupted my Alaska fantasies. 


Anyway.  The only real concern I have with getting a new job right now is with having to tell my brand new employers that I won’t be available for a week in late May/early June because we are going to Disney World.  They might question my commitment to my job.  But I guess they’d understand that these travel plans were made six months before I ever even thought of applying for that job, and if they don’t, The Macs will always take me back.  (The Macs- that’s my new nickname for the family I work for.)


So I guess that’s where we are today.  We hate commercialized love-fests, we’re lazy and obsessed with far-away fantasies like cruises and teaching in Alaska, and we’re worried about issues with new jobs we just applied for online, ten minutes ago.  Thank goodness I have therapy tomorrow!


Until next time,


*PS- No, being single doesn’t automatically make you a loser, but DUDE!  That’s should totally be a Weird Al song, a parody of Beyonce’s All The Single Ladies, but it should be All the Single Losers!  It’d be a classic!  Al, are you listening!?

AND FINALLY… Happy Valentine’s Day to all my friends, family, devoted readers, and assorted others.  Hope your day is filled with one or more of the many different kinds of love that exist in every moment of every day.


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