The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

In Pursuit of Sparkle and Growl! October 6, 2010

Hello all!  It’s been too long since I posted a new entry.  I was getting my computer fixed, and now it’s mine again and I am happy.  And now I don’t have to use my purse or a pillow on my lap to prop the screen up because it stays up on its own!  Ah, bliss.  I’m actually supposed to be doing dishes right now.  That’s what I told myself I was going to be doing when I got home from taking the Crumb Crunchers to school.  But like the disciplined, self-controlled, energetic, tightly organized machine that I am, I sat down and started messing with the computer instead! 

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Life has been good lately.  I have been feeling pretty happy and empowered and like I have an almost unbearable amount of potential and limitless future ahead of me.  I’m sure I’ll get kicked in the teeth again shortly, but for now I’ll just enjoy smiling.  (I know, is that not the most sadly pessimistic thing you ever heard or what?) 

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Weight Watchers was great yesterday.  I had been slacking off pretty seriously for about three weeks.  Not trying hard, not writing down what I ate, not making it a point to eat healthy.  I wasn’t eating everything in sight, and I was trying to eat healthy-ISH, but definitely not at the top of my game.  So this past week I finally got my head out of my backside and got it on straight, ate more veggies, tracked all my food, basically started over as if I were on Week 1.  I lost 11.4 lbs!  No, that’s not a typo- E. Leven!  I know a large portion of it was probably water weight, but part of it was not.  So now I’m all hyped up, but I’m hoping I can at least be good enough to lose 1 or 2 this week.  I know it’s not really possible to have such a huge loss two weeks in a row, and I actually don’t want to; I know that the slower it comes off, the more likely it is to stay off, and that’s definitely my goal.  Slow and steady and permanent is infinitely preferable to fast and flashy and temporary.

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Another reason I’m happy is that The Boy is doing much better in school this week.  Last week I was stressed out because he wasn’t getting his work done in school and got in trouble and got paddled, and this week he has gotten most of his work done in school, seems to be in a good mood, and I have had no more calls from his teacher.  Big. Improvement!  The Golden Goddess and her cohort Big Curly (my counselor and the kids’ counselor) have been suggesting I consider home-schooling him.  That has not seemed do-able up until now, but I’m thinking it could be accomplished if it becomes necessary.  He still hates school and thinks it’s stupid and pointless, but at least he’s doing what they tell him to do and not getting swats just for being stubborn like his Other Biological Parent.  (Hi, OBP!  Love ya!)  But you know what?  I’d really rather him enjoy learning and be interested and engaged in what he’s doing and be forming a habit of being a lifelong learner who is open to what the world can teach him, rather than just counting the minutes until he can check the last requirement off the list and walk across a stage in a funny hat and grab a piece of paper from (most likely) a man who has made his life miserable for 4 years!  If that means I become his primary educator, I’m open to the possibility!  So it’s definitely something I’m praying about, and I’d appreciate any of my readers who feel inclined to do so to pray with me, that I will know what I should do and what is best for my son.

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In fact, my counselor has suggested I could start a small homeschool that would include other kids like The Boy, who don’t really have learning disabilities, but who struggle to function in the Box that is traditional educaction.  She seems to think I could charge a reasonable rate, teach a small handful of kids, and be doing what I have wanted to do, which is teach, in a setting that was more suited to me than a public school classroom.  When she first said it, I thought, “Yeah, right.  I could never do that.”  But now when she has told me she already knows of several people who would be interested in such an arrangement, I’m thinking, “Why the heck not?  I can do anything I set out to do, and with God, all things are possible.”  So maybe there’s some research and study to be done and some serious prayer to be said, and a new direction to my career in my future.  Who knows?

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Overall, I’d say life is pretty good right about now.  I’m feeling peaceful and contented and looking forward to the future and all the possibilities.  I’m in hot pursuit of the qualities I desire:  Sparkle and Growl!  I think I’m catching up!

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Until next time,

D.

PS- I’ll define Sparkle and Growl next time!

 

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