The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Jokes On Sickos, Shrinking Klingons, Harry/Barry, and Ice Cold Privates June 29, 2010

Hello all. It’s really late and I don’t have anything of vital importance to talk about, but I hate checking other people’s blogs and finding they haven’t written anything in a week.  It makes me feel like I should post more often.  I haven’t talked lately about wanting to increase my audience and have my view counts rise, and become famous and admired by all the brilliant people.  And speaking of rising view counts, I totally thought I’d get more hits with the title of the entry before last.  You know, with the Food Porn and all.  I expected that my site would come up every time some filthy pervert searched for porn images.  Not that I encourage such a thing at all, but I just figured it would happen.  And it actually has garnered a few hits.  I just think it’s darn funny- some nasty freak searching for something twisted to look at ends up with my blog about stuffed French toast and fat people.  Mwahahahahaha!  Joke’s on you, Sicko!

And speaking of Fat People, and Klingon-woman bloggers who are doggedly trying to lose their membership in that group, my walking this week garnered me a whopping -2.8 lbs.  That word ‘whopping’ is a little facetious.  It’s not the most I’ve ever lost in a week, but I had a few days where I didn’t eat right, and if I hadn’t walked so much I would probably not have lost at all.  The problem is, I haven’t walked yet this week.  Ok, it’s only Tuesday, but I think by this time last week, Cousin and I had walked twice!  Oh well.  I started to whip out the excuses, like tomorrow night’s church, and Cousin has to work Friday nights, and either Friday or Saturday night I’m going to the movies with RMB to see Eclipse (!!) and so forth and so on.   But then I decided that I can walk after church if I really want to, and I can walk by myself even if Cousin is working, and I can walk all the other days, even if I do go to the movies one night.  Right this minute though, my left knee is going “You just think you’re gonna go walking, Miss Smarty-Pants!  Little do you know!”  (In other words, it’s hurting.  Sitting here in this recliner with my laptop, my knees sort of relax outward and they often start to ache before I’m done writing and I have to flex them so that they’re straight.)

And speaking of movies I’m dying to watch, Eclipse tops the list, but I also saw the trailer today for Deathly Hallows, the last Harry Potter movies!  Dude, they look so good!  The three principal actors look and sound SO old, though!  Daniel Radcliffe answers a question from Voldy in the movie, and his voice is so deep it could give Barry White a run for his money!  I’m thinking, ‘Ok, when did they start serving Hormone Pasties at Hogwarts!?’  But the trailer did look good, and I’ll get to see it on the big screen, because I saw in one article that it will be among the previews before Eclipse.  Yay! 

And speaking of Eclipse, and the current cultural popularity of vampires in general, and how sick and twisted and insane some people are, I was reading a blog the other day that mentioned they have now invented a “personal satisfaction device” that is glittery and hard and made to put in the freezer so the user can have “real vampire sex.”  Ok, what!?  Are you really trying to tell me that there are people out there who are so obsessed with icy, glittery, and oh yeah, FICTIONAL! vampires that they’d actually spend their, ahem, hard-earned money to purchase an item like that!?!  Holy crap!

Anyway.  People are insane and there’s no getting around it.  Between stuffed French toast and vampire privates, there’s something out there for everyone!  And now, what’s out there for me is my bed.  I have to escape this room and my two goofy daughters quoting random lines from Pirates of the Carribean word for word!  Goodnight, all!

Until next time,



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