The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Snakes and Snails, and the Oscar Goes To…. June 24, 2010

Filed under: Kid Kraziness,Parenting Perils,Weight Woes — DDKlingonGirl @ 10:44 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Hello all.  Somebody who is raising little boys please tell me that it’s normal that they do stupid stuff without thinking.  Stuff that makes you wonder whether their high speed chase video will end up on YouTube or CBS news.  Stuff that makes you think they’ll someday either be a career criminal or an Oscar-winning moviemaker.  I’m sure there’s probably a lot of room for in-between there, but I don’t know what it is.  I do know that my son’s behavior is going to drive me straight into a mental institution, and he’s going to be in his own accomodations right down the hall! 

It’s my own fault for letting him watch the movies he has watched that have inspired today’s Serious Lapse In Judgement.  He is very imaginative, very impressionable, and very creative.  Harnessed for good, those traits are wonderful in a kid!  When they are in the hands of a child who is also dangerously impulsive and who seems to be unbelievably unclear over the difference between ok and not ok, and acceptable and unacceptable, those traits are a recipe for disaster.  I don’t really want to go into exactly what he did today, but playing “pirate” was involved, and there were damages paid. 

So after stressing out about my whether my kid will someday be headlining America’s Most Wanted and exactly how much I’m to blame for that, I had to go to work.  I was definitely not in the mood to be there, and I wasn’t sure how well I could deal.  So I borrowed some anti-anxiety medicine from my cousin and spent half the afternoon feeling, shall we say, very relaxed.  It felt good.  It was the closest I’ll ever come to being drunk at work!  If I had a doctor, or if I had some insurance, I might consider getting some of that medicine for myself.  Unfortunately, I do not have insurance, and I only go to the doctor when I have the money to pay for an office visit and/or I’m deathly ill, which thankfully is rare.

Anyway, I managed to get through my day at work.  I had been very tempted to call in sick earlier in the day, but I knew I desperately needed the money, so I went.  Turns out that was a good thing, because they were short-handed.  My crazy co-worker who is all of 30 years old, said she had to leave because she thought she was having a stroke.  She said she’d had one before and she knew what it felt like.  She had been talking to her sister half the morning and she only said she had to leave after they had been hashing out drama for over an hour.   I swear on my life this woman is completely insane and gets insane-er every single day!

Finally I made it home and the kids and I met my cousin at the high school football field track and walked.  I did two miles and she did two miles plus one lap.  It was a little easier than last time, which was an exercise in frustration, if you’ll pardon the pun.  Last time, I was absolutely dragging myself around that track by the 2nd or 3rd lap.  This time I had my music with me and it wasn’t so difficult.  I still had to make myself go, but at least tonight I didn’t want to throw myself down on the track and pass out.  It wasn’t easy but I kept going.

The kids had fun while we were walking.  The girls practiced driving in the school parking lot.  They really loved it and for the most part they did a good job.  Afterwards we went to Subway and had supper.  Now, in an effort to drive me completely insane, they’re watching “The Nightmare Before Christmas” of all things.  They don’t know it, but as soon as the movie is over, they are going to bed, all three of them.  Hopefully I can last long enough to make them do what they’re told.   I’m about to fall completely asleep myself!  We stayed up until very late last night watching movies, and The Boy woke up at about 6!  Naturally!

Anyway, my number one project now is to find a creative and/or physical outlet for my son, Walter Mitty, and his extraordinarily fertile imagination.  If there is a community class out there that combines marital arts, method acting, and zen meditation, SIGN HIM UP, immediately!

Until next time,



2 Responses to “Snakes and Snails, and the Oscar Goes To….”

  1. Anthony Colby Says:

    Well Love I hate to tell you that you had better get ready because I believe poor decision making and impulsiveness are dominant male traits.
    I don’t know what makes them jump off 20 foot high buildings on to trampolines and go hurtling through the air like something shot out of a cannon and land in the yard laughing and daring their friends to follow, or to fart out loud in the Oklahoma City Museum of Art and giggle like fiends. These are just a few examples of behavior exhibited by an adult male who shall remain nameless.
    We went to the art museum and the boys’ behavior was atrocious, they farted and snickered in the European art section, the called the modern art section “A bunch of worthless crap” loud enough for everyone in the place to hear.
    They wrestled and pushed and tried to trigger the motion detectors around the Dale Chiluly glass exhibit. I was a freakin nervous wreck by the time we got out of there. I was scared to death they were gonna break something priceless. The worst part about it was that the ringleader was the same adult male that shall remain nameless.
    So take heart sister and remember that you are not alone.
    Love you

    • LenaDeeAnne Says:

      Hey there! Thanks for that. I know a certain amount of daring and gross-ness is natural in a child of the male persuasion, but this kid! I never know if I’m doing things right, or if I’ll someday have a say in who narrates his segment of the “Criminal Minds’ documentary on the History Channel! It’s scary and frustrating.

      Thanks for reading! Love ya!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s