The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

Living With Dictators: Hitler and Mussolini’s Morning Antics May 25, 2010

Filed under: Four-Legged Love — DDKlingonGirl @ 9:22 pm
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Hello all.  Welcome to the ‘Living With Dictators series.  The Dictators, in case you missed it, are our new kittens.  Hitler is the male, who eats like every meal is his last, and acts like he left his brain in his pants pocket.  Mussolini is the female, a bit smaller, daintier, and apparently smarter than her brother.  This is episode 1- We follow The Dictators through their morning routine.  It begins at approximately 6:30 a.m.

(Hitler) “Hey.  Hey, Moose… You awake?”

(Mussolini) “Of course I’m awake, you’re lying on me, get off!  Did you hear something? Is someone up?  Did I hear an alarm?  I think someone’s up!  Helloooo!?  Helloooooo?!  I’m HUNGRY!”

H- “Hey, me too!  Helloooooo!?  Hello? Hello?  Hello?  Hungry!  Hungry!  Hungry!”

M- “Hello?  Hello?  Hello?  I’m Hungry!  I’m Hungry!  Hello?”

H- “I WANT SOMETHING TO EAT NOWWWW!”

M- “Hey, I think the door’s gonna open!  Run for it!”

H- “It is!  I see feet.  Hey, wait for me!”

M- “If you wind around under their feet, they feed you faster. ‘Hurry up! I’m HUNGRY!’  Come on, tell her to hurry up!  If I don’t get something to eat right this second, I’m going to go into a kitty coma!”

H- “You’re such a weiner!  Hey, where’s mine?  I’m hungry!  Hungry!  Please?  Now?”

M- “Oh, yeah, that’s more like it.  Mmm, turkey giblets, my favorite.  There’s more gravy this morning, did you notice?  Oh, yum, that just hits the spot. Would you stop growling while you eat? I’m not gonna take it away from you!”

H- “foodfoodfoodfoodfoodfoodfoodfood!” 

7:00 a.m.

M- “That was so good.  And the water was nice and fresh too, didn’t you think?  I need to wash my face- I get so messy when I eat.  Hitler?  Are you STILL eating?  That better not be my leftovers, you greedy pig!”

H- “foodfoodfoodfoodfoodfood”

M- “You’re pathetic.  (This is the way we wash our face, wash our face, wash our face, This is the way we wash our face, after we eat breakfast!)”

H- “Ugh.  Oh boy.  I’m a little full.  Wow, take a look at my stomach!  I can hardly walk- I think I might explode.  Hey, watch me waddle!”

M- “You sir, are completely uncouth.  I bet I can beat you to that shoe over there!”

H- “Not a chance, big mouth!  Hey, you cheated!  I’mma tackle you!”

M- “You are not! HA!  I’ve got you in a headlock!  Hey, what’s that under that chair- COOL!  It’s a gum wrapper!  Watch what I can make it do.”

H- “That’s nothing, watch what The Mama does when I climb up here on this hangy-down thing by the window! Ouch, easy Mom! Wheee!” 

M- “Hey, where’d you go?  Oh well.  What’s up here on this big blue cloth mountain they sit on?   I’M KING OF THE WORLD!  Oh, hey Hitler, there you are!”

H- “I knew I could climb up here.  I just had to get a running start.  It felt like my claws were gonna fall out!  Maybe I shouldn’t have had so much breakfast!” 

M- “Of course not, especially since it was MY leftovers, Greedy! Get off my mountain!”

H- “Make me, Shrimpo!”

M- “All right, that’s it.  I’m gonna bite your tail off!”

H- “Not if I bite yours first!  Come back here.  You can’t get away from me, you know I’ll find you!”

M- “You gotta catch me first, Pudgy!”

H- “Hey, wait!  Help!  They caught me!  I think they’re gonna put us back in prison!  Moose!  HELP!  Nooooo, I was just starting to have fun!  Oh, whew, there you are.  So we’re back in here again.  Great.” 

M- “She got me.  I tried to go under that big walky-thing that makes noise, but she chased me out, and then I went under the chair and around behind that thing that holds the big loud talking picture, and then she caught me.  I don’t like it in here, this is boring!  Mom!  Mom!  Mom!  I want out!  Let me OUT!  Mom!”

H- “Quit whining, you baby, I’m tryin’ to poop over here!”

M- “Oh, gross, now I really want out!  You better be using the box, Nasty!  Mom, Mom, Mom!  Do you hear them?  It’s too late, they’re gone.  I guess we’re stuck.  Where’d you put that white stick with the fuzzy stuff on the ends?  Oh, there it is!  I bet I can bat it farther than you!  Hitler?  Hitler?  Hey, good idea, I think I’ll take a nap too.  I’m pretty… slee…py…. hmmmmm.”

____________________________________________

Until next time,

D.

 

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