The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

This Kid Makes the Energizer Bunny Feel Tired! May 15, 2010

Hello all.  I think this post needs to be dedicated to my son, the comedian.  Let’s see.  What has he said in the last three hours that has made me laugh like a hyena? 

Well first of all, he’s been running around the house all evening.  Daughter S. and I have been watching a movie, and most of the time we’ve been doing this, The Boy has been running.  Just running.  Like Forrest Gump.  All over the house.  From the front door to the back door, from the laundry room to the hall, from the bedroom to the couch.  At one point he hid behind one corner and said, “Hey, Mom- am I moving so fast you can’t even see me?”  My attention was engaged in the movie at the time, and I said “Huh?” (I know, brilliant, right?) And he said, “Really watch me this time!  I’m moving so fast you can’t even see me!”  And then he made another circuit through the front half of the house.  He came up and stood in front of my chair, lifted his shirt, flashed his belly at me, (His newly chubby belly instead of his deathly concave, all-ribcage belly, thanks to changing ADHD med!)  and asked, “Does it look like I’ve losed-ed weight?”  I said. “Is that why you’re running?” And he said, “Yeah, Mom, cause I need exercise!  I gotta lose weight and get my muscles back!” 

Then he climbed up on my lap and put his head on my chest and I rubbed my hand over his hair and he asked, “Is my hair all covered with sweat-ness?”  So I said, “Yeah, you need to take a bath.”  His response?  “Why?  The bathtub is full of stuff and the shower’s probably hairy.”

Then he climbed down and took off again, and at a later point in the evening, he was in the living room floor doing push-ups!   And he stopped and said, “Uh-oh, I’m getting too strong.  I gotta stop, ’cause when I get too strong, the blue line pops out, and it runs from there to there, (pointing to his inner arm) and when the blue line pops out you’re getting too strong.  And I don’t wanna get such big muscles I can’t even reach up and scratch my head!”  I said, “I don’t think anybody gets that big of muscles.”  And he said, “Uh-HUH!  On tv!  Like on Fairly OddParents!” (Referring to a cartoon character styled after Arnold Schwarzenegger).

Then he jumped down and took off again.  Later I asked him to hand me my purse or something, and he said, “I can’t- I have little tiny arms like a T-Rex!”  Then he bent his arms at his chest where his hands were only a couple of inches from his chest and waved them frantically, saying “Aaaauuuhhh, I’m a tiny-armed T-Rex!”

A few minutes ago he had found some purple vampire teeth and was lurching around growling and hissing at us, and he crawled up beside my chair and said, “I’m a werewolf, but I’m a good werewolf, and I want to be petted!”  Now the Tiny Armed T-Rex is riding the arm of the couch, using MY pillow as a saddle, watching Daughter S. play Avatar on the PS3, talking about ‘banshees, ikrans, and battling the RDA against the Na’vi.’  I’m not sure, but I think it’s time to break out the Benedryl if he’s ever going to get to sleep! 

Gotta love living with this kid- Half Jim Carrey, half Energizer Bunny!

Until next time,

D.

 

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