Hello all. I’ve needed to write a new post for a few days, and there are so many things rolling around in my head I don’t know where to start.
I wanted to talk about how I had a great time laughing with my mom last night on the phone about what a nut she is, but now I’m not clear on what she was being so nutty about.
I wanted to talk about how much I hate it when my daughters have PMS, because they are so unbelievably cranky and difficult, and they give me evil looks and act like they hate the world, but there’s not much more to say about that.
I wanted to talk about how aggravated I was at myself because the kids did not do the stuff I left for them in my note yesterday, and when I got home, I didn’t make them do it, and I feel like a complete loser parent who’s raising spoiled brats.
I wanted to talk about how I made some nasty ‘meal in a box’ crap for supper last night and ate most of it myself because the kids were too darn picky, and how I ate the leftovers for breakfast this morning, and how I’m really struggling with Weight Watchers, and I’ll probably either gain or stay the same again this week and if I do I’ll be really, REALLY depressed.
I wanted to talk about the fact that apparently we’re missing church this morning for no reason other than that I picked up the computer when I got up instead of waking up the girls. And because I got on Facebook and started talking to one of my friends whose life is a complete trainwreck right now, and trying to help them was more pressing to me than getting up and getting ready for church, even though aside from listening to them and letting them know I love and support them, there is not a thing in the world I can do.
I wanted to talk about how it disturbs me that I tell my kid that a student at her school got killed in a car wreck yesterday and she is completely unmoved, even to say “Oh. How sad. A young life cut short and wasted.” Instead she says, “Meh. Doesn’t affect me.”
I wanted to talk about how I feel about a lot of things in general, and how I can’t even talk about those things here in my beloved blog because of the people who may or may not read it and what they may or may not think of what I say.
I wanted to talk honestly about recent experiences in my life and what they’ve taught me. I wanted to talk about where this “journey to becoming my true self” will end and what my true self might look like, and what if I never, ever get to where I feel like my true and authentic self?
Those are the things I wanted to talk about. But since I can’t think of a brilliant way to talk about those, I’ll just say that… it’s still raining. Yuck.
Until next time,