The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman

One woman's journey to becoming Her True Self

My Own Conversation With God January 28, 2010

Filed under: Love and Other Sucky Stuff,Whatever — DDKlingonGirl @ 4:35 am

The following is something my counselor assigned me to write. I went to WalMart after I got off work, and I was sitting in the car in the parking lot, waiting for my mom and dad to get there, and trying to remember what on earth possessed me to go to WalMart three days before Christmas. I started writing, and wrote this whole thing all the way through before I ever went in the store. It’s a conversation with God, and I am playing both parts. She told me to remember that God could have a sense of humor, and that He was big enough to handle my anger about where my life is right now, even though it was totally my choice to get into this marriage in the first place. So, dear reader, if this strikes you as irreverent, it’s not meant to be disrespectful, just seeking… enjoy!

Conversation With God

God: “So I already know what’s on your mind, obviously, but I’ll ask you- what’s on your mind?”

Me: “What’s on my mind is that this really, REALLY, indescribably, sucks!”

“What sucks?”

“You know what sucks! Losing another marriage sucks. Especially to someone I actually like this time, who likes me, who I never fight with, who I can trust not to screw around on me. Pick a reason!”

“He couldn’t make you happy and he knew that. And you knew it. You were not happy with him, and you never would have been. Why waste the time, as if I didn’t know what you’re going to say?”

“Ok, then, Mr. Smarty-God, what am I going to say?”

“You’re going to say that being with him was not perfect, but tolerable. You’re going to say that you could deal with it, that you could lower your expectations, that it was better than being alone. Did I miss anything?”

“Ok, fine. That’s what I was going to say. Geez, Omniscience must be such a drag. So what’s your response to that, then? Why shouldn’t it be ok for two people who love each other, who get along and have fun and make each other laugh, to have a happy marriage that lasts forever?”

“It IS ok. It happens.”

“But not to me.”

“It will.” 

“Whatever.”

“No, really. It will. Do you wanna know why you and Mark couldn’t be together?”

“Yes, I’d like a really good answer to that, if you’d be so kind.”

“Well I’m nothing if not kind. Here’s your answer: Hide and Go Seek.”

“Ok, what?!”

“Hide and Go Seek. You know. The game.”

“Ok, what??!”

“Look, in the game of hide and seek, you have hiders and seekers, right?”

“Yeah…”

“You and he were on opposite sides of the game, chasing opposite goals. He was a hider. He wanted nothing more than to run away and avoid. Avoid everything: problems, fears, weaknesses, desires. Basically everything that is life.”

“And I’m a seeker?”

“You’re a seeker. You are seeking Me. You are seeking what you want from life: a career where you belong, a relationship that makes you happy, Spiritual Truth. You and he were on different trajectories, and he would always have been a weight, pulling you from the direction you were aimed.”

“Is there another seeker out there I’m supposed to find? Someone out there I’m destined to be with through your Big Plan?”

“Maybe. Maybe not. I’m keeping that one under my hat for now. But you must continue to seek. The finding is all in the Search. If there is no search, nothing can be found.”

“Great, now you sound like Yoda.”

“Aye, young grasshopper. Star Wars a great piece of filmmaking was. Ok, I’m kidding. But you’re seeking Truth, and that is a piece of it. ‘Seek and ye shall find,’ remember? Oh, and here’s another truth.”

“What?”

“You are MY child. You accepted me many years ago and you put on my Son in Baptism. You are redeemed to be my child and I Love You. Your life is a sweet aroma to me and a melody to my ear. You are lovely with my reflected glory and you are worthy of all that I can and will give you. Trust me. Just trust me…”

“Thanks, God. I’m trying, really I am.”

“I know. Just remember. I am The Force. And The Force is with you.”

“Wait, God! God?” …………………………………………………….

 

2 Responses to “My Own Conversation With God”

  1. Toes Says:

    I have always been but… I’m your biggest fan I just forgot! I think your writing is excellent and right on the money! God invinted humor and I do wonder what He thinks about StarWars lol… I didn’t miss the point, I’m just rambling. 🙂

  2. debbie Says:

    I think that is wonderful. We should have more conversations with God I think he might like starwars better than some of the movie makers things that are supposed to be Biblical


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